Mixed signals from gym girl - Failed pick up - Try 2nd time?

[JizzLord]

Hey beautiful DJs,

Please lend me your wisdom on this one:
There's an HB8 at the gym I frequent. On one quiet day, as I sat, resting between sets, I glance up in the mirror directly ahead and catch her checking me out in the reflection, she looks away in panic.

A couple of weeks later (I know, should've acted sooner), I caught her as we were both leaving the gym and introduced myself. We had a short conversation that was somewhat perfunctory (default interview mode rather than keeping it playful).
At the end I said, "hey, before you go, you look good and I would like to take you out for a drink", she replied "oh no... I shouldn't... I just came out of something".

Since then, I've ran into her a couple of times and she would smile at me, and we've had brief conversations, to which she seems fairly receptive...
So... What the hell???
I'm thinking to ask her one more time at the next opportunity. Any suggestions on how I should approach it?

Some additional notes:
- She works as a paramedic. 25 years old I would guess. Italian.
- she has an almost twin, little sister, who also goes to the gym and I've also introduced myself to (not interested in picking her up, was just out of curiosity, plus the big sister would hate me if I did, haha)

 

[Smooth_texter]

Hey beautiful DJs,

Please lend me your wisdom on this one:
There's an HB8 at the gym I frequent. On one quiet day, as I sat, resting between sets, I glance up in the mirror directly ahead and catch her checking me out in the reflection, she looks away in panic.

A couple of weeks later (I know, should've acted sooner), I caught her as we were both leaving the gym and introduced myself. We had a short conversation that was somewhat perfunctory (default interview mode rather than keeping it playful).
At the end I said, "hey, before you go, you look good and I would like to take you out for a drink", she replied "oh no... I shouldn't... I just came out of something".

Since then, I've ran into her a couple of times and she would smile at me, and we've had brief conversations, to which she seems fairly receptive...
So... What the hell???
I'm thinking to ask her one more time at the next opportunity. Any suggestions on how I should approach it?

Some additional notes:
- She works as a paramedic. 25 years old I would guess. Italian.
- she has an almost twin, little sister, who also goes to the gym and I've also introduced myself to (not interested in picking her up, was just out of curiosity, plus the big sister would hate me if I did, haha)

Hi xxxxLord.

To me it looks like you took a soft rejection, and she put you in the friendzone afterwards.

The best solution here for me would be to try to game her sister. Even if I fail, there might be some chance that the big sister would become jealous and interested.

Also, you seem very invested in this. Don't be.

 

[JizzLord]

You called me out on been too invested for real.
Honestly, it's because I come across so few women in my day to day who actually pique my interest enough for me to pursue.
I'm wrestling with the feelings to get it under control, but ya know, "the heart will do what the heart wants" or some beta bullsh!t

Gaming the sister sounds fun, though. It's the cursed thing of talking to women I'm not interested being fun and easy, but with the ones I'm attracted to it's all red alert battle stations.
Will report on that should I see her again.

 

[Learning Curve]

There is some women who will go for it.

It's not that your approach was bad, is that some women need rapport building before they go out for you on drinks.

You could have potentially grabbed her phone number and called her maybe after 3-4 days on days to ask her out.

But again the response probably would have been the same.

If she is out of something recently women usually need to re-calibrate emotionally before doing anything else. It's just one of those circumstances when you can't do anything.

 

[Gamisch]

Its a good thread. Because it shows us what happens after a (soft) rejection.

You gave her the biggest compliment a man can give her. Namely approaching her and shooting your shot.

Approach -technical perhaps you should've build more momentum. You put her on the spot and forced her to make an 50/50 decision right away. So perhaps she says "no" out of safety/convenience/ slight fear ect.

But later she thinks about it, watches you move and still starts to think about you in a positive way.

 

[SW15]

A couple of weeks later (I know, should've acted sooner), I caught her as we were both leaving the gym and introduced myself. We had a short conversation that was somewhat perfunctory (default interview mode rather than keeping it playful).
At the end I said, "hey, before you go, you look good and I would like to take you out for a drink", she replied "oh no... I shouldn't... I just came out of something".

Since then, I've ran into her a couple of times and she would smile at me, and we've had brief conversations, to which she seems fairly receptive...
So... What the hell???
I'm thinking to ask her one more time at the next opportunity. Any suggestions on how I should approach it?

You have no more options with her. You need to focus on other prospects. Cease all communication with her.

Most men who approach at a gym somewhat regularly will have at least one failed approach with someone at their gym. One of the downsides of gym or fitness class of a gym approaching is that you're likely to end up seeing the woman again so long as you both go to the same gym.

There are multiple worse outcomes at the gym than a failed approach not leading to a date.

1. An approach that leads to an interaction at the gym where the interaction is something like 1-3 dates, no sex, and the interaction fails for whatever reason.
2. An approach that leads to a short term sexual relationship (either one night stand or casual sex situationship) that fails within a few month.
3. An approach that leads to extended monogamous relationship (6 months or more) that ultimately fails.

Scenarios 2 and 3 will often cause a person to change gyms to avoid seeing that person again. Scenario 1 and failed approaches are things that most men can live with at the gym, but will be moderately uncomfortable.

Some additional notes:
- She works as a paramedic. 25 years old I would guess. Italian.
- she has an almost twin, little sister, who also goes to the gym and I've also introduced myself to (not interested in picking her up, was just out of curiosity, plus the big sister would hate me if I did, haha)

You are free to hit on the little sister since the interaction with the big sister failed.