Do you agree with this video

[needimprovement250]

I thought I would share this here to see what you guys think. As a guy who’s about to turn 30 and has never been in a relationship or dated a woman, I have a sense of hopelessness that I can’t get rid of. I feel like women are all gonna be turned off by my lack of experience and dating for me will be a never ending cycle of going out with someone and then and getting rejected by them for having no experience. This guy says that about 98% of women will want nothing to do with inexperienced men and with OLD being so prevalent, she can easily find a more experienced guy, so you will get written off the second she finds out you have no experience.

 

[FlirtLife]

Looking at your post history, from elementary to high school you avoided women because a friend got rejected harshly. And then a porn addiction, and now you're 30 and lack experience. I think therapy is probably a better choice than videos by dating coaches, but I don't know if that is outside your budget.

In case therapy is too expensive, I looked for alternatives to therapy and found this detailed page:

6 Alternatives to Therapy

When traditional therapy isn't affordable or available, learn about affordable mental health methods that don’t involve talking to a therapist.

www.verywellhealth.com

 

[Stanley]

10 Years at Sosuave

When I showed up here, I never imagined I'd be writing this post. I didn't think I'd stick around after the first time I posted, because the regulars here gave me a hard time for how stupid and dumb I was. I don't even remember what I posted, but they sure made me feel like a piece of 5hit. I...

www.sosuave.net

 

[needimprovement250]

Looking at your post history, from elementary to high school you avoided women because a friend got rejected harshly. And then a porn addiction, and now you're 30 and lack experience. I think therapy is probably a better choice than videos by dating coaches, but I don't know if that is outside your budget.

In case therapy is too expensive, I looked for alternatives to therapy and found this detailed page:

6 Alternatives to Therapy

When traditional therapy isn't affordable or available, learn about affordable mental health methods that don’t involve talking to a therapist.

www.verywellhealth.com

I don’t think therapy would work for me, how is a therapist supposed to help me overcome this situation I’m now in? But yeah, everything you read on my post history is true and did happen to me. I was actually forced to go to therapy against my will as a kid and I was forced to take experimental pills by them, so therapy isn’t the most appealing option to me for that reason either, especially because it did not work at all for me back then. It is currently out of budget as of right now.

 

[devilkingx2]

I found the video that you need to see yesterday OP:

 

[bat soup]

I think it´s a bunch of BS. If a woman likes you, she likes you based on your qualities not on your pusssy-busting experience.

 

[needimprovement250]

I think it´s a bunch of BS. If a woman likes you, she likes you based on your qualities not on your pusssy-busting experience.

I think its more about the lack of relationship experience, which makes them feel like you won’t know how to behave or handle yourself in a relationship and might end up making her have to lead the relationship and show you how to be in one, something most other guys that age already know how to do.

 

[needimprovement250]

I found the video that you need to see yesterday OP:

I’ve seen that video before, I wonder if any of the girls who said yes followed through and went on a date with him.

 

[Stanley]

I think its more about the lack of relationship experience, which makes them feel like you won’t know how to behave or handle yourself in a relationship and might end up making her have to lead the relationship and show you how to be in one, something most other guys that age already know how to do.

Dude no! You're giving girls power over you before you even get out there. Don't care! and they won't care if they are into you seriously.

 

[devilkingx2]

I’ve seen that video before, I wonder if any of the girls who said yes followed through and went on a date with him.

I wouldn't be surprised if 50-80% of them ghosted him or flaked if he really tried to seriously setup plans. That's anywhere from 9 to 16 of them. Leaving a potential 3-10 dates.

But even if 95% of them did that, mathematically that's still around 1 date he got just by walking up to random girls all day.

 

[Murk]

Go see some escorts to recalibrate. Make sure they are baddies too.

 

[corrector]

Therapy is a stupid idea because they will not get the OP situation. Its too niche to cater to him. Therapy is more suited for middle class income people sorting out domestic issues. If you dont have a proper job, no money, no experience when its a toxic idea to go there. Its better to get career counselling, resume or job interview advice and land a decent job then talk to the female coworkers (friendly chit chat, but dont try too hard). You need to feel like a normal productive member of society to have a healthy level of self esteem so your inexperience does not get to you as much.

 

[Gamisch]

Oke op you wanna go balls to the wall all in ? If i was you i would view myself as an human experiment. Whatcha gotha lose?

-post a picture of your self (or of someone who looks identical to you)

-follow the OLD advice you get

- be willing to invest (in OLD, pictures, clothes ect.)

- dear to approach. Even if it's "approach lite" (e.g say good afternoon to at least 5 women a day)

-Tell us more about your hogest level of success with women.

Must be many more things. But my suggestion only makes sense when you are willing to go all in. You must be fed up with this shyte and demand change from life

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Your focus is on the wrong side of the equation. If you approach women with that mindset, it could potentially become worse.

You need to set an attainable goal (financial, fitness, etc) that can catapult you into a bigger goal and solidify your worth and confidence. Then focus on women.

 

[needimprovement250]

Therapy is a stupid idea because they will not get the OP situation. Its too niche to cater to him. Therapy is more suited for middle class income people sorting out domestic issues. If you dont have a proper job, no money, no experience when its a toxic idea to go there. Its better to get career counselling, resume or job interview advice and land a decent job then talk to the female coworkers (friendly chit chat, but dont try too hard). You need to feel like a normal productive member of society to have a healthy level of self esteem so your inexperience does not get to you as much.

I agree, it would probably be a situation they can’t offer much help with, so it would be a waste of time and money. I am still trying to go to school, but I haven’t been able to work for the past month because my DoorDash account got hacked by a scammer and I’m still trying to sort everything out and restart with a new account on there. I know that DoorDash isn’t a proper job, but its what I’m using to put myself through school and have spending money as well. As for what type of counseling could help me with my situation, I probably will still give that dating coach Frank Kermit a try since one of the things he specializes in is working with guys like me, who have little to no experience at an adult age. I talked about what he does on another thread, he’s not a PUA and he also works with single women and couples in addition to single men, whereas most PUA’s only work with single men. He gives you your first 1 hour session with him for free, so I’m going to at least do the free 1 hour session and see if its helpful. I’ve been waiting until I get back on DoorDash to do it though because if the free session does help, I will want to continue on and keep working with him.

 

[needimprovement250]

It's pointless to try and help him. I've already given him the needed advice multiple times. He's focused on relationships which is coming from a place of need, insecurity, and scarcity. OP should be more interested in experiencing different types of women.

I don't believe self confidence in other aspects of life translate over to sexual confidence. Which is what he's struggling with.

I would like to have a relationship of course, but I am also perfectly fine with dating casually too since it gets me more experience, but I have been concerned that a lot of women I will now come across at my age will be dating with settling down in mind, something I’m not ready to do obviously. Any insecurity I have mostly stems from the fear of getting looked down on and repeatedly rejected for having no experience, and the scarcity comes from the fact that I have not met any women at all in the past 6 years. I agree with confidence in other aspects not transferring over to sexual confidence because how are you even supposed to feel confident with something that you have so little experience with and are also so far behind everyone else as well.

 

[needimprovement250]

You're not in a position to be picky about the type of women you choose. Aside from midgets, morbidly obese, sti infected, you should be trying to just get sexual experience with any woman at this point. You are not overweight, you can get fatties or uglier women. You should embrace it as experience. Not looking at it like you're "lowering yourself" because you know what, banging a fatty is more respectable than being an incel. You still vibe with a female, experience the nuanced vibes and connections that need to be experienced, and if you are not actually that attracted, it's practice for you to separate sex and "romantic" feelings. If you have a fatty fwb for a while, you'll gain enough sexual confidence to make the next interaction with a woman easier.

That’s very similar to what that dating coach who I mentioned in my response to Corrector has also said in the past. He specializes in working with men who have no experience at an older age, and he’s said that a man in this situation needs to go out and get experience wherever you can get it from. He didn’t necessarily say to get with fat women, but he pretty much said that it doesn’t matter if just the thought of having sex with her doesn’t give you a hard on, because if you can stomach having sex with her then you need to go for it. He also said that a lot of the inexperienced guys he’s worked with believe that you have to commit to that woman just because you two had sex. So he made it clear that you don’t have to enter into a LTR or a committed relationship of any kind just because you went out on a date with a woman and had sex with her. So he sounds pretty spot on with what you’re telling me and this guy seems to know what he’s talking about. He said its very common for inexperienced men to want jump right into a LTR as soon as they get out there, and he has to tell them that’s not really the best idea most of the time and starting out by dating casually once you enter the dating world usually works out better for them.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

OP: restatement of the obvious->less time on the internet more time forcing yourself to talk to women. Any where for any reason, you do t even need to be attracted to them. Sounds like you need field experience.

You can make excuses not to all day and night, but until you do it’s not going to get better. My hair looks bad today, I’m not wearing my good jeans, it’s a waning crescent moon, it’s mercury retrograde. Until you engage in actual action the rest is nothing but platitudes.

I’ve seen that video before, I wonder if any of the girls who said yes followed through and went on a date with him.

 

[needimprovement250]

Good. Now you can accept what I've been telling you for a while now. And apply it. You don't need to pay for any sessions. Just do it.

I probably will still work with that coach because he seems so knowledgeable when it comes to helping guys who are in this situation, and at least he’s transparent with pricing unlike other people in that business. He charges $100 for each 1 hour session and you don’t even have to use up the whole hour in one session, he said that the time you used is just deducted and the remaining time can be used on another session at any time in the future. He also gives you your first 1 hour session for free in order for you to see wether or not it’s actually helpful without it costing you any money. So I’ll at least do the free 1 hour and see how it goes.

 

[needimprovement250]

OP: restatement of the obvious->less time on the internet more time forcing yourself to talk to women. Any where for any reason, you do t even need to be attracted to them. Sounds like you need field experience.

You can make excuses not to all day and night, but until you do it’s not going to get better. My hair looks bad today, I’m not wearing my good jeans, it’s a waning crescent moon, it’s mercury retrograde. Until you engage in actual action the rest is nothing but platitudes.

Yeah I rarely get to even talk to women. I blame that on my lifestyle since its caused me to never be in situations where women are around. As far as excuses go, its mainly that I’ve been telling myself that its too late anyway because no women are gonna want a guy my age who has no experience and videos like the one I started this thread with have just been providing me with negative reinforcement, which made that belief even stronger. Another one is the fact that I still live at home with my parents and its made me think that its pointless because I don’t even have my own place for sex to happen and that women will look down on me for still living at home when I’m 30. I am trying to change that though, its not like I have no desire to leave because I really wish I had my own place and have wanted that for several years. I also think I’m living with a deep sense of regret that I wasted my teens and 20’s with the belief that since my friends got rejected, I was guaranteed to be rejected every time too. But I never had anyone to talk to about dating struggles and still don’t to this day.