Accepting a girl's feelings

[Hoodie]

I think what the OP is saying (@Hoodie correct me if I'm wrong) is that when a woman is not into you (which it sounds like he gets) and rejects you, take it with a pinch of salt and don't act butt hurt.

Ignoring the message = butt hurt
Snarky comeback with the attitude "don't waste my time" = butt hurt.

He knew it was an excuse, he knows it's doubtful he will ever hear from her, he stated that. He doesn't care. It doesn't matter.

However, his response was pollite and showed zero emotion. Which suggests (at least to me) he has other options and could care less about this one particular girl.

That said, women's feelings are fluid and always changing so its not out of the realm of possibility that after receiving such a non-butt hurt response and after some time, she may reach out.

He left the door open.

If she tries to reopen it, it's up to HIM whether to allow her in.

Just my read on it.

Yeah, my whole point was exactly that: Don't argue with what they feel like or act butt hurt as you say.
Because there is no reason to burn bridges.
If you instantly make your own assumptions "Oh, she's ****ing someone else." "Oh, she's not attracted to me".
Then you might act salty towards her.
Then you definitely won't see her again.

I listened to what she said, made no more assumptions and said "I understand, if you change your mind let me know"

And then I don't text her anymore and if she reaches out to me again in the future, perhaps she changed her mind.

What's so bad about that?

 

[Sega Genesis]

Yeah, my whole point was exactly that: Don't argue with what they feel like or act butt hurt as you say.
Because there is no reason to burn bridges.
If you instantly make your own assumptions "Oh, she's ****ing someone else." "Oh, she's not attracted to me".
Then you might act salty towards her.
Then you definitely won't she her again.

I listened to what she said, made no more assumptions and said "I understand, if you change your mind let me know"

And then I don't text her anymore and if she reaches out to me again in the future, perhaps she changed her mind.

What's so bad about that?

Nothing.

Contrary to what you did, I have had men bombard me with harassing messages after being rejected (kindly!). Unable to control their emotions, and lashing out.

Had one guy who approached me in the Ralph's grocery store parking lot go totally off on me for not wanting to engage with him. Literally screaming at me! In the middle of the parking lot! Lol

Rude, insulting, you wasted my time messages immediately went to trash and confirmed for me I dodged a bullet.

You did the right thing imo.

It's wise to always be gracious, show zero reaction and emotion, leave the door open and continue pursuing other options.

 

[Hoodie]

Nothing.

Contrary to what you did, I have had men bombard me with harassing messages after being rejected (kindly!). Unable to control their emotions, and lashing out.

Had one guy who approached me in the Ralph's grocery store parking lot go totally off on me for not wanting to engage with him. Literally screaming at me! In the middle of the parking lot! Lol

Rude, insulting, you wasted my time messages immediately went to trash and confirmed for me I dodged a bullet.

You did the right thing imo.

It's wise to always be gracious, show zero reaction and emotion, leave the door open and continue pursuing other options.

Thanks for giving me a more balanced response.

I agree with what everyone else said, to not put more effort and attention into her unless she reaches out to me.

But to put it this way, regarding the assumptions:

If she said what everyone else are assuming and what I'm "missing out on": "I'm not interested in you, I want to **** chad instead"

My answer would still be the same: "I understand, let me know if you change your mind."

lol

 

[The Duke]

And if she reaches out to me again?

She likely won't, but if she does you stack the deck against her. Make it very difficult. Ask her if the drinks will be on her. Set the sexual tone early. Make it all about you. Respect yourself and make her earn it. She will have to show how interested she really is if you make it difficult for her.

I've done this twice with two girls.

Girl A got real flakey when I tried to set up a date and cancelled a few hours before once I did. A few weeks later I get a text from her and tell her she can buy me drinks at my favorite place. She agreed. We end up at a bar and have good conversation, but she wasn't as hot as her pics. We ended up having sehx at my house and I never talked to her again. Her flakey behavior and misrepresentation of her looks pissed me off. The dumb biatch shouldn't have played games. Play silly games when stupid prizes. I gave her the ole Pump and Dump prize!

Girl B was an ex. She came sniffing around and wanted to go out and talk, so I had her come pick me up at my house and take me to my favorite restaurant and made her pay for it. I told her the ball was in her court and it was up to her to impress me. I was reminded on that date why it wasn't a good idea to be with her.

Women are notorious for soaking up all the free attention they can get in an attempt to validate their worthiness. When their attention tank is running low they will reach out and see if you will put some free gas in it. They lead men on just enough to keep him on the line so they can get their free hit of dopamine when reaches out.

A woman that is truly into you will go out of her way to meet so you don't get away. Thats really the only kind worth entertaining.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

She wanted what all women want, and you already gave it to her, so why would she need to date with you?

Alternative take:

Now, this would make you question:
Why was she on a dating app and why did she give me snapchat details after matching with me if she wasn't ready to meet and didn't focus on dating?

Because attention is to women what oxygen is to men.

 

[Agamemnon43]

Yet, the whole point of your thread is looking for confirmation for your quantum of hope that she will reach out to you first and throw herself in your arms saying " I made a huge mistake, forgive me *__* "

 

[Vanderdonck]

Women People live moment to moment and there are a thousand reasons why she might not want to meet that have nothing to do with me. It's barely a blip on the radar for me.

 

[DreamAgain]

A better option came through (in her mind), just roll with the punches and move on to the next one.

If she is particularly hot and you want to smash, then just leave a message like you did "Np, well let me know if things change". Now she is reduced to plate status if you ever hook up with her.

 

[Divorced w 3]

not argue or discuss it. Just accept how she feels,

I mean this nicely -

she isn’t interested- so accepting it is leaving her alone and let the next move (if ever) be hers - it’s called respect - if you ever ask her again, and she hasn’t reached out to you prior, you’re not doing what you claim to be doing.

I am not saying this is easy. There really are other women out there that are going to be compatible with you - she doesn’t have to be it. It’s not a reflection of you or any loss to strike out once every now and then.

It couldn’t be further from the truth, there’s a big world out there, you’re going to have this happen a lot.

 

[Jor-El]

I started a thread on this very topic a while ago, cant remember the title but along the lines of "what are their excuses for really saying,thanks but no thanks" there was some good uns. Iv had "il let you know" Aye,ul let me know,right,ok!