How did You rediscover what you truly wanted from life (after you fell)

[jhonny9546]

It's incredibly difficult for some young men, for some men in general, who have fallen, to later rediscover, or even discover for the first time, what they truly wanted from life.


There are many people out there wounded by breakups, divorces, betrayals, and countless other hardships, and yet, somehow, they’ve managed to put their lives back together.


So… how did you do it?


This isn’t about hitting the gym, building a solid career, keeping busy with healthy routines, or maintaining a socially active lifestyle.
Instead, think aboout the perspective of a man, or a woman, looking at you as a person:
How did you figure out what you truly wanted in life, and showed that energy to others?
What were your long-term goals? What was that inner vision you chose to walk toward?


They say you have to fall many times, really fall, before you can rise properly, before you can walk again, and then, eventually… run.

 

[Redwood]

I'm still in the process. I don't know what it is, but "I'm not trying" to paraphrase Charles Bukowski.

 

[misua]

It’s not always about charging forward, sometimes it’s more about just not giving up, even if you're crawling. Bukowski’s vibe hits hard there. There’s something honest and kind of freeing about not trying in the traditional sense, but still showing up for yourself in small ways.

 

[jhonny9546]

still showing up

"Exposure" and "Repetition"

I mean, it could lead you everywhere, but you need a plan

 

[Gamisch]

It's incredibly difficult for some young men, for some men in general, who have fallen, to later rediscover, or even discover for the first time, what they truly wanted from life.


There are many people out there wounded by breakups, divorces, betrayals, and countless other hardships, and yet, somehow, they’ve managed to put their lives back together.


So… how did you do it?


This isn’t about hitting the gym, building a solid career, keeping busy with healthy routines, or maintaining a socially active lifestyle.
Instead, think aboout the perspective of a man, or a woman, looking at you as a person:
How did you figure out what you truly wanted in life, and showed that energy to others?
What were your long-term goals? What was that inner vision you chose to walk toward?


They say you have to fall many times, really fall, before you can rise properly, before you can walk again, and then, eventually… run.

They( we ) bounce back because "all that happened " was a mere reality check and a socalled " reality adjustment ". You THINK xyz is the truth ( e.g she'll never leave me) untill something changes your perspective. That's it..

I've learned that women are a liability for a man who's the "giving type of person". A ( or mostly a) woman will stop your growth. So you better be FULL GROWN with sound fundamentals when you allow a new woman( aka stranger) into your life. And remember there will ALWAYS be a price to pay...beauty by itself doesn't equal goodness..

At some point you just "figure life out" to a degree where at least YOU can thrive.And yes, you will need TONS of character to pull it off. You gotta be the protagonist in this story, it's on the big screen and the camera is rolling.

 

[JacquesMemoirs]

About a decade ago I gave it some good thought, what i really want to do

I want to win a jackpot lottery, move to European cities, wear top of the line tailored suits, smoke gourmet European cigs, wear some excellent sunglasses, sit at outdoor cafes, sip wine a lot, speak French, and have an entourage of European supermodels I’m banging all around Europe. I’d stay in lots of boutique hotel suites. First class everything. Maybe start using heroin too like Pulp Fiction.

If I had more money I’d buy a castle in Europe and live sort of like Dracula did with lots of hot vampire girls to have sex with me, enslaved, and live in the castle with no phones or electricity, just candles and fireplaces. And a big library. And red wine.

 

[The Duke]

My divorce knocked me down really good, but I wasn't down for long. I've always known what I wanted in life and did whatever it took to acomplish my mission. Never been one to live life on someone elses terms, care much what people think, follow the crowd, nor was I easily distracted from my goals. When this is truly your personality, you don't need to REDISCOVER anything, because you never lose yourself to begin with.

 

[jhonny9546]

My divorce knocked me down really good, but I wasn't down for long. I've always known what I wanted in life and did whatever it took to acomplish my mission. Never been one to live life on someone elses terms, care much what people think, follow the crowd, nor was I easily distracted from my goals. When this is truly your personality, you don't need to REDISCOVER anything, because you never lose yourself to begin with.

This is actually close to my description, except the divorce thing.
You always knew what you wanted in life, so before the divorce, I mean, when you was in your "ex" LTR, which was your vision? Which isyour vision now?
Something had to change right? It would be interesting to know more

 

[zekko]

I've been hurt pretty badly by some women, but as bad as I felt, I never let it destroy me. I had the same goals for myself regardless, it just meant that particular girl wouldn't be going along for the ride with me. So nothing changed there. Basically you just keep going. Force yourself to keep going. Look on the bright side and hope for the future. Time heals all wounds.

Now I've changed my goals a few times in life, but that had nothing to do with women.

 

[The Duke]

This is actually close to my description, except the divorce thing.
You always knew what you wanted in life, so before the divorce, I mean, when you was in your "ex" LTR, which was your vision? Which isyour vision now?
Something had to change right? It would be interesting to know more

Maybe I'm not understanding the question correctly, but my vision hasn't really changed. My vision in life isn't about women and won't be altered by some woman. What I want out of life is so much greater than a woman. Sure I enjoy them and love my time spent with them, but I don't rely on women. I control my destiny, not some silly emotional woman. I have yet to find a woman that manages her life(financially, emotionally, physically, mentally, etc) as well as I manage mine, therefore I won't let one impact my vision. I'm running the show, not her.

 

[zekko]

I have yet to find a woman that manages her life(financially, emotionally, physically, mentally, etc) as well as I manage mine, therefore I won't let one impact my vision. I'm running the show, not her.

This made me think about couples I know where the woman mostly runs things. Usually the women are fairly capable, but there is also usually a deficit or weakness in the man somewhere. For instance, maybe the guy is not good at making money, so the woman controls the finances since she earns most of the money. Or maybe the guy does not have the self discipline or mind for numbers to manage the finances, so the women has control and gives him an allowance - even if the guy earns most or all of the money. If a guy has his life together, there is no need for a woman to have such control.

 

[jhonny9546]

I'm running the show, not her.

What do you want out of life?
How can you be so sure?
And when new opportunities come your way, do you open your mind or stay stuck in old beliefs?

If a guy has his life together, there is no need for a woman to have such control.

My two cousins, before being divorced by their wives, used to mock their brother-in-law — their little sister's husband — for being too much of a "leader" or "controlling."


And honestly, I can admit it: in that relationship, he's definitely the one calling the shots!

 

[zekko]

My two cousins, before being divorced by their wives, used to mock their brother-in-law — their little sister's husband — for being too much of a "leader" or "controlling."

Well, there is a difference between being a leader and being controlling.

 

[jhonny9546]

How curious it is to glimpse that when a woman will get to satisfy all 4 of those needs, and will get to that of self actualizing, you will start to see her delirious, not happy, and sabotage the relationship.

This pyramid should be personalized for each of us and stuck like a poster on the fridge of each house, so that we can gather there in the evening to see how many things we take for granted.

You said it right, we are limited.


@New_Journey Do you actually got your pyramid satisfied?