"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Things that will make you less attractive

jhonny9546

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Lately, I’ve been facing a bit of a personal struggle.
I haven’t flown in over three years because of some bad experiences in the past, and fear has been holding me back.
I’m usually the first one to dive into new experiences, but this has been a tough one to overcome.


The other day, I started wondering, how much does something like this affect how attractive someone is?
Like, if a person has a fear of flying, maybe due to past trauma, does that come off as less attractive?
In your opinion, would that be considered a turn-off for women??
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Bokanovsky

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The other day, I started wondering, how much does something like this affect how attractive someone is?
Like, if a person has a fear of flying, maybe due to past trauma, does that come off as less attractive?
In your opinion, would that be considered a turn-off for women??
100%.

Keep your weaknesses to yourself. You have nothing to gain from oversharing.
 

Travel memoir21

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When you're confident, looks maxed, and made resounding improvements about yourself, it's good to reveal some vulnerabilities to connect with the women you like and build rapport. Lol, this is not just for women but for people in general and all types of relationships. Our weaknesses can be a bonding source of strength and humility at the end of the day.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Westminster

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When you're confident, looks maxed, and made resounding improvements about yourself, it's good to reveal some vulnerabilities to connect with the women you like and build rapport. Lol, this is not just for women but for people in general and all types of relationships. Our weaknesses can be a bonding source of strength and humility at the end of the day.
I don't agree. Not in a romantic relationship with a woman.

In my experience, a bit of mystery is better than vulnerability.
 

SW15

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In my experience, a bit of mystery is better than vulnerability.
This is correct. When a man sharing something, it makes sense to consider whether the information will affect his SMV negatively.

I haven’t flown in over three years because of some bad experiences in the past, and fear has been holding me back.
I’m usually the first one to dive into new experiences, but this has been a tough one to overcome.

The other day, I started wondering, how much does something like this affect how attractive someone is?
Like, if a person has a fear of flying, maybe due to past trauma, does that come off as less attractive?
In your opinion, would that be considered a turn-off for women??
The answer depends to an extent on the preferences of local women in Italy. I can only answer this from the perspective of a United States man who dates a certain subset of United States women.

Even if you did everything well in the earlier stages of an interaction, I could envision a fear of flying and a lack of travel shortening some relationships. If your fear of flying prevented some travel, that could cause a woman to lose some attraction for you. Your interactions could survive if she had enough overall attraction for you.

In the United States, there are many White women with bachelor's degrees or higher working white collar jobs (typically I call them bougie White women) who wouldn't like having an LTR where they didn't do air travel because of a boyfriend's fear of flying. A lot of these bougie White women will like to do vacations that wouldn't be feasible by car travel. Train travel isn't common in the United States and would also be more time consuming. Train travel would have some similar limitations as car travel as well.

In Europe, train travel is a little more feasible for vacations. However, even in Europe, a man with a fear of air travel is likely going to have issues in longer term interactions with many women.

In the United States, a man is likely to see his SMV be affected in longer term relationships if he's unwilling to take longer vacations involving air travel due to a fear of flying. In shorter term interactions, this is unlikely to have much impact. Some women might never even learn of this fear if the interaction is short enough.

It's possible that a man with a fear of flying also possesses other unattractive traits. His looks and overall physique might not be good enough to overcome those issues on personality.
 

jhonny9546

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When you say "keep it to yourself" I tell you that it is very difficult. There will be questions about "what trips have you taken", "where will you go in the future".

In this case how would you avoid it? What if they told you directly that they wanted to go somewhere?
 

Westminster

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When you say "keep it to yourself" I tell you that it is very difficult. There will be questions about "what trips have you taken", "where will you go in the future".

In this case how would you avoid it? What if they told you directly that they wanted to go somewhere?
I'd just say I'm not a fan of flying, I find it a hassle rather than saying you're afraid of it. Play it low key.
 

Travel memoir21

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I absolutely dread the return trip between where I'm at and going back to my hometown back in the states. Its a 12 hour flight from South Korea to Dallas and I'm jet lagged as crap when I get back to Texas. You know you're about to gain some good ole fashion American weight when the first thing on your mind is Dave's Double combo at Wendys or at Whataburger or something and Some Mexican Food the following night...Yum.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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plumber

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When you're confident, looks maxed, and made resounding improvements about yourself, it's good to reveal some vulnerabilities to connect with the women you like and build rapport. Lol, this is not just for women but for people in general and all types of relationships. Our weaknesses can be a bonding source of strength and humility at the end of the day.
this works up to a point. then it doesn't.

we get something like credits for amount of communication and thoughtfully actions. the friendship can become intense from this.

on the back burner is evolutionary biology, its in everyone. she will loose lust for you over time if you connect to closely. she must be seeking connection, not having it silver spoon fed.
 

BadBoy89

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Fear of flying is OK.

Major turnoffs are lack of height and loss of hair.
 

obelisk

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I have absolutely made these mistakes up until very recently as I worked through some trauma of my own. 100% what everyone said above.

A little mystery is a good thing. Displaying vulnerability and trauma publicly is ultimately toxic to attraction and effects people's perceptions of you. Managing one's public persona is part of being a smart, well-adjusted, non-reactive man.

This is definitely one area where reading The 48 Laws of Power can help to give context for why sharing too much of your struggles is ultimately self-defeating.
 
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