lots of woman friends, but no attraction?

[Barrister]

Desperation is the attraction killer. You’re clearly emanating it to these women and it’s drying them up towards you.

Also - I assume you’re a young guy, but pro tip - these women who you consider “friends” are not your friends. You can certainly use them for social proof and perhaps social circle game to match you to other women, but don’t make the mistake of thinking they will be loyal to you the way a man is loyal to you who is your friend. Some of us older bucks have learned this lesson the hard way. But experience is always the best teacher.

 

[SW15]

these women who you consider “friends” are not your friends. You can certainly use them for social proof and perhaps social circle game to match you to other women

That's the best use of female friends, female acquaintances, and current and former female co-workers. However, I think a lot of this effect is overrated. There are fewer social circle introductions happening.

Most women in LTRs and marriages are friends with other married women and other women in LTRs. The chances of getting an introduction off of a woman in a longer term non-marital relationship or a marriage are not very high in most cases.

don’t make the mistake of thinking they will be loyal to you the way a man is loyal to you who is your friend. Some of us older bucks have learned this lesson the hard way. But experience is always the best teacher.

So true.

Men can even have unpleasant endings to friendships with women even when they are friends with a mediocre looking woman that they don't consider attractive and wouldn't pursue romantically.

Desperation is the attraction killer. You’re clearly emanating it to these women and it’s drying them up towards you.

There's something off about his vibe with unattached women. It's also possible he's not putting himself in the right places.

 

[Barrister]

That's the best use of female friends, female acquaintances, and current and former female co-workers. However, I think a lot of this effect is overrated. There are fewer social circle introductions happening.

Most women in LTRs and marriages are friends with other married women and other women in LTRs. The chances of getting an introduction off of a woman in a longer term non-marital relationship or a marriage are not very high

Agree it’s overrated. I think a problem with it is that it usually comes with some level of expectation from one or both parties just by operation of them having the mutual friend who fills their heads with said expectations of what the other person is going to be like. “You two are perfect for each other” when you are anything but - but go in with this expectation that this person is really something. Experienced men can know better. Bigger issue is the lack of options from it there are usually very few highly attractive, single friends in a social group unless they happen to be inbetween LTRs.

 

[SW15]

Agree it’s overrated. I think a problem with it is that it usually comes with some level of expectation from one or both parties just by operation of them having the mutual friend who fills their heads with said expectations of what the other person is going to be like. “You two are perfect for each other” when you are anything but - but go in with this expectation that this person is really something. Experienced men can know better.

Social circle setups that fail usually fail because its a setup solely based on 2 people having the same social connection and their primary commonality at that moment is an unattached status.

Experienced men often know that they can find more compatible options outside of their social sphere.

For Average Frustrated Chump beta types, this often represents one of their best options.

Bigger issue is the lack of options from it there are usually very few highly attractive, single friends in a social group unless they happen to be inbetween LTRs.

In my mind as I respond to this, I'm doing a thought experiment about how this would play out with my local female social connections.

I don't have any female friends locally right now. I have some acquaintances, mainly in the wives of my male friends. I have some former female co-workers I could broach the subject with at this moment.

My male friends wives have social connections that are typically married women and married women with children 10 and under. The wives also rarely see me and don't have much of an opinion on me. It depends on the specific wife we are talking about here. There are wives of my male friends that I haven't seen in 5+ years.

I have some former female co-workers who I know well enough to ask for introductions. However, I know the general types of people they know. They know most married people with children under 18 and a few single moms. They don't know the types of women I'm seeking in general.

I don't have any social circle options at the moment and have never really had them.

My options are approaching strangers in real life, swipe apps, and sending DMs on social media.

I've chosen to focus on approaching strangers in real life.

 

[maturin]

[QUOTE="Gamisch, post: 3149484, member: 159890"
I only disagree with the male age factor. We keep seeing old facts go after young 3rd broads and getting taken to the
[/QUOTE]

The old fart going to 3rd world. What can you say. It's speaks for itself. Lonely dudes at the root of it.

Then there's the sugar daddy. Who uses resources, which is all they know, to spend time with girls young enough to be their daughters. Another version of the AFC post 40. Part of it is being seen in public with a young hot girl. A flex in their fked up heads. These are guys that never got the 20 years olds when they were in their 20s. If they did, they certainly wouldn't do this sh8t. I think this is demeaning for a successful guy to lower oneself like this. A lot of them are very needy and basically breathing ATMs who are being played and don't care.

Another guy that goes falls under the radar is the 55+ guys who are finally called into service by the once attractive women who'd never look at them 20 years earlier. The unchosen men in their primes. Women their age need a support structure for chores, debt bailouts, chauffeur work. Now these guys get their turn. Without the zex of course. Look around. You will see this phenomena. It's very real.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

but wit girls who are single, it's almost like they "Sense" I'm single too or something and are way lesss friendly. It's very frustrating!

So, you are correlating their lack of friendliness, to their alleged perception that you're single?

Not sure how that logically follows.

Ive heard the idea of "make friends w woman" and they can introduce you to other woman.. but Idk? Do I just have to go out with them to clubs/bars and they are like ym social proof?

So basically, instead of being a man and controlling your own destiny, you'd rather rely on women to lead you by the hand?

I thought men were supposed to be leaders?

another example is I was super close with girl who had BF, they just broke up (or having issues) and now she's kinda weird around me .. WAY less friendly and open etc

I'm just trying to figure out what im doing wrong,

I can make good friends with guys
Make good friends with girls who have BF's

and just can't find a girlfriend...

Hit the gym and build muscle (if you haven't yet).

Cold approach.

Problem solved.

 

[BadBoy89]

another example is I was super close with girl who had BF, they just broke up (or having issues) and now she's kinda weird around me .. WAY less friendly and open etc

I'm just trying to figure out what im doing wrong,

You are a threat to her in terms of sex, her guard is up.

If you had a gf, her guard would be down.
If she had a bf, her guard would be down.

But both single? She has to be careful.