humiliating yourself at social events

[GoodMan32]

Talk about Social Events. I'm attending my cousin's Wedding on Sunday. I'm just found $ 100 in my wallet to give to them as a wedding gift. Do you know how that $ 100 was in my wallet? Well I had it there since late September with the intent of potentially using that to visit an escort (ie ensure I have an option to visit one even though I choose not to go due to religious reasons). Now it's going to go there instead. If I didn't think about that, then the money would have gone somewhere else and I would have no wedding gift at all as it would be hard to withdraw $ 100 from my own account when you are broke.

However, if you know that was money that would have potentially put my soul at risk of damnation into some lustful vice (ie and potentially catching some demons which may have messed up my ability to do my job if a repeat of December/2014 happened again), and now I'm using it for a good purpsose, it actually feels great.

Hope I meet someone there too. Hey, I'm doing this for your @GoodMan32. If you are not going to do something (or have the opportunity to get out there), then I am. Hope this goes somewhere, in terms of meeting someone, rather then niceties and stuffing my guts with food and jetting out of there when it comes dance time.

I hate weddings. Haven't been to one in close to 20 years.

Haven't been invited to one in 10 years for that matter (I had a reason of why I really couldn't have gone to the one 10 years ago)

 

[BaronOfHair]

I hate weddings. Haven't been to one in close to 20 years

There's a goal for the upcoming year: Attend 4 wedding and a funeral during '25

 

[BaronOfHair]

I'm a professional mourner

As I've been since '03, when Elisha Cuthbert took the lead in The Girl Next Door, yet didn't really reveal the goods

 

[corrector]

I hate weddings. Haven't been to one in close to 20 years.

Haven't been invited to one in 10 years for that matter (I had a reason of why I really couldn't have gone to the one 10 years ago)

Yeah. This one is starting in 2 hours. I am going by myself. I am beginning to feel it now.

 

[GoodMan32]

Yeah. This one is starting in 2 hours. I am going by myself. I am beginning to feel it now.

My condolences that you're stuck going to the wedding.

In my case, I think my disdain for weddings is part of my greater disdain for large social events in general.

 

[SW15]

I hate weddings.

Weddings are a bit of a sore spot with me. I think going to weddings is a waste of time.

Weddings have changed for the Millennial generation and likely into Gen Z now. The last of my Millennial friends got married in 2023. 2024 was the first time in a long time that there weren't any weddings among anyone I know.

The biggest change is that people get married much later in life now. At 2010 and later weddings, the typical 27-33 year old wedding attendee is coming to the wedding with their significant other. A decline in marriage rates does not equate into a decline in couplehood.

My closest friend got married in 2017 and there were 100+ attendees. How many unattached women under 40 attended that wedding? 0. The marrying couple were 28 and 29 at the time of the wedding, meaning their social circle of 27-33 year olds were all in various stages of committed couplehood. There would be 0 single women looking for a man. Few unattached men showed up because the unattached men knew that there would be 0 unattached women showing up. That would have been a destination wedding for me. Some other weddings in my social circle were similar to that in terms of unattached women.

In general, weddings usually are not a good place for pickup. Most weddings are not going to result in you getting either same night sex or even getting a first date after the wedding.

I'll attend a wedding if I think I have a good chance of getting laid at the reception after. If I don't think there's a good chance of me getting laid from my attendance at the reception, I would prefer to stay home. If I have an exclusive girlfriend at the time I need to RSVP for a wedding, I'd rather spend time doing many other things with a girlfriend than attending a wedding.

In 2023, I was not invited to a wedding or not notified about my non-invitation to a wedding until the day before the wedding. I don't think it was any major loss that I wasn't present at that wedding. I didn't talk to my friend for 4 months after the wedding. 4 months after the wedding, we got together and talked and put it behind us. I was upset about my non-notification until the day before more so than not being invited or not actually going. I had figured the wedding had been called off because I never received an invitation. Not going to a wedding that Saturday afternoon/evening in 2023 was a bit of a relief. I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it that much and would have preferred to have been elsewhere. That's why this was an easier issue to resolve with my friend and put it behind us.

 

[Mike32ct]

Yeah. This one is starting in 2 hours. I am going by myself. I am beginning to feel it now.

Just enjoy the food and music and try to have a good time. Don’t have any expectations. Hopefully you are at a table where you know somebody.

Don’t worry about the dancing part. Only the couple of honor, a few established couples, and some groups of women dance at these. Most people stay at their tables and drink.

Weddings are a bit of a sore spot with me. I think going to weddings is a waste of time.

In general, weddings usually are not a good place for pickup. Most weddings are not going to result in you getting either same night sex or even getting a first date after the wedding.

I can understand that. Years ago, I went alone to a buddy’s wedding. It was kind of depressing actually. Back then, I believed in that very outdated idea that weddings are a good place to meet someone. They aren’t.

Then two years ago I went to another wedding because a female friend invited me. I figured I might do better that time at meeting someone due to the social proof (rather than going alone). Not really. Everybody at the table wanted to talk to her instead of me lol. The only one friendly to me was bride lady.

 

[GoodMan32]

Weddings are a bit of a sore spot with me. I think going to weddings is a waste of time.

Weddings have changed for the Millennial generation and likely into Gen Z now. The last of my Millennial friends got married in 2023. 2024 was the first time in a long time that there weren't any weddings among anyone I know.

The biggest change is that people get married much later in life now. At 2010 and later weddings, the typical 27-33 year old wedding attendee is coming to the wedding with their significant other. A decline in marriage rates does not equate into a decline in couplehood.

My closest friend got married in 2017 and there were 100+ attendees. How many unattached women under 40 attended that wedding? 0. The marrying couple were 28 and 29 at the time of the wedding, meaning their social circle of 27-33 year olds were all in various stages of committed couplehood. There would be 0 single women looking for a man. Few unattached men showed up because the unattached men knew that there would be 0 unattached women showing up. That would have been a destination wedding for me. Some other weddings in my social circle were similar to that in terms of unattached women.

In general, weddings usually are not a good place for pickup. Most weddings are not going to result in you getting either same night sex or even getting a first date after the wedding.

I'll attend a wedding if I think I have a good chance of getting laid at the reception after. If I don't think there's a good chance of me getting laid from my attendance at the reception, I would prefer to stay home. If I have an exclusive girlfriend at the time I need to RSVP for a wedding, I'd rather spend time doing many other things with a girlfriend than attending a wedding.

In 2023, I was not invited to a wedding or not notified about my non-invitation to a wedding until the day before the wedding. I don't think it was any major loss that I wasn't present at that wedding. I didn't talk to my friend for 4 months after the wedding. 4 months after the wedding, we got together and talked and put it behind us. I was upset about my non-notification until the day before more so than not being invited or not actually going. I had figured the wedding had been called off because I never received an invitation. Not going to a wedding that Saturday afternoon/evening in 2023 was a bit of a relief. I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it that much and would have preferred to have been elsewhere. That's why this was an easier issue to resolve with my friend and put it behind us.

The last time I attended a wedding, I was 14 (so I obviously wasn't looking to get laid at weddings)

Before you mentioned the topic on your post, I hadn't even thought of that (the possibility of a man getting laid by a woman he meets at a wedding). If I were to attend a wedding at my current age, I don't think I'd get laid. One, you pointed out the fact there will likely be few to no single broads. Two, even in college, I had to rely on tech methods to get laid (a man who had to rely on tech methods to get laid in college likely won't do well with the ladies at a wedding, even if there are single broads at the wedding)

 

[SW15]

Before you mentioned the topic on your post, I hadn't even thought of that (the possibility of a man getting laid by a woman he meets at a wedding).

The classic movie "Wedding Crashers" (2005 release date) was made about getting laid at wedding receptions. I made a thread about that movie on this forum in 2021. People have been thinking about getting laid at wedding receptions for a long time.

"Wedding Crashers" Would Never Happen in Real Life

The 2005 movie "Wedding Crashers" could never happen at weddings in from 2010-present. In fact, I would say that it was far fetched and detached from reality even in 2005. The main reason that "Wedding Crashers" could never happen 2010-present is that people get married much later in life now...

www.sosuave.net

If I were to attend a wedding at my current age, I don't think I'd get laid.

You would be extremely unlikely to get laid.

One, you pointed out the fact there will likely be few to no single broads. Two, even in college, I had to rely on tech methods to get laid (a man who had to rely on tech methods to get laid in college likely won't do well with the ladies at a wedding, even if there are single broads at the wedding)

Problem #1 is the biggest problem that prevents most people from getting laid at weddings.

Some people do manage to create romance at wedding receptions. I have survey data from 2018 about wedding reception romance. It's very surface level. Anyone who has ever been invited to a wedding would see right through a lot of this data when reading the article.

Yes, Your Guests are TOTALLY Hooking Up at Your Wedding

All the juicy details on those wedding hookups. Your single friends are going to want to read this.

www.weddingwire.com

Wedding receptions can work for same night sex when the marrying couple is on the younger side (probably under 25-26 max) and/or has a social circle with a fair number of unattached people. That's not applicable for a lot of weddings these days.

Almost all the weddings I've been invited to occurred from 2010-2019, and there was a couple of laggard weddings from 2020-2023 that I was aware of. In this thread, I mentioned a 2017 wedding I was invited to with 0 unattached people. In the same social circle, there was a 2023 laggard wedding that I wasn't invited to and wasn't notified until the last minute. The 2023 laggard wedding was likely to have had no unattached people at it either.

With some social skill, a man can figure it what his odds of getting laid at a wedding reception are before the RSVP card is due and adjust his expectations accordingly. I was always able to figure that out.

 

[GoodMan32]

The classic movie "Wedding Crashers" (2005 release date) was made about getting laid at wedding receptions. I made a thread about that movie on this forum in 2021. People have been thinking about getting laid at wedding receptions for a long time.

"Wedding Crashers" Would Never Happen in Real Life

The 2005 movie "Wedding Crashers" could never happen at weddings in from 2010-present. In fact, I would say that it was far fetched and detached from reality even in 2005. The main reason that "Wedding Crashers" could never happen 2010-present is that people get married much later in life now...

www.sosuave.net

You would be extremely unlikely to get laid.



Problem #1 is the biggest problem that prevents most people from getting laid at weddings.

Some people do manage to create romance at wedding receptions. I have survey data from 2018 about wedding reception romance. It's very surface level. Anyone who has ever been invited to a wedding would see right through a lot of this data when reading the article.

Yes, Your Guests are TOTALLY Hooking Up at Your Wedding

All the juicy details on those wedding hookups. Your single friends are going to want to read this.

www.weddingwire.com

Wedding receptions can work for same night sex when the marrying couple is on the younger side (probably under 25-26 max) and/or has a social circle with a fair number of unattached people. That's not applicable for a lot of weddings these days.

Almost all the weddings I've been invited to occurred from 2010-2019, and there was a couple of laggard weddings from 2020-2023 that I was aware of. In this thread, I mentioned a 2017 wedding I was invited to with 0 unattached people. In the same social circle, there was a 2023 laggard wedding that I wasn't invited to and wasn't notified until the last minute. The 2023 laggard wedding was likely to have had no unattached people at it either.

With some social skill, a man can figure it what his odds of getting laid at a wedding reception are before the RSVP card is due and adjust his expectations accordingly. I was always able to figure that out.

At the last wedding I went to (when I was 14), I was seated at a table with various middle schoolers/high schoolers who knew the bride and groom in some way. I remember one high school girl and one high school guy at the table acting flirtatious with each other (I wanna say he was a sophomore and she was either a sophomore or junior; I don't 100% remember, with how long ago we're talking about)

My educated guess is there was probably no sex between those 2 high schoolers. The fact they'd have to sneak around behind parents' backs would complicate wedding/post-wedding sex at that age.

As for me, I was even more socially awkward then than I am now (and I was ticked off I was dragged to the wedding in the first place). I guarantee the girl I just mentioned (who, as far as I recall, was the only girl at the table) had no interest in me.

 

[SW15]

At the last wedding I went to (when I was 14), I was seated at a table with various middle schoolers/high schoolers who knew the bride and groom in some way.

In the 2010s-2020s, the trend of a child-free wedding has gotten common. You are referencing a 2005 wedding, before this trend really took off.

A December 2023 New York Times article mentions this child-free wedding trend.

In a story about this phenomenon in December 2023 for New York Times, Hilary Sheinbaum includes this astounding statistic: “Of 4,000 couples with 2024 wedding dates, 79.5 percent are in favor of kid-free weddings.”

The Trouble with Child-Free Weddings | Common Good Magazine

Marriage is necessarily about family. So why can’t kids come to an overwhelming percentage of ceremonies?

commongoodmag.com

 

[GoodMan32]

In the 2010s-2020s, the trend of a child-free wedding has gotten common. You are referencing a 2005 wedding, before this trend really took off.

A December 2023 New York Times article mentions this child-free wedding trend.

The Trouble with Child-Free Weddings | Common Good Magazine

Marriage is necessarily about family. So why can’t kids come to an overwhelming percentage of ceremonies?

commongoodmag.com

Skimmed the article.

From what I skimmed, the main reasons for the childfree wedding trend are:

-Adults getting drunk without kids being present
-Bridezillas wanting everything to be perfect (Which means no disruptive kids. As the article points out, however, adults are capable of being extremely disruptive too...especially when extremely intoxicated)

 

[GoodMan32]

We can talk about whether men can score at weddings, but @GoodMan32 isn't able to approach women anyway, so why even this thread? It's not like his awkwardness at social events is going to change as long as he cannot talk with women.

The thread isn't just about weddings.

I'm 33, not a teen anymore. I can at least talk to broads platonically now.

It's more my unfamiliarity with social norms (and my difficulty relating to others) that gets in the way at social events at my current age.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I'm 33, not a teen anymore

Not physically perhaps

 

[GoodMan32]

Not physically perhaps

I'm an interesting character. In some ways, I'm (on the inside) a teen who never grew up.

Yet in other ways, I'm an old man on the inside.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I'm an interesting character. In some ways, I'm (on the inside) a teen who never grew up.

Yet in other ways, I'm an old man on the inside.

Like all of us humans, you're a complex blend of elements, some of which war with one another occasionally. You're really not that special or interesting, and this is something to be grateful for, GM.... The difficulties you currently face are ones which billions of men throughout the history of our species have overcome

 

[GoodMan32]

Collecting embarrassing quirks and fetishes don't make you 'interesting'. There's nothing 'intriguing' about you, even if you wish that to be so. You never grew up. Not just inside, you're still living on your parents pocket. What's more, without their support you would 'die' as you say so dramatically. So you cannot even take care of yourself. You are immature, playing that you're an adult.


You're not 'old' because you like wrinkled prunes, you're just another weird autistic parasitic perv with too many social anxieties to do more that slobber after post-menopausal women, hoping he can watch them pee without accidentally getting them pregnant.

Yeah, financially I'm not an adult (Then again, an enormous percentage of men on the spectrum aren't "adults" financially. As I've said before, the fact I'm not able to fully take care of myself financially isn't a character flaw on my part; it's to be expected that a man on the spectrum, no matter how old he gets, will never be able to fully take care of himself financially)

I still do adult stuff, such as:

• Live on my own (the severely autistic wouldn't be able to live by themselves, even if they got financial assistance from parents...because the severely autistic are incapable of doing a lot of daily tasks)
• Hold a full time job (something a lot of autists are unable to do)
• Get on an airplane and travel to places on my own
• Have sex

I'm an "old man" in the sense that I have hardly any social life (and the fact that even as a teen, I had no interest in the party lifestyle)

I have a neighbor in his 90s. My social life is more comparable to his than to the social lives of the other 30 and 40 somethings in my building.

 

[SW15]

From what I skimmed, the main reasons for the childfree wedding trend are:

-Adults getting drunk without kids being present
-Bridezillas wanting everything to be perfect (Which means no disruptive kids. As the article points out, however, adults are capable of being extremely disruptive too...especially when extremely intoxicated)

I wouldn't call all of them Bridezillas.

The cost of weddings has gotten really bad in the 2010s-2020s. I don't blame the women for wanting their wedding day to be perfect given some of the extravagant costs of recent times.

Also, consider who has been getting married in the 2010s-2020s. That's been mainly Millennials. Millennial women tend to think of themselves as special little snowflakes entitled to the perfect day.

Gen Z women are starting to get to the age of marriages. It would be interesting to see how they'll be different.

 

[GoodMan32]

I wouldn't call all of them Bridezillas.

The cost of weddings has gotten really bad in the 2010s-2020s. I don't blame the women for wanting their wedding day to be perfect given some of the extravagant costs of recent times.

Also, consider who has been getting married in the 2010s-2020s. That's been mainly Millennials. Millennial women tend to think of themselves as special little snowflakes entitled to the perfect day.

Gen Z women are starting to get to the age of marriages. It would be interesting to see how they'll be different.

Since I have no desire to get married, I've never looked into costs. I'm going to take your word for it wedding costs have skyrocketed.

Still, the point (made in the article) stands: Extremely intoxicated adults are disruptive too.

Banning kids from a wedding isn't going to automatically ensure a perfect wedding.

Banning alcohol and children, on the other hand, is the best recipe for a perfect wedding.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Banning kids from a wedding isn't going to automatically ensure a perfect wedding

Yeah, the perfect wedding can only be ensured by

-Holding it at Castle Frey

-Putting Roose Bolton on the guest list

-Having the only child in attendance be one that's in utero, and not anticipating a late-term abortion

Bringing this conversation back to the topic at hand: There's yet more incentive to not sweat humiliation at a public event, wedding or otherwise...

Walking out of the place with the same number of holes you walked in with is a blessing we far too often take for granted