Seducing / Escalating

[Thewolfquest]

I have been reading a number of threads and the strategies guys employ. It got me thinking of how I do it and how maybe I don't have strategy after all.

At a bar / club, if someone catches my eye I will either ask if they want to talk for a bit and then take their hand to lead to the side, and I don't let it go of their hand again or if the vibe is really high I will just grab their hand and pull them aside without a word. On a date, I usually just take their hands into mine and keep talking like nothing happened. If I am being particularly bold I just go in for a kiss if we so much as smile at each other mid sentence.. but I don't find that I do the typical "escalating" brushing, touching, sexualizing conversation etc beforehand - in fact I think I would feel a lot more self-conscious and awkward.

What I do find is that either the chemistry is there or I can not for the life of me talk to a woman and seduce her with "game" or be " suave" - I do ok in terms of girls ( easily make out/number close with multiple girls when I go out) but I feel like a little boy playing instead of a seducing man who can get those top shelf women consistently.

Tips/threads/ or articles recommended?

 

[allergictobs]

My 2 cents:

I read Neil Strauss' Game some years ago. I believe that the stuff works on some women, but definitely not all. My view is that seduction and mind games work on women who are "easy", whereas women with more developed personalities and higher intelligence are mostly immune or averse to sweet talk or seduction as you mean it.

In general, seduction happens naturally when it is supposed to happen. It's mostly eye contact and facial expressions in my opinion. If there is mutual attraction, all of this happens naturally. This is why I'm not a fan of PUAs.

Also, keep in mind that no man can attract all of the women they meet. Far from it. This is a common misconception among men - that some guys supposedly can get any woman they want, when the reality is that their success rate is closer to 10-20% (which is still high).

 

[Murk]

more developed personalities and higher intelligence are mostly immune or averse to sweet talk or seduction as you mean it.

Nobody is averse to a charming smooth-talking person that puts you at ease and feels good to be around.

 

[Thewolfquest]

^ that’s what I want

I have met enough people who have the gift of gab to believe in it

 

[allergictobs]

Nobody is averse to a charming smooth-talking person that puts you at ease and feels good to be around.

Maybe there's a misunderstanding of terms here. I don't consider what you said to be really seduction but more so just general social skills.

As far as I remember, Style and Mystery were all about opening lines, escalating quickly, saying the right words, introducing some social games etc. I guess this is what PUA is about. To me, it feels forced. Again, I don't doubt it works on some women, but I don't believe it works on all or even most women. Even Style himself mentioned that his long-term girlfriend was immune to the seduction tactics.

 

[Murk]

Maybe there's a misunderstanding of terms here. I don't consider what you said to be really seduction but more so just general social skills.

As far as I remember, Style and Mystery were all about opening lines, escalating quickly, saying the right words, introducing some social games etc. I guess this is what PUA is about. To me, it feels forced. Again, I don't doubt it works on some women, but I don't believe it works on all or even most women. Even Style himself mentioned that his long-term girlfriend was immune to the seduction tactics.

I've never really followed PUA, I don't believe in right words to say more an attitude and confidence going into interactions. It does help guys with 0 game to get a foot in the door I guess.

You're right it's forced, you can't recite lines or gimmicks, you genuinely need to be a fun person. That takes practice if you're introverted, being in many social situations/conversations to the point its second nature.