Frustrated chump laments that he only matches with 10 people in Los Angeles

[MatureDJ]

https://www.reddit.com/r/OnlineDating/comments/1mrnaae

 

[SW15]

Despite being 6'2", he is likely a non-paying user on Bumble with limited swipes.

Mostly every male needs to be a paying user on swipe apps to get the unlimited swipes.

Also, besides being 6'2", we don't know if he's 6'2" and fit/muscular. Being 6'2" without an impressive physique isn't going to put a man in the top tier. We also don't know his age and if he's balding. These are crucial details.

 

[characternote]

Despite being 6'2", he is likely a non-paying user on Bumble with limited swipes.

Mostly every male needs to be a paying user on swipe apps to get the unlimited swipes.

Also, besides being 6'2", we don't know if he's 6'2" and fit/muscular. Being 6'2" without an impressive physique isn't going to put a man in the top tier. We also don't know his age and if he's balding. These are crucial details.

yeah, height alone is nothing, really. Of all my male friends, I know maybe 2 who i'd say are properly 'incel'. (not just the more recent definition of not getting laid as much as they'd want! I'm talking basically never. Possibly even virgins). One of them is the very autistic guy I mentioned in that other thread when talking to goodman about autism. He's kind of out of the game and irrelevant. He legit doesn't even care about not getting laid etc. Like, honestly. It's just not on his radar. Kind of A-sexual from what i've seen. In a weird way he's blessed! lol.

The other guy is easily 6ft 2. His height has seemingly done him no favours (don't forget the biggest slayer i've ever known, my ex wingman, is a short a$$! About 5ft 8 max. BUT he has movie star good looks, facially. Never even needed too approach. Girls done that!).

The 6ft 2 guy is basically invisible. He's tried online and i've also been out with him many many nights bar hopping and doing cold approach (although it was always mainly me doing the cold approach and he'd either join the set if it looked to be going well, or he'd keep his distance and judge me if I was getting ignored! haha). His fashion isn't good (badly fit jeans, tatty trainers etc). He's actually got some good features like blue eyes. Got 'most' of his hair. Not fat (never been too a gym but played a little sport so he's got a 'normal' body). He's a computer science guy. Very clever! Good sense of humour but also a bit boring and negative.

 

[SW15]

Of all my male friends, I know maybe 2 who i'd say are properly 'incel'. (not just the more recent definition of not getting laid as much as they'd want! I'm talking basically never. Possibly even virgins). One of them is the very autistic guy I mentioned in that other thread when talking to goodman about autism. He's kind of out of the game and irrelevant. He legit doesn't even care about not getting laid etc. Like, honestly. It's just not on his radar. Kind of A-sexual from what i've seen. In a weird way he's blessed! lol.

Incel means involuntarily celibate. These are people who desire to have sex but are unable to have sex. The celibacy period must be extended and the consensus is that the period is at least one year.

There are people who are voluntarily celibate. Some voluntarily celibate people are temporarily celibate but some would be longer term celibate. Voluntary celibate people are.....

• religious people waiting for marriage to have sex. These people find another religious person, they marry, and they have sex. This is more temporary.
• asexual people. There are people with no sexual desire. They are not watching porn and masturbating. They are not on swipe apps trying to land dates and they are not at bars trying to meet people to form relationships that could go sexual. This is a more permanent condition. I agree with you that asexuality can make certain things easier in life. I saw your point about them being blessed.
• people with a shorter term medical issue waiting to resolve one before mating again. There are a lot of conditions this can cover and I won't mention all of them. This can range from someone taking themselves out of the mating market to lose a significant amount of weight (20-50 pounds or more), resolving a hormonal issue, or recovering from an orthopedic surgery that happened while they were single and not seeing anyone. People temporarily not dating in order to complete alcohol or drug rehab are going to short term celibate.
• people recovering from the trauma of a failed relationship. Plenty of people go short term celibate after the breakup of a multiple year non-marital LTR that failed. Going celibate after a failed marriage can happen too, though I don't think that's very common. This is short term and might be healthy as a re-set, but not that many people do this.

Involuntarily celibate looks different than voluntarily celibate when one starts to examine why someone isn't having sex.

height alone is nothing

It's not nothing. It is something. It can hugely helpful.

The 6ft 2 guy is basically invisible. He's tried online and i've also been out with him many many nights bar hopping and doing cold approach (although it was always mainly me doing the cold approach and he'd either join the set if it looked to be going well, or he'd keep his distance and judge me if I was getting ignored! haha). His fashion isn't good (badly fit jeans, tatty trainers etc). He's actually got some good features like blue eyes. Got 'most' of his hair. Not fat (never been too a gym but played a little sport so he's got a 'normal' body). He's a computer science guy. Very clever! Good sense of humour but also a bit boring and negative.

It is shocking that a 6'2" guy would be invisible to women. That's more reserved for 5'10" and shorter men. There are plenty of average height 5'9"-5'10" men who are invisible to women both on the dating apps and in real life. The 5'8" and below shorter men are invisible solely on height.

Is this 6'2" guy invisible due to his lousy fashion? Everything else seems good enough. 6'2" and an average physique (not fat, BMI normal range) is usually good enough to get some attention from women.

He doesn't initiate approaches in real life and that will impact results. His fashion would ruin his swipe app profile pictures/videos, even if he emphasizes being 6'2" in his profile.

His personality seems to stink. That could ruin real life approaches or first dates prior to having sex. A 6'2" man isn't required to be as charismatic in his personality because of his height advantage but this specific 6'2" man can't even reach a minimal personality threshold. Being a computer science guy is a negative. Women aren't attracted to computer science guys on the surface (STEM guys often have a difficult time getting laid and retaining women). He doesn't make enough money to offset his below average personality.

A 6'0"+ height is an advantage but if the guy is a dud other than height, it is going to impact outcomes.