How do you guys avoid getting attached?

[itouchyou]

Back in college a friend of mine would smash the hottest women. This guy was 6'0'' 200lbs lean, had all the characteristics of an alpha.

He would **** women on first dates, even go after women with boyfriends, and he'd usually never have issues.

Somehow, he'd get with women like that, and never get attached. I can't comprehend it. These women had good personalities.

I can't comprehend it because now I'm facing the same scenarios and I'm having difficulty not being attached. Any advice?

Basically I find women that have great personalities, great jobs, etc, but I know they sleep around. Despite my intuition/logic telling me that these women aren't good for relationships, I can't help but like them.

Is it something where I need to get heartbroken or run through a lot more women so that I don't get as easily attached? Is it because I have scarcity mindset? I know my friend had all the options he ever wanted because he would cold approach, and he also had more personality/looks than anyone else, just absolutely zero fear, his abundance mentality must have been insane.

 

[holidayad_]

run through a lot more women so that I don't get as easily attached?

That's what has been working for me.

When you are running a rotation, you don't have time to get attached. And, depending on your goal, you might not want to get attached either...

 

[Gamisch]

That's what has been working for me.

When you are running a rotation, you don't have time to get attached. And, depending on your goal, you might not want to get attached either...

It's a bluepilled question. You gave the redpill answer.

 

[itouchyou]

It's a bluepilled question. You gave the redpill answer.

This guy didn't have a rotation though. We were roommates, I always knew who he was pursuing.

Granted, he accidentally made out with some girl and admitted it to his GF who he was planning on marrying - she cheated on him as a result, and broke up with him. It messed him up pretty badly, and thus, I think this sparked his desire to sleep around. It was a trauma response to his breakup. Is it possible that was why he was able to not get attached?

 

[Gamisch]

This guy didn't have a rotation though. We were roommates, I always knew who he was pursuing.

Granted, he accidentally made out with some girl and admitted it to his GF who he was planning on marrying - she cheated on him as a result, and broke up with him. It messed him up pretty badly, and thus, I think this sparked his desire to sleep around. It was a trauma response to his breakup. Is it possible that was why he was able to not get attached?

Ofcourse. We all meet that woman that will redpill the F out of us, as soon as we enter the dating game. I was 16 when I got my first hard lesson.

BUT, as I say, some, some men WANNA remain bluepilled despite seeing female nature in front of their own eyes...Or I'd say: some man simply fall back into them bluepilled selfs now and then.

He did exactly what you need to do; catch and release.Don't get Attached too quick. You sound like you would love to get attached to some of those women , and that's the difference.

I guess you gotta run through women to avoid getting attached or at least get used to (beautiful) women, and even that's a dangerous game...a hooker can make an emperor fall in love with her..such is life.

 

[Gamisch]

To clarify: you sound like you would actually want to be in (a ) relationship (s) now you find yourself in similar situations. And hey , that's oke imo..nothing wrong with wanting a stable gf ,one you can share memories with and build a life with.

You just gotta be think about whether the type of women you see actually are capable of being that woman..

If you REALLY don't wanna get attached you could also ditch them after seeing them for a limited amount of time. Once your D get attached..

 

[anonymous12345]

Granted, he accidentally made out with some girl and admitted it to his GF who he was planning on marrying - she cheated on him as a result, and broke up with him. It messed him up pretty badly, and thus, I think this sparked his desire to sleep around. It was a trauma response to his breakup. Is it possible that was why he was able to not get attached?

The question is if you want to be a shrink for successful men, or be one yourself.

 

[The Duke]

Study attachment theories from any psychology resource. We all have different types and change throughout our lives.

Also some guys are hunters, its about the thrill of the hunt and conquering the girl. After that its mission accomplished and he is looking for another one.

The more experiences you have with women ,the easier it is to keep your head on straight and not go off the deep end. They are what they are.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Is it something where I need to get heartbroken or run through a lot more women so that I don't get as easily attached?

I’ve recently noticed there is a bizarre masochistic streak amongst some posters here.

 

[itouchyou]

I’ve recently noticed there is a bizarre masochistic streak amongst some posters here.

What I suggested is not something I actually planned doing. I'm just theorizing as to how other people do it.

I think this poster below captured it well though:

Study attachment theories from any psychology resource. We all have different types and change throughout our lives.

Also some guys are hunters, its about the thrill of the hunt and conquering the girl. After that its mission accomplished and he is looking for another one.

The more experiences you have with women ,the easier it is to keep your head on straight and not go off the deep end. They are what they are.

Edit: I know these women are not good for me based on their behavior (promiscuity) but psychologically I am catching myself ignoring that and still liking these women because everything else about them is great.

 

[Marc_zeus]

Well i am not psychologist, but i think you have white knight syndrome to some extent. Think about it. If promiscuity is major red flag for you ( as it should be for every normal and sain guy ) then no metter how cute she is, how great sence of humor and charisma she has, how she's kind and warm around everyone around her, she is a slut in the first place. But you are probably thinking that maybe you can save her, she can change, you actually want her to change, after all, all her other qualities are those of your "perfect" girl. BUT remember one thing- once a slut always a slut !!!
You or anybody else cant change that or save her.

 

[Learning Curve]

Is it something where I need to get heartbroken or run through a lot more women so that I don't get as easily attached? Is it because I have scarcity mindset? I know my friend had all the options he ever wanted because he would cold approach, and he also had more personality/looks than anyone else, just absolutely zero fear, his abundance mentality must have been insane.

No you don't need to go heartbroken.

You need to have a PURPOSE in life. When you run your life to build an empire for your family and your loved ones you don't care about women. It's simple as that.

People don't get this. You have to feel it internally and believe it to achieve it.

Abundance does not come from you not caring about women beacuse you are forcing it. It comes from you don't giving a flying sh1t if she replies or not, or if she goes out with you or not because you have no TIME to deal with that kind of crap.

You approach, because this is your nature as a man, you create attraction, you bang, and onto the next one.

You wake up and you go through your daily life, making plans on how you will make an impact on this planet. This is the mentality and spirit of abundance. It does not come simply by forcing it, it comes by creating a meaningful life.

Get that to your head, and maybe you should shadow that friend you have and ask him why he has results. I'm sure 90% of the time this is the spirit people like him have.

Confidence, abundance, etc.

 

[Macadellic]

Get attached to your mission, goals, ambition, vision, and excellence.

 

[DreamAgain]

Back in college a friend of mine would smash the hottest women. This guy was 6'0'' 200lbs lean, had all the characteristics of an alpha.

He would **** women on first dates, even go after women with boyfriends, and he'd usually never have issues.

Somehow, he'd get with women like that, and never get attached. I can't comprehend it. These women had good personalities.

I can't comprehend it because now I'm facing the same scenarios and I'm having difficulty not being attached. Any advice?

Basically I find women that have great personalities, great jobs, etc, but I know they sleep around. Despite my intuition/logic telling me that these women aren't good for relationships, I can't help but like them.

Is it something where I need to get heartbroken or run through a lot more women so that I don't get as easily attached? Is it because I have scarcity mindset? I know my friend had all the options he ever wanted because he would cold approach, and he also had more personality/looks than anyone else, just absolutely zero fear, his abundance mentality must have been insane.

It's not that, he probably has narcissistic personality disorder or he might be a sociopath. These are not admirable qualities to have, be happy you are not like him.

 

[Chow Mein]

As Pook has said regarding your value and lifestyle

You’re a bird that women will always try to put into a cage.

Kill that desperation!

 

[BPH]

Have options.

 

[Bingo-Player]

"Expect the worst and hope for the best" springs to mind

You have to accept women are generally treacherous they can't help it , its enscripted into their DNA

Their Brought up in society to believe that they should behave like Disney princesses but then they grow up and start having attention from men , they start wanting to have sex a lot with lots of different men because its fun and she feels desired and excited

She knows deep down she's not a princess she's a naughty little wh0re who likes doing anal and fantasises about being fvcked by multiple men

So the man that recognises that darkness in her and accepts it for what it is , becomes detached from her which in turn makes her feel safe from judgement

The man that tries to treat her like the princess she's expected to be makes her feel scared.....

 

[BaronOfHair]

I can't comprehend it because now I'm facing the same scenarios and I'm having difficulty not being attached. Any advice?

Remember that your a guy, not a broad... Only the latter bond after sex

 

[corrector]

Is it because I have scarcity mindset?

Absolutely, as is the case with sub-8 guys such as yourself that doesn't have that many options as the chad/chadlites and therefore also have actual scarcity.

I know my friend had all the options he ever wanted because he would cold approach, and he also had more personality/looks than anyone else, just absolutely zero fear, his abundance mentality must have been insane.

He had zero fear because he had almost no rejection or anything that would spark a negative feedback loop. He sounds like a charasmatic Chad by the sounds of it. How do you have such a friend without feeling bad or miserable all the time by seeing the extreme raw difference in how good quality women are virtually throwing themselves on to him and making it easy for him if he does make a move while you have to settle with being "attached"? You must envy this guy for having such a pull.

But in a nutshell, it sucks for you since you are sub-8 and not in the same zone as your friend. But it also shows that even if you had a girlfriend with someone of these women, they sound like they would cheat on you with a guy like him in a heartbeat, lol! You would really want to be attached with a woman like that? At least make sure he is not in the same social circle to deal with the same women you are dealing with so it doesn't get as nasty.

I think you just have to come to terms that life sucks (ie in the ladies department) as a sub-8 (and even worst as a sub-5), you will get attached, and have a so what attitude about it. Hopefully you will be attached to the right woman that will add value to your life.

 

[corrector]

Have options.

That is very helpful.