How/Why do women fall in love?

[SargeMaximus]

So I was just thinking about this. I’ve only had one woman who told me she was in love with me. I only made her cvm once in our 14 months together and hundreds of times having sex.

Yet women I made cvm a LOT dont. That’s one of the reasons I stopped caring if they got off or not. I never saw the value in it. It certainly didn’t make them fall in love with me or anything substantial and it never seemed to keep them coming back for more.

So yeah, I’m just at home in a snow day and now I’m curious if anyone knows what it is

 

[behimo]

Even as a man, you can make yourself *** just like a woman can make herself *** so what's the part that binds us? it's the intimacy or the fact that the other person is providing something you deeply need/want. This could be anything and requires digging into their psyche.

I don't think there is a blanket statement that will cover all or a majority but women have different needs at different phases in their life.

 

[Atom Smasher]

You make her fall in love with you by presenting yourself as a man of integrity, strength, boldness, kindness with a dangerous edge, well-rounded in knowledge, and reasonably fit. Project that you are the king of your life and that few women are allowed to be guests in your kingdom, but you're giving her a chance.

She will never fall in love with you while you are with her. Women fall in love with a man when she is by herself, thinking about him. She talks herself into loving him.

Take the hammer and chisel to yourself and carve out an exceptional man. That would be the best you that you can be. Be selective with women. Don't accept bratty behavior. Be selective. Eventually the higher quality women will start sending these things in you and you will have no trouble attracting quality women.

 

[Pedrito0906]

You're just not worthy of a woman's love. You're assuming making her cvm = don't fall in love, not making her cvm = fall in love. If it was that way why then stop making other women cvm?

Because the issue is not only that variable, you're getting emotionally unavailable women, doing things wrong in the dating game and/or you're projecting yourself as a guy not worthy of a woman's love.

 

[Dr.Suave]

How? By getting to the top of her Desdinovas High Score List. Just be aware there are many variables and some of them are out of your control.

Why? Its wired in their DNA I guess.

 

[pipeman84]

She will never fall in love with you while you are with her. Women fall in love with a man when she is by herself, thinking about him.

Would you say this is like with muscles which don't grow when you're in the gym, but when you're away and resting?
So spending quality time with her is obviously necessary (just like stimulating the muscles in the gym) but the actual growth (of love and muscles) happens when she's alone.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I can't agree she "talks herself" into loving him however I DO agree a woman falls in love when alone, by herself, thinking about him, wondering him, missing him.

In fact even in my marriage, my husband still allows me this time and space. He's a busy entrepreneur so it goes along with his purpose, it's not contrived or forced. I complain sometimes but it really does work to maintain my attraction and keeps things alive.

In my experience it's something organic that naturally occurs when we are given that space, distance and time to think about him, wonder about him and miss him!

That is why I so often suggest to not be afraid to incorporate some distance into the relationship, loosen the grip. It's so valuable and I know there's always a lot of talk about "hamster wheels spinning" lol and all that, but there really IS truth to it.

And any woman who tells you otherwise is either completely unaware or her own nature OR she's a liar.

Well said

 

[FlirtLife]

I would say Desdinova's High Score List that @Dr.Suave mentioned is complimented by Tomassi's "The Player's Handbook" chapter on "Alpha Widows". A woman finds her ideal man, fantasizes about him for years, and that man becomes very difficult to replace in her mind.

You can also hear this in songs like "The One Who Got Away", "Nothing Compares 2 U", and "Somebody Like You".

 

[Robert28]

It's a balance @pipeman84 . Quality time combined with some distance is the winning combo.
Push/pull. The timing of it is crucial. Knowing when to push, knowing when to pull.

For some men, it's instinctive, but it CAN be learned.

Balance it, don't abuse it.

Too old to be playing those games anymore.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Ignore the woman. Women do talk themselves into loving a man. They have to justify the feeling somehow, and they aren't logical enough to know any other terms otherwise. Been through this way too much where a woman thinks she's in love with someone, but is actually just in love with the fact he is with her. She will wonder why he is making her feel a certain way and just justifies she's madly in love with him. Way too much songs by women that say this exact same thing.

Example: Britney Spears (Drive me Crazy)

 

[kavi]

Its just an Art, some call it THE GAME.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I would say Desdinova's High Score List that @Dr.Suave mentioned is complimented by Tomassi's "The Player's Handbook" chapter on "Alpha Widows". A woman finds her ideal man, fantasizes about him for years, and that man becomes very difficult to replace in her mind.

You can also hear this in songs like "The One Who Got Away", "Nothing Compares 2 U", and "Somebody Like You".

However, Nothing Compares 2 U was written by Prince. But Shakespeare was also possibly the world’s foremost shrink so, I digress.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

So I was just thinking about this. I’ve only had one woman who told me she was in love with me. I only made her cvm once in our 14 months together and hundreds of times having sex.

Yet women I made cvm a LOT dont. That’s one of the reasons I stopped caring if they got off or not. I never saw the value in it. It certainly didn’t make them fall in love with me or anything substantial and it never seemed to keep them coming back for more.

So yeah, I’m just at home in a snow day and now I’m curious if anyone knows what it is

We keep trying to tell you that it doesn't work like that bro but you keep coming up with the same things over and over again.

Starting to think you just can't be helped because you can't understand that there isn't some magic formula that will work on every woman that you can just mindlessly do x then y then z then shake it up and stir it a little bit and put it in a jar and presto the woman falls in love with you.

You keep trying to equate doing thing x with getting result y and it doesn't work like that. This isn't some calculator. Women aren't some robot that you just do x and then this happens. People don't work in that fashion. I'm not sure if you will ever understand this, you seem to have very low emotional intelligence and it's like trying to teach calculus to a 3rd grader. No matter how many ways we keep trying to explain this to you, you just don't get it...like at all.

 

[Robert28]

It's not always a game, but suit yourself man. Quality time mixed with a bit of distance has always been the winning ticket in my relationships and now marriage whether it's a "game" or not.

No wrong or right I suppose, just do you, whatever works to keep your girl attracted and involved, no argument from me.

Just giving my perspective, same as every other member of this forum.

No I agree that it works. In my experience though the types of women it works on aren’t the types I want to date long term I’ve noticed.

 

[Gamisch]

Its just an Art, some call it THE GAME.

I agree.

Women want nothing rather but to be in love. That's why you can meet a woman and she starts love bombing you right away. You just gotta provide her what's she needs at the right time. I start to understand more and more that needy energy is better spend on keeping frame and being positive.

No one knows exactly why x woman loves y man. But what we DO know is how women fall out of love. That's due time and its accelerated by losing frame.

 

[SargeMaximus]

We keep trying to tell you that it doesn't work like that bro but you keep coming up with the same things over and over again.

Starting to think you just can't be helped because you can't understand that there isn't some magic formula that will work on every woman that you can just mindlessly do x then y then z then shake it up and stir it a little bit and put it in a jar and presto the woman falls in love with you.

You keep trying to equate doing thing x with getting result y and it doesn't work like that. This isn't some calculator. Women aren't some robot that you just do x and then this happens. People don't work in that fashion. I'm not sure if you will ever understand this, you seem to have very low emotional intelligence and it's like trying to teach calculus to a 3rd grader. No matter how many ways we keep trying to explain this to you, you just don't get it...like at all.

I’m just musing on my day off tbf. But are you saying all the advice on here is nothing more than guesses? Certainly there is some accuracy to what “works” no? I mean, why else give advice if it hasn’t been reliably proven to “work”?

Edit: Also just more musing here: I remember a girl right after sex we were talking and she told me how she felt very connected to me intellectually. I was kinda meh about it but she kept going on about it. So yeah I dunno. Lots more to learn I suppose

 

[Robert28]

Fair enough and I understand. My need for space drove some men absolutely crazy! It never would have worked out long term.
And for some men, their need for space drove many women crazy.

There's a lid for every pot as they say.

I could respect when someone wants their space. The problem I ran into was “give me space!” followed by “I never see you but once a week. That’s not enough! I need you to text me all day, you suck at communicating”.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I’m just musing on my day off tbf. But are you saying all the advice on here is nothing more than guesses? Certainly there is some accuracy to what “works” no? I mean, why else give advice if it hasn’t been reliably proven to “work”?

In general yes, but detailing specifics to the degree you seem to want is impossible because it varies from woman to woman.

You seem to focus on one small part of the entire picture and wonder why doing that better or more or less or worse doesn't improve your results.

You fail to see that is like 1% of all the things that go into it. Even regarding sex, giving a woman orgasms only is worth so much. There are other things that are important and it's the sum of all of that together that determines things much more than any single element, even if it is the most important one.

But there are so many more things that determine if a woman is going to fall in love with you other than orgasms...it is you as a whole a woman falls in love with, not just because you can do x, y or z well.

 

[SargeMaximus]

In general yes, but detailing specifics to the degree you seem to want is impossible because it varies from woman to woman.

You seem to focus on one small part of the entire picture and wonder why doing that better or more or less or worse doesn't improve your results.

You fail to see that is like 1% of all the things that go into it. Even regarding sex, giving a woman orgasms only is worth so much. There are other things that are important and it's the sum of all of that together that determines things much more than any single element, even if it is the most important one.

But there are so many more things that determine if a woman is going to fall in love with you other than orgasms...it is you as a whole a woman falls in love with, not just because you can do x, y or z well.

Ok so what should I focus on? I only focused on orgasms because I thought it was important, and I’m only sharing my results to help others because it clearly isn’t

 

[Glassguy]

A woman falls in love with the the man makes her feel.
And boring/predictable kills it.