You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
No I'm incel. And I'm not a slut-shamer.Do you have a daughter? Curious.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Your descendants are dean's list people? Well - the equivalent is if she set her profile pic to other honor roll students.No. Because if my daughters were doing this I would consider this my fault.
My girls are dean's list students in college on scholarships, they are athletes and would never do anything stupid that would embarrass the family.
Dean's list... not likely. I was the first person on either side on my family to graduate from college, my brothers were the 2nd and 3rd, and NONE of us were Dean's list material. We all did okay, but none of us had GPAs to brag about.Your descendants are dean's list people? Well - the equivalent is if she set her profile pic to other honor roll students.
Can be profile picing to all the PhD students in her group. Doesn't have to be thug guys.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I'll use this photo as an example..I remember going to an abandoned factory, where I saw an old office picture of a woman at her desk surrounded by guy employees. And there was graffiti pointing to her that said "the hoe of the company." It's weird that whenever a girl has a pic of her surrounded by guys, even non-sexual, that people will interpret it that way.
I've been an anti-slutshamer since day 1. Even in elementary school...You're projecting. Clean your sh*t up.
Not the word, but the idea of women having multiple guy friendsYou knew what sluts are in elementary school?
Again, you're projecting. Clean your sh*t up.
I also support the idea of giving women big salaries than men. I have some distant relatives in my family where the wife makes a lot more than the husband. And their relationships still work out fine. Insecure men are a fall-back on society...My mom after graduating law school took a job in the federal government with OEO (now the NSA). It required business travel and was a male dominated field in the 1960s. She was very proud of a photo of her with her department colleagues around a large conference table. She was the sole woman. To her this meant she had the same qualifications as the men in suits (roughly 14 or so) that she worked with. She was proud of that photo as she saw it as being just as smart as the men.
My father felt it gave the wrong impression of her. He felt like many of you do. It’s sexist certainly. But my dad insisted she give up that job, and be a full time wife & mother if she was going to be his spouse.
Thusly my mother insisted myself and my sisters all get a college education and be self sufficient because she had contempt for my father having squelched her ambitions and intellectual ability. But his point was he didn’t want his wife/my mother perceived as a tart, and he was immovable in that.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Yes I agree. Reputation was very important to my father (to my mother and my whole family honestly), and my mother understood that even though she resented it.From his perspective - this is the only part that matters.
Reputation matters a lot for men. At the time I imagine this to have happened, I fully believe that other men your father worked with would be making those kinds of comments to him day in and day out. I wouldn't put up with it either.
But it had nothing to do with your mother, and she is the one who unfortunately held the cards for his reputation.
Will Smith was a lot cooler before his wife fvcked some dude half his age, then that same dude released an entire R&B album detailing what they did, and Will stayed married anyways. He only had to leave to save his reputation.
I am surprised my posts in that thread made such an impression on you that you recall it now, four months later, and considering that I have not been posting lately and don't intend on posting frequently from here on. I've only been browsing lately here and there. If I recall correctly I have been a poster here for less than a year and recently realized that perhaps at this stage of my life and considering my life aims, family and child-raising aims included, this forum doesn't suit me much and isn't what I thought it would be upon joining. Much of my views, conclusions, and observation also clash with others and I don't wish to engage in online insult matches or start e-beef with people unnecessarily.No I'm incel. And I'm not a slut-shamer.
Manure Spherian has a daughter and he's a slut-shamer. https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...ere-be-less-slut-shamers-in-the-world.279057/
If I recall correctly, you have some link with slut-shaming--the useful and justified "double standard" that feminists of both sexes make such a fuss over--and American republicanism, conservatism, and religion. I myself am not religious or a republican or a conservative and sexual regulation was in practice across the whole world for thousands of years considering in the past people were smarter and more astute than they are today and didn't want third parties, actually society at large, cleaning up other people's messes.Slut-shaming is also for Republicans, so.
Nearly all but one woman I know, most of them very pretty, who were constantly socializing with boys at young ages and onwards, are all divorced, including a drop-dead gorgeous alpha widow who was once married to a professional baseball player. And I don't mean normal amounts of socializing with both sexes that occurs in people's youth.being surrounded by guys
Spot on. And thanks for the tagA woman should not be entertaining attention from that many men. A picture does not do a justice to whether that woman wants those men around or not, but the impression stays the same.
Mothers of yesteryear used to teach their daughters not to accept drinks from men they did not plan to date. This extended to not going on dates with men they did not want to sleep with.
Amen. ^ Same here.Because if my daughters were doing this I would consider this my fault.
Well it depends. Is a daughter being a slut, to Tyrones and Joses, or is she being a slut to PhD grad students? My variable isn't who, but math. Just as female police officers that have kicked it with multiple guy police officers, or college professors.I see all the social pathologies and divorces (something with serious ramifications, particularly on children) that resulted. That's not to mention the stupid, coercive, and dangerous positions such girls as young as fourteen find themselves in when outnumbered by boys in some social situations, such as being coerced to service high and drunk boys in unsupervised homes of air headed negligent parents (and yes, I have other stories).
Since when are these mutually exclusive? I never knew all Phd's are lovely darlings with perfect behavior.Even though this thread is about profile pics, I'll slippery slope with others.
Well it depends. Is a daughter being a slut, to Tyrones and Joses, or is she being a slut to PhD grad students?
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.