News Article: She didn’t know she’d married a man on the autism spectrum. Neither did her hubby.

[indiff]

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/new...ctrum-disorder-asd-asperger-syndrome-14957564

On their first date, they bonded over their love of food, travelling and films, and she had a good feeling.

But after that date, it was as if he “didn’t know how to carry on to the next one”. They chatted through texts, but nothing seemed to be moving forward.

“I thought if he were interested in me, he’d show more interest. He was giving mixed signals. He was keeping a distance,” says Amy. “But I was hooked already.”

So is this guy a natural or what? Is not emotionally needy like most men are, giving just the right amount of attention. Sounds like he 'gets it'.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/new...ctrum-disorder-asd-asperger-syndrome-14957564



So is this guy a natural or what? Is not emotionally needy like most men are, giving just the right amount of attention. Sounds like he 'gets it'.

Give a guy good treatment and enough puzzy and he won't be needy.

 

[GoodMan32]

I read the article.

Here's one part of the article that really stood out: The woman said she found herself playing the role of the man.

I myself am on the spectrum. I have a recent thread on here about my date last weekend. It's already looking like nothing further will happen between us. I remember one guy on the thread said she probably lost interest because it sounds like she ended up getting stuck playing the role of the man. Maybe this is a thing when you date a guy on the spectrum (the woman ends up playing the role of the man)

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I read the article.

Here's one part of the article that really stood out: The woman said she found herself playing the role of the man.

I myself am on the spectrum. I have a recent thread on here about my date last weekend. It's already looking like nothing further will happen between us. I remember one guy on the thread said she probably lost interest because it sounds like she ended up getting stuck playing the role of the man. Maybe this is a thing when you date a guy on the spectrum (the woman ends up playing the role of the man)

To me that equates to communication issues which is very common

 

[BeExcellent]

The difficulty arises because needs are so different and perceptions are so different. The classic thing is this:

Woman: “You never tell me you love me….”

ASD Man (confused): “I already told you. It hasn’t changed. I don’t need to keep telling you…..”

Woman: “That hurts my feelings. I need to hear ‘I love you’”…….

ASD Man (frustrated by this illogical behavior): “You’re so insecure!”

See the disconnect? She needs/wants to affirmation of his love; he thinks he’s already declared it, no change has happened, what’s the big deal, why is she so needy? He misses the social necessity for affirmation and instead assigns the insecure label to her, and both people end up exasperated.

ASD people are self focused. They not only miss social cues, they have difficulty understanding that others have different needs and viewpoints and much misunderstanding arises from that inability to empathize with someone else.

And that disconnect happens constantly over big things and little things. The neurotypical partner ends up burdened with translating the world for the ASD partner, and this is not a light burden.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

The difficulty arises because needs are so different and perceptions are so different. The classic thing is this:

Woman: “You never tell me you love me….”

ASD Man (confused): “I already told you. It hasn’t changed. I don’t need to keep telling you…..”

Woman: “That hurts my feelings. I need to hear ‘I love you’”…….

ASD Man (frustrated by this illogical behavior): “You’re so insecure!”

See the disconnect? She needs/wants to affirmation of his love; he thinks he’s already declared it, no change has happened, what’s the big deal, why is she so needy? He misses the social necessity for affirmation and instead assigns the insecure label to her, and both people end up exasperated.

ASD people are self focused. They not only miss social cues, they have difficulty understanding that others have different needs and viewpoints and much misunderstanding arises from that inability to empathize with someone else.

And that disconnect happens constantly over big things and little things. The neurotypical partner ends up burdened with translating the world for the ASD partner, and this is not a light burden.

I feel so sorry for these autistic guys. It's really hard for them to get a romantic life to begin with and even in the rare event that it happens for them stuff like this goes on. They're really not made to do well the way the dating scene is now, are they?