How much is too much attention in an LTR?

[soulforge]

I generally give them 2 days a week of my time if it is an LTR. This is usually a Friday & Saturday night.

On the odd occasion if I'm kinda feeling horny/so is she, can always end up doing a mid week meet up too.

I keep hearing about not giving chicks too much time & attention as they will take it for granted & start playing games with you, this doesn't quite make sense to me.

How the hell do couples living together get around this?

What do you think is a safe bet for time spent together, if it's an LTR but not living together?

 

[The Duke]

Somewhere between 2-3 days a week. Never stop going out with your buddies and keep doing your hobbies.

When I lived together with an LTR, I always spent less quality time together than when living apart. It probably wasn't a good thing.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Once a week. You can see her more than that as a form of rewarding good behavior

 

[Barrister]

I agree 2-3 days is ideal. If you decide to move in together, it completely complicates this. The reason being is that 2-3 days is probably still ideal, but you have no choice but for it be 7 days at that point. Hence why almost every relationship across the board generally dips in quality (especially when it comes to frequency of sex) once you have moved in together.

 

[CornbreadFed]

If you have to make up rules or boundaries about seeing your partner, then the relationship is doomed regardless. We generally spend the weekends together and I make her dinner or eat out one day during the week. If work is busy, I tell her that my availability will be limited.

 

[soulforge]

Once a week. You can see her more than that as a form of rewarding good behavior

Once? Isn't that more like the kind of time you would give a fuk buddy.

I think two days is more appropriate.

 

[soulforge]

If you have to make up rules or boundaries about seeing your partner, then the relationship is doomed regardless.

I wouldn't say it's rules.. I just think most men these days give away there time and attention too easily, without even realising that it's killing the attraction.

Guess some rules have to be put into place, in order to avoid being taken for granted.

 

[soulforge]

Somewhere between 2-3 days a week. Never stop going out with your buddies and keep doing your hobbies.

When I lived together with an LTR, I always spent less quality time together than when living apart. It probably wasn't a good thing.

Personally I think 2 days is the sweet spot.. The third day could be dependent on her behaviour or her making that extra effort to see you.

And agreed, you must stay on top of hobbies, especially the gym. I would never skip gym for the sake of seeing a girl.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I wouldn't say it's rules.. I just think most men these days give away there time and attention too easily, without even realising that it's killing the attraction.

Guess some rules have to be put into place, in order to avoid being taken for granted.

Yeah, it should come naturally while you hold your own life too. The guy you are talking about more than likely doesn't have a life or frame and lives off his GF. ON the other end, you have the guy faking a life and having to make up rules and boundaries to stay busy.

 

[soulforge]

Yeah, it should come naturally while you hold your own life too. The guy you are talking about more than likely doesn't have a life or frame and lives off his GF. ON the other end, you have the guy faking a life and having to make up rules and boundaries to stay busy.

I get the jist of what you are saying, however come on dude, your AVERAGE man is never that damn busy.

Most average people have average jobs, working 9-5.30pm in the office, with weekends off.

Yes you can fit in some hobbies in between, like go to the gym, or maybe go to the bar with some buddies. Spend maybe some time with the family.

But most average men are not like Tycoons, constantly on the move, making business deals, no time to stop. No time for a woman, no time for sex.

Let's be a little realistic here man.

Some of you take the red pill to just crazy **** levels haha

Should we keep ourselves busy? Yes absolutely.

Should we have hobbies? Yes absolutely.

Even with all that in place, a reasonably busy dude can still make time twice a week to see his chick in an LTR.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Depending on logistics & location. Of course we work. But current: 6 days/week. Previous 5/week. The one before 4-5/week. Never less than 3/week. I enjoy time with them. My girls have been my best friends as well as lovers. More than I enjoy alone time or time with buddies. Of course. travel for work skews things a bit.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I get the jist of what you are saying, however come on dude, your AVERAGE man is never that damn busy.

Most average people have average jobs, working 9-5.30pm in the office, with weekends off.

Yes you can fit in some hobbies in between, like go to the gym, or maybe go to the bar with some buddies. Spend maybe some time with the family.

But most average men are not like Tycoons, constantly on the move, making business deals, no time to stop. No time for a woman, no time for sex.

Let's be a little realistic here man.

Some of you take the red pill to just crazy **** levels haha

Should we keep ourselves busy? Yes absolutely.

Should we have hobbies? Yes absolutely.

Even with all that in place, a reasonably busy dude can still make time twice a week to see his chick in an LTR.

Yeah, I spend my weekends with her. After my job, gym, and getting dinner, I have about 3-4 hours of true free time a day. I prefer to use most of my weekday free time for myself which gives her space naturally, but I usually give her one of those nights. I'd say 4 days out of the week max because your girl needs space too.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Not living with her- twice a week. If she misbehaves, you cut that back for a while.

Living with her- I find it easy personally because I like having my space. My wife always wants to spend more time with me than vice versa. Use work to your advantage. Don’t be up under her all day. Get out of the house and find a woman that has her own shvt going on too.

 

[CornbreadFed]

You know if you have an LTR and you do that, she can do the same right? Would you be okay with your woman going out with her girlfriends to bars like you do with your bros? Because if not, you lead by example.

What if you go by case by case basis?

 

[TheManMasenko]

Loser mindset. You become the best social man you can be. Same goes for her. To become the best she can become. Exposed dude. Its not 1850 anymore. Get over this.
If your girl is a HSMV girl she will draw attention where ever she goes.
Only a man who has been with and dated hot women get this lol

August 31, 2023

Stringpuller called out a fake “confident” forum guy.

This man is really said “well if I go out, my girl will go out too” and? Worrying about a woman is a L.

This guy is 30 years old and still ain’t figure it out.

 

[Learning Curve]

I'm dating a chick now, that sort of moves to that department of LTR.

Now I'm in the phase of 2 times a week, and that's it.

Sometimes it's once a week, depending on our schedules.

Here is the thing, if it's her idea to see you then you can even extend it to three times a week, as long as she brings it up. Because if you are the only one scheduling dates even twice a week, and she does not mention anything about seeing you then it's too much you have to switch to once a week until she asks for more.

This always works and keeps the balance of attraction high. It has to be her idea to see you more. That does not mean that you have to give it to her but if you really dig the chick, and she is respectful and you have fun you can see her more.

 

[The Duke]

You know if you have an LTR and you do that, she can do the same right? Would you be okay with your woman going out with her girlfriends to bars like you do with your bros? Because if not, you lead by example.

Not a problem with me. I'm totally secure. It's never been a problem either.

You going to stop her from going to work too? You know your girl might meet some guy there too.

I've never lived my life in fear. You shouldn't either. You never stop bad behavior or your fear of it by placing sanctions on it.

"Lol" ;-)

 

[The Duke]

Nobody said anything about fear. But if you're okay with your girl going out to get drunk with her ho3 girlfriends on the weekends that's fine man.

If it's not about fear, then explain your apprehension? What is it you are exactly worried about? Sounds like you have some serious concern.

 

[Gamisch]

Well, the thing is that a ltr must first become a actual ltr..from casual to dating to ltr...most men fall for the trap of seeing her way too often in the beginning. Difficult to get through all stages by seeing her once a week.

UNLESS, you DGAF. Perhaps i am bitter ,but imo it's more often than not decided by the woman rather thah the man. She needs to feel you 100% at ALL TIMES (especially nowadays) otherwise she'll be gone. Stop. Stop expecting women to h3gave mercy on your soul! They don't !!

Any relationship has his shelf life. Lets say its a thousand days/dates/times. Divide it by 7 and after approximately 1 years its burned out. Divide it by twice / once a week and you can stretch it out for two years, UNLESS she wants to push it. And that's me being extremely generous with saying 1000..coukd as wel be way less.

But i geuss ANY Don juan now knows its pointless ti give in to her demands. She is emotional while you are rational!

befor you know it youll be crying dumbfounded why she doesn't even "respect " the fact you have her wtf she wanted (living together ,pink couch ect). A smart DJ knows how to keep distance and maintain attraction

 

[Gamisch]

The longer you want it to last, the less you should see her..but not TOO less..