Re-approaching / Holding grudges ?

[tightgrp]

Spending too much mental energy about whether you should or shouldn't means you likely give way too many *ucks and points to scarcity mindset.

 

[SW15]

Well, if it is a woman you met on a cold approach then chances are you will never see her again to ask a second time anyway.

I agree. I have made the observation many times that larger cities are anonymous. It's very unlikely to randomly run into a person you previously approached or run into someone from a prior "one date, no sex, no second date" type interaction. It's even difficult to randomly run into an ex-girlfriend or one of your friends/acquaintances in a bigger city while out in public.

The interaction that re-ignited this thread was me randomly running into someone in a grocery store who had rejected a gym floor approach multiple years ago (pre-2020).

Don't ask again because you never want to be in a position where a woman can say any variation of "Don't you understand the meaning of the word no?".

That is a position of absolute weakness and I shudder even thinking about it.

Follow the Godfather principle..

"Never ask for a second favor after you've been denied the first".

I didn't. The Godfather principle makes sense here, as does an application of Iron Rule of Tomassi #7.

This was a socially calibrated interaction. I saw the woman in the grocery store, we chatted for about 3 minutes because I hadn't seen her in-person for years, and then went I went on without asking her out again. I didn't give her the satisfaction of a re-approach.

 

[Gamisch]

Because she already said NO.

I'll have to keep this discussion going..

There are many types of "no". Does that matter ? E.g ; a smilingly, doubting and apologetic warm no VS a firm, clear and cold no.

 

[corrector]

Yeah, @Gamisch, if you get the "I have a boyfriend" line, or whatever excuse and then get some IOIs afterwards (ie she comes closer into your personal space, she behaves nicer with you than before (ie she's flattered you asked her out and may be more open with you), then why would you be buthurt and write-her-off in your mind. Maybe you want the "no" if that's the case as an excuse to put her into an oblivion box and go about your merry way when you really planted a seed and are becoming more familiar with each other.

Just make sure it's not a "Karen's No."

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I'll have to keep this discussion going..

There are many types of "no". Does that matter ? E.g ; a smilingly, doubting and apologetic warm no VS a firm, clear and cold no.

Great point, all no's aren't created equal.

I guess I was thinking of the clear and cold no's.

It does depend.

 

[BoostedArrow]

When dealing with women one has to remember: Time and place matter a lot for women. Maybe whe had her period, maybe she had a stressful day at work, her goldfish died, etc.

There can be many reasons why she'd decline in that particular moment, but maybe would accept later.