"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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The Complexity of Kindness: Mature Man POV

EyeOnThePrize

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I've noticed that sometimes I'll think I'm being unconditional in my actions but then feel resentment after the fact. It's easy to preach these tenants but in the moment my ego can subconsciously hide my true feelings from myself, hinting at deeper personal issues.

It's insidious and slippery. It can start with something as simple as sending a kind text. From what I can tell it comes from being thrown off center by a beautiful, kind, and affectionate woman. Almost like a primal sense of urgency is triggered.

When centered, my actions are so measured that even when I feel resentment I course correct instantly by withdrawing until I'm coming from abundance again. If it keeps happening and I keep having to kindly withdraw attention then it's simple incompatibility, and that might mean that I'm simply not mentally and emotionally available for this person, despite wanting to be.

It can be a hard pill to swallow, but remaining principled and self assured should always remain more important than trying to keep a woman around, even if that means pushing her away repeatedly and realizing you might not be ready for her. I guess what I'm describing is the implementation of self confidence.

If you're not centered, you can't possibly be unconditionally kind. Trust the process of staying true to yourself, even if it ends up pushing beautiful women out of your life.

The best women will sense this withdrawal and respond with respect and admiration. The others will naturally filter themselves out. Of course this means the best will lose respect if you deviate ; )
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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jhonny9546

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I don’t like them either.
So you don't like youself?
I've noticed that sometimes I'll think I'm being unconditional in my actions but then feel resentment after the fact. It's easy to preach these tenants but in the moment my ego can subconsciously hide my true feelings from myself, hinting at deeper personal issues.

It's insidious and slippery. It can start with something as simple as sending a kind text. From what I can tell it comes from being thrown off center by a beautiful, kind, and affectionate woman. Almost like a primal sense of urgency is triggered.

When centered, my actions are so measured that even when I feel resentment I course correct instantly by withdrawing until I'm coming from abundance again. If it keeps happening and I keep having to kindly withdraw attention then it's simple incompatibility, and that might mean that I'm simply not mentally and emotionally available for this person, despite wanting to be.

It can be a hard pill to swallow, but remaining principled and self assured should always remain more important than trying to keep a woman around, even if that means pushing her away repeatedly and realizing you might not be ready for her. I guess what I'm describing is the implementation of self confidence.

If you're not centered, you can't possibly be unconditionally kind. Trust the process of staying true to yourself, even if it ends up pushing beautiful women out of your life.

The best women will sense this withdrawal and respond with respect and admiration. The others will naturally filter themselves out. Of course this means the best will lose respect if you deviate ; )
I've tried to translate it, and understand, but I still have issues!
Would you like to explain it more easly with fewer words? Or which is the moral of your post? Thanks
 

Manure Spherian

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So you don't like youself?
I didn’t word my sentence properly. I meant to say I don’t care about women who don’t like kind men.
 

justaroundthecorner

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Not sure about the kindness thing. I think it is too often mixed with naivety (from observer side).

It is important to be kind to the persons that are or were important for your life - I am still kind to my grandmother even if she does not know who I am anymore. Regarding rest of the ppl - it really depends on who they are and what they want. Wish I had that attitude since when I was a teenager. Life would be much more simple.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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?
You mean tenets?
Posting from mobile will do that, yes tenets.

So you don't like youself?

I've tried to translate it, and understand, but I still have issues!
Would you like to explain it more easly with fewer words? Or which is the moral of your post? Thanks
Ask more specific questions and I'll have better answers. Tldr, unconditional kindness is like a muscle that's developed but never perfected. Hard to obtain, easy to lose.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Bible_Belt

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When you send positive energy out into your world, positive energy comes back to you. It's the same with negative energy. Every world religion preaches this idea, it's not a secret.
 

jhonny9546

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When you send positive energy out into your world, positive energy comes back to you. It's the same with negative energy. Every world religion preaches this idea, it's not a secret.
This sound like people would target you as the nice guy
 

BaronOfHair

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This sound like people would target you as the nice guy
Thus it's advisable to carry a hatchet underneath your trench coat, and periodically behead someone in public, while shouting: "Death to The United States, Israel, and all the enemies of Islam"... Doing so makes clear that you're NOT a nice guy
 
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