I had a flirt session the other day. Ran into her again today. What to make of her behavior?

[Gamisch]

I've made moves on gals I thought would say yeah, yet still got turned down. All it did was make me hate rejection even more.


Tech methods are how I've gotten a lot of my successes.

Been asking this for fourth time now. Let's try it again;

What do you have to offer a woman? How will you be an enrichment to her life?

 

[GoodMan32]

If I gotta be dead honest , it creates a "rich getting richer " type of dynamic .

Eventually the bar/ OLD/ festival will be full of men who DO think they got what it takes, while the rest of men indeed stays home without even trying to make themselves presentable.

And unfortunately...nobody cares!

The bar can have 200 people . If there 130 men and 70 women we got a great party. No one cares about the man who does NOT wanna participate. They weed themselves out. A festival wil have the same dynamic but only ten times bigger, with even less rules and more play.

Something as simple as the gym has the same dynamic. The men who DO care about their body will be there, thus a woman will go there wearing a " cute " outfit because it's filled to the brim with men that prepare themselves for success.

The men who don't wanna take risks / effort won't be missed at all. In other times they would've died in a silly war or doing a dangerous job. Now they get to live longer ,but they won't ever reproduce now and they wouldn't reproduce in any other era of humanity.

That "experiment " proofs my point; women (sub) consciously know that the truly confident men will stay on OLD and thus it becomes a form of POSSIBLE social proof. Imagine a man talking about OLD as women do: saying its just a hook up app for quick lays . That alone indicates that that man has exactly that experience there, whereas other men will say its like beating a dead horse and its pointless to use OLD.

@GoodMan32...still waiting....

A bar with 130 dudes and 70 gals sounds miserable. It's only mathematically possible for approximately half of the men to succeed in that scenario.

As for the gym, you touched upon the topic of a woman trying to get attention from men at the gym. It just so happens there was one time at the gym (back when I went) where a woman I already knew in a provocative outfit was giving me a possible IOI. I never acted on the IOI thanks to my crippling phobia of misreading an IOI from a woman I'm going to cross paths with again (that woman has given me other possible IOIs before too for that matter)

 

[Gamisch]

A bar with 130 dudes and 70 gals sounds miserable. It's only mathematically possible for approximately half of the men to succeed in that scenario.

As for the gym, you touched upon the topic of a woman trying to get attention from men at the gym. It just so happens there was one time at the gym (back when I went) where a woman I already knew in a provocative outfit was giving me a possible IOI. I never acted on the IOI thanks to my crippling phobia of misreading an IOI from a woman I'm going to cross paths with again (that woman has given me other possible IOIs before too for that matter)

 

[GoodMan32]

Been asking this for fourth time now. Let's try it again;

What do you have to offer a woman? How will you be an enrichment to her life?

The first time you asked, I mentioned that I apparently had enough to offer that a married woman would drive 40 minutes one way to bang me.

Beyond that, I honestly have a hard time coming up with an answer to your question. I'm a low-income autist with hardly any social life (and mental illnesses galore). On the surface, I admit I sound like a terrible partner.

 

[Gamisch]

The first time you asked, I mentioned that I apparently had enough to offer that a married woman would drive 40 minutes one way to bang me.

Beyond that, I honestly have a hard time coming up with an answer to your question. I'm a low-income autist with hardly any social life (and mental illnesses galore). On the surface, I admit I sound like a terrible partner.

You see what I just did? I helped you to expose yourself! You have NO BUSINESS bothering women right now.

Leave the forum untill you have a solid answer, okay?

Do NOT come back untill you have a answer! Atta boy.

 

[GoodMan32]

You see what I just did? I helped you to expose yourself! You have NO BUSINESS bothering women right now.

Leave the forum untill you have a solid answer, okay?

Do NOT come back untill you have a answer! Atta boy.

Even if I have a solid answer, that still won't solve the core problem of being terrified to act on any IOIs from a woman I'm going to cross paths with again.

 

[BPH]

@GoodMan32 Jesus Christ man, I've never seen somebody post on here as much as you do, not even MatureDJ.

You can solve 90% of your problems by going to the gym and talking to girls in the real world instead of endlessly posting on here. Every one of your threads reads like a damn novel.

 

[BeExcellent]

Ugh. @Gamisch is correct. You are putting the cart before the horse. Hit the gym, establish some workout habits, see what you can do to improve your work/financial prospects....those things are more important than cruising for chicks right now, and as you body and prospects improve, you'll gain some confidence, which you need.

My husband is not a good comparator for you, spectrum or not. He has serious Chad looks, makes 6 figures at a Fortune 500 company, is a semi pro athlete, and has a lean, trim & sexy physique. He looks amazing naked, and is handsome enough and photogenic enough he could model professionally. He has a eclectic LA rock star style and was in the music business in years past. He has an incredible voice and an entralling stage presence/persona.

As a result, women approach him constantly and give him IOIs constantly. He misses some of the cues, secondary to his difficulty with social calibration, but women will walk right up & try to pick him up. At times even with me sitting right there. They ask who he is, what band is he in, etc., etc., etc., He usually just stares at them for a moment...then he announces "I'm with my wife", and turns his back on them or shoos them away. He comes off very arrogant and aloof, even rude to them, and tends to make them look & feel foolish. Some of this is unintentional, some of it isn't.

He's had many sexual escapades because of his looks over the years, but has been, up until this point, a serial monogamist in relationships. Basically girls want him sexually because of his looks and badboy attitude, which is partially attributable to his condition, but he's over hook up culture & sees little value to it.

You are nowhere near his league looks wise. And that is the number 1 thing women sexually select on: looks and physique. He has both and also a killer smile.

He is pretty good at initial flirting because he's had so much practice thanks to women approaching him. That's also why he struggles in LTRs because has not been required to modify his behavior in the initial stages. He is direct and a "bold move" guy. Again, partially but not wholly attributable to the spectrum.

Some guys have less looks but on point physique.

Hit the gym for crying out loud.

 

[SW15]

You are putting the cart before the horse. Hit the gym, establish some workout habits, see what you can do to improve your work/financial prospects....those things are more important than cruising for chicks right now

Hit the gym for crying out loud.

"Money, muscles, and game" -- Rollo Tomassi

 

[GoodMan32]

@GoodMan32 Jesus Christ man, I've never seen somebody post on here as much as you do, not even MatureDJ.

You can solve 90% of your problems by going to the gym and talking to girls in the real world instead of endlessly posting on here. Every one of your threads reads like a damn novel.

Per my stats, I've made a little less than 2 thousand posts. Many members have made way more posts.

 

[Gamisch]

Per my stats, I've made a little less than 2 thousand posts. Many members have made way more posts.

Yeah but we try to help one another. You post only about YOUR story, your pity life ,your asd, your field report from a decade ago.

Hardly ever you try to advice someone. It's all about you you you.

 

[GoodMan32]

You are nowhere near his league looks wise. And that is the number 1 thing women sexually select on: looks and physique. He has both and also a killer smile.

I seemed to recall you speaking highly of my looks on a past post. After a quick search, I was able to find the post:

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...ell-us-when-they-want-sex.279290/post-3058418

On the post I linked from September 2023, you said (about me):

"He’s trim, has facial symmetry, a good nose & eyes. He’s not going grace the cover of Men’s Health but he’s certainly above average looking."

That quote would suggest the gap between my looks and your husband's looks isn't as large as you're making it sound on today's post.

As for a killer smile, I've had a female coworker comment on my smile.

 

[GoodMan32]

Yeah but we try to help one another. You post only about YOUR story, your pity life ,your asd, your field report from a decade ago.

Hardly ever you try to advice someone. It's all about you you you.

I hardly ever give advice because a man with as little success as me isn't exactly in a position to give advice (for the most part)

I recently gave advice, however, about a rare scenario I am in a position to give advice on. A 25 year old poster made a thread about being into 30-40 year old gals (and was wondering how a man his age could increase his odds with a woman that age)

I shared my field report from when my 23 year old self managed to get a 35 year old woman's number at a mini mart. Yeah, the field report is 10 years old. I really don't see why the fact the field report is old matters. The field report was relevant to the thread (I was around the age he currently is; the woman was in the age range he's interested in)

 

[Bokanovsky]

Thanks for saying that. I could never really embrace the PUA idea that you should value rejections and not let them bother you. I mean I get the idea behind it, and in some aspects it makes sense, but I never got to the point where I enjoyed rejections. It's good that you make the attempt, but I've never liked being rejected, whatever the reason.

Agreed. The idea that one should go out and get rejected a thousand times and that it would somehow make him more confident is absolutely nuts, just like most PUA advice. Anyone who has ever played sports knows that you gain confidence from your wins, not from your losses.

 

[Bokanovsky]

As for the rejection thing, some rejections sting more than others. I mentioned on another post that I went through a phase at 23 where I'd ask total strangers for sex (and got rejected every time). Those rejections, while I didn't necessarily like the rejection, only stang slightly (as I had no reason to believe these total strangers I had never said a word to before, and never got any IOIs from, were into me)

What was the point of asking if you knew they were not into you? Were you following the advice of some PUA "guru"?

 

[BPH]

Per my stats, I've made a little less than 2 thousand posts. Many members have made way more posts.

All your topics read the same; almost every thread is more than 5 pages long despite your question often being answered in the first few responses. You spend all day replying to each individual post you get instead of doing literally anything else to improve the situations you're constantly complaining about. Whether they're your fault or not, spending all day arguing your points on a forum isn't helping you fix them.

I recently gave advice, however, about a rare scenario I am in a position to give advice on. A 25 year old poster made a thread about being into 30-40 year old gals (and was wondering how a man his age could increase his odds with a woman that age)

I shared my field report from when my 23 year old self managed to get a 35 year old woman's number at a mini mart. Yeah, the field report is 10 years old. I really don't see why the fact the field report is old matters. The field report was relevant to the thread (I was around the age he currently is; the woman was in the age range he's interested in)

The fact that your field report is 10 years old makes it irrelevant - so much has changed in 10 years. If we had guys writing field reports every time they got some girl's number that's all this forum would be.

I seemed to recall you speaking highly of my looks on a past post. After a quick search, I was able to find the post:

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...ell-us-when-they-want-sex.279290/post-3058418

On the post I linked from September 2023, you said (about me):

"He’s trim, has facial symmetry, a good nose & eyes. He’s not going grace the cover of Men’s Health but he’s certainly above average looking."

That quote would suggest the gap between my looks and your husband's looks isn't as large as you're making it sound on today's post.

As for a killer smile, I've had a female coworker comment on my smile.

This is kinda weird dude. You recall a comment she made almost a year and a half ago calling you "above average" in response to her saying you're nowhere near her husband looks-wise AND you went and dug it up to link it.

And this is all because she said you need to go to the gym, which you do.

I know you have some autism or whatever, but take a step back and look at your behavior and try to see how some of the stuff you say and do comes across to people, especially these women you want to impress.

Agreed. The idea that one should go out and get rejected a thousand times and that it would somehow make him more confident is absolutely nuts, just like most PUA advice. Anyone who has ever played sports knows that you gain confidence from your wins, not from your losses.

I want to briefly disagree with this point because it's exactly what I did. You shouldn't "enjoy" getting rejected, but you should expose yourself to it enough that you don't fear it. The idea is to get a lot of reps in so that when you're shot down you can understand why and avoid making that mistake in the future.

Do this enough times and you'll make very few mistakes, leading to better interactions.

 

[BeExcellent]

I seemed to recall you speaking highly of my looks on a past post. After a quick search, I was able to find the post:

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...ell-us-when-they-want-sex.279290/post-3058418

On the post I linked from September 2023, you said (about me):

"He’s trim, has facial symmetry, a good nose & eyes. He’s not going grace the cover of Men’s Health but he’s certainly above average looking."

That quote would suggest the gap between my looks and your husband's looks isn't as large as you're making it sound on today's post.

As for a killer smile, I've had a female coworker comment on my smile.

He would not be on Men's Health cover because his body is not shredded like the cover guys on those fitness magazines. Men's Health has very shredded fitness models who have some bulk. He is more sleek, less bulk, but defined enough that a fashion editor would put him in a print ad or a cologne ad or on a runway in Milan in a heartbeat.

So yeah, his looks are model good looking. Period.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

In other words, I'm destined to fail...thanks to a condition that's beyond my control.

This is what many undersexed dudes believe today.

And they make posts in places like this seeking validation.

 

[Vanderdonck]

There's a cafe in my office building. On Monday, a female cafe employee did what could be viewed as a flirt session with me.

She talked about my hair an awful lot. She asked if I dyed my hair, she said my hair looks good, she said she likes my haircut, she said my hair looks good a 2nd time.

After the 2nd time she said my hair looks good, I said "You look good too."

She said "Thank you."

Then today, I ran into her for the first time since our flirt session. She was back to business as usual today. She only did the basic customer service stuff. No side comments or flirting. And no, it's not that there was a line today. I was the only customer in there.

What should I make of her behavior?

(To give you an idea of her looks, she's a busty Latina. I'd estimate she's early 20s. And even if she's older than early 20s, I'd say the odds are close to 100% she's below 30)

Nobody owes you a perfect interaction every time. People are subject to moods, events, physical well being, and a whole lot of other variables.

I haven't read the whole thread so maybe you came to this conclusion but I'm just putting it out there for people. When a girl is flirty once a lot of guys start telling themselves stories and casting narratives on the girl.

 

[GoodMan32]

Agreed. The idea that one should go out and get rejected a thousand times and that it would somehow make him more confident is absolutely nuts, just like most PUA advice. Anyone who has ever played sports knows that you gain confidence from your wins, not from your losses.

Yeah.

As for the idea that you can learn from your failures, that can be true to some degree. But when you continue to fail and fail, that's different.

What was the point of asking if you knew they were not into you? Were you following the advice of some PUA "guru"?

What I said on that post was I had no reason to think they were into me. That's different than saying I knew for a fact they weren't into me.

Being a socially stunted autist, my 23 year old self didn't necessarily see anything wrong with asking total strangers for sex (and even though, in retrospect, I can see that asking total strangers you've never said a word to for sex is a surefire way to get rejected 100% of the time, my 23 year old self thought there was a chance they might say yeah)

In other words, my mentality was "OK, since I have no reason to think they're into me, I at least won't feel like an idiot if they turn out to be uninterested. But I won't know for a fact whether they're into me until I ask. It's worth asking"

In addition to my ASD, it's possible the advice of pickup artists played a role in why I did what I did. I remember discovering pickup artists online shortly before.