Getting Rejected On First Date Kiss Closes = Move On?

[CornbreadFed]

I can't tell if you guys are ****ing kidding...



Right? Like if kissing on a first date is thirsty, then what's ****ing?

I really need to make mental notes from some of these replies as far as whose advice I should completely ignore.

If you do not kiss on the first date, then you are senile according to @BackInTheGame78

 

[BPH]

If you do not kiss on the first date, then you are senile according to @BackInTheGame78

Tell me you're trolling and don't actually think kissing on the first date is thirsty.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you do not kiss on the first date, then you are senile according to @BackInTheGame78

Are you trolling with this nonsense?

That's clearly not what I said. Do you need to use ChatGPT to comprehend what I wrote? Perhaps you could go put that in and ask the AI to simplify it for you. Maybe I used too many big words.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Are you trolling with this nonsense?

That's clearly not what I said. Do you need to use ChatGPT to comprehend what I wrote? Perhaps you could go put that in and ask the AI to simplify it for you. Maybe I used too many big words.

Please help me understand how not kissing on the first date is the one of the dumbest things you have ever read on this site?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Please help me understand how not kissing on the first date is the one of the dumbest things you have ever read on this site?

That's not what you said. You said it was "insane" to kiss someone on a first date.

And I will once again state that is one of the dumbest things I have ever heard on this site.

 

[BPH]

Kiss closing on a first date is insane.

Who let you cook?

 

[CornbreadFed]

That's not what you said. You said it was "insane" to kiss someone on a first date.

And I will once again state that is one of the dumbest things I have ever heard on this site.

Oh well in that wording that does sound dumb lol. I meant I do not go for the kiss on the first date. Of course, if the woman is down for it, I am not going to say no.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

If you basing whether or not to next her on the kiss close refusal you seem to have missed all the social cues leading up to that fail, which may not be a fail at all.

How has her responsiveness been since then? Or are you but hurt and haven't reached out? Has she reached out?

There is NO equation here. There never is.

What cues was she giving you before you tried to kiss her? Do you even know? Serious question.

I did not kiss my first husband on our first date. It wasn't the thing to do in that moment and there was electric tension (which of course carried forward as anticipation to the next interaction....)

This is a man who I married, had 3 kids with and sex on the daily if not more.....for 20 years!!! So the desire was there....it just wasn't the right moment (and don't ask because I cannot tell you why that was the case - it doesn't matter anyway).

Stop with the calculus y'all. Seriously.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Oh well in that wording that does sound dumb lol. I meant I do not go for the kiss on the first date. Of course, if the woman is down for it, I am not going to say no.

Yeah, and I agree that some guys do well with that method and it's fine not too.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Advice from the old lady:

If you basing whether or not to next her on the kiss close refusal you seem to have missed all the social cues leading up to that fail, which may not be a fail at all.

How has her responsiveness been since then? Or are you but hurt and haven't reached out? Has she reached out?

There is NO equation here. There never is.

What cues was she giving you before you tried to kiss her? Do you even know? Serious question.

I did not kiss my first husband on our first date. It wasn't the thing to do in that moment and there was electric tension (which of course carried forward as anticipation to the next interaction....)

This is a man who I married, had 3 kids with and sex on the daily if not more.....for 20 years!!! So the desire was there....it just wasn't the right moment (and don't ask because I cannot tell you why that was the case - it doesn't matter anyway).

Stop with the calculus y'all. Seriously.

The one test that has never failed me is touching her hair and saying something like "your hair looks so soft"...if she gives puppy dogs eyes or is receptive to it and seems to enjoy it, it's pretty much a safe bet she is down to be kissed...if she pulls back or has a less than good reaction to that likely a sign you probably should circle back at another time...

 

[BeExcellent]

That's smart @BackInTheGame78 because its a soft cue from you to see if she's receptive. Its an invitation in a way.

She has to indicate acceptance of that invitation and if she does (as you point out) voila, next you are kissing the girl.

These are the things where men fail. There are lots of ways to screw it up, however as you know, even from that point.

Let me search around and see if I can find a post I made some years ago about the skill involved in kissing, and what some awful types of kisses that will turn a woman right off.....

 

[CornbreadFed]

Yeah, and I agree that some guys do well with that method and it's fine not too.

I have only kiss closed one girl on a first date, but it was because she was my type and looked like my ex lol. She was a nut case though, so things did not fall through.

 

[BeExcellent]

The information I refer to is from a thread by @The Duke in 2016 called Independent Women.

In it I talk about two off putting types of men you need to avoid being when you as a man interact with women.

The Octopus and The Brute. Use the search function to pull up that thread and those discussions. And don't be either an octopus or a brute.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That's smart @BackInTheGame78 because its a soft cue from you to see if she's receptive. Its an invitation in a way.

She has to indicate acceptance of that invitation and if she does (as you point out) voila, next you are kissing the girl.

These are the things where men fail. There are lots of ways to screw it up, however as you know, even from that point.

Let me search around and see if I can find a post I made some years ago about the skill involved in kissing, and what some awful types of kisses that will turn a woman right off.....

Also something that is surprisingly effective for me(depending on location) is offering a girl a neck and shoulder rub...used to go to this one cool bar/restaurant that had booths in the corner and was dimly lit after 8pm and most women were all about it...

And after doing that for a while with them leaning back into you and giving you the opportunity to brush your lips against their ears and whisper things to them and run your hands further down, sometimes a lot more than that happened in that booth...

 

[TheGambino]

Got rejected on a first date kiss then she blowed my c0ck on the second on my couch.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Not this concrete at all. About half of my lifetime lays were women that didn’t kiss on the first date. Some women simply are not comfortable doing that with a virtual stranger.

Have to look at other behavior. Touching, conversation, body language, after date contact, etc etc.

 

[MatureDJ]

I certainly would lose some interest with a non-cheek-kiss, although I did have a gal that was very offish for a few weeks (but she kept calling me, so I stuck with it), and eventually I achieved coitus with her. As for the cheek-kiss, I like it as a tool to allow her to have the agency to move her head to make it a lip kiss.

 

[Gamisch]

If a woman is highly attracted to you there's room to " play with your food " as I described earlier today. Lets say 8/10 interest level and more.

The interesting thing to consider tho,is that when the interest level is lower, a kiss MIGHT raise her IL. I geuss it's situational, and not all women always consider you as boyfriend /ltr material .

Aka she might've even slept with you if you gave off less bf vibes .

Also depends on; how you met her( old or " real life,"), length of date , location, emotional investment before the first meeting, distance .

 

[Ottocinclus]

Hi everyone.

One thing I have been reflecting on has been how I've handled kclose rejections. I want to know whether my approach is correct:

It's mostly been my personal rule that the first date should always result in at least a kiss close with the girl.

The logic for me is simple if the girl has high interest level and attraction in you, she will be receptive to the kiss close.
(In my mind, high IL + attraction = compliance to intimate escalation)

On the opposite end, if she is only conditionally interested in you and has low interest, she will reject the kiss close.
(In my mind, rejection means that she isn't fully attracted or is playing games or has certain conditions that she seeks).

So generally I go for the kiss close on the first date and if the girl rejects me, I basically move on and don't pursue any further interaction.

But sometimes I wonder whether my approach is right. I've passed on many girls over the recent past because of first date kiss close rejection but I wonder whether I should be more open-minded and relaxed in my rule (am I being too myopic?)

I guess what I am asking is whether you guys think this is a good barometer in dating.

I can anticipate some may argue that sometimes it takes time to generate comfort and attraction for kiss close to happen but on the other hand, I can also anticipate the more RP of you (whom which I align more to) would argue that attraction can't be artificially created, they're either into you or not and anything else would be wasting time with lukewarm women.

What are your thoughts?

I kissed closed on the last two dates I've been on (one I did way more than kiss close LOL) and I never heard from them again. They never responded to my texts later.

 

[SW15]

The information I refer to is from a thread by @The Duke in 2016 called Independent Women.

In it I talk about two off putting types of men you need to avoid being when you as a man interact with women.

The Octopus and The Brute. Use the search function to pull up that thread and those discussions. And don't be either an octopus or a brute.

Found it so others don't have to make the search.

Independent Women

With regard to the Brute/Octopus comment.... A high value man KNOWS he is desirable. He has choices. He understands that creation of sexual tension is a delight when he means to seduce a woman. He knows that women's attraction is more complex and less linear than than a man's. He leaves no...

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