Debunking the Cheap Date myth

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

There is no such thing as a cheap under 20 dollar date. You might get lucky a few times, but expect most first dates to be around $40-$75...cost of living varies- I live in Texas

1). Walk in the Park- First, good luck getting a woman to commit to this as a first date. The other issue with this one is most dates happen at night or in the evening. Next, you have to factor in the weather, and based on Jesse's Miami thread, I know yall aren't living in Southern California where the weather is usually moderate and sunny. Now let's say you do get a date out of these parameters and the girl brings up getting drinks or food, bye bye free first date. Are you going to end a date going well because you are too cheap to buy drinks? I don't fvcking think so lol.

2). Coffee- Girl says she is free Saturday or Wednesday night, are you really going to drink coffee at 8pm? Furthermore, Coffee places are usually terrible environments for first dates because they are usually small, congested, and sometimes loud. Yes there are off times you can find one, but I wouldn't rely on it. Plus, what if you have the coffee shvts lol?

3). Drinks- 2 drinks each can easily be $40 dollars minimum unless you are out here in some podunk dive bar in Johnsville, Kansas where it reeks of cigarettes and hot dogs. If you live in some mecca gold mine where there are plenty of hot single women living in some red county suburb of Kansas City, Missouri, Good for you but most single women live downtown or close to it.

4). Go Dutch- So what value do you provide? You don't pay for dates? You don't eat pvssy because it's beta? You don't show emotions because you're an alpha? You tell her that you are fvcking multiple women? Why is this girl dating you then? If you're charisma is so fvcking great then why aren't you in politics or acting in Hollywood. Write a book bro.

 

[devilkingx2]

1). Walk in the Park- First, good luck getting a woman to commit to this as a first date. The other issue with this one is most dates happen at night or in the evening. Next, you have to factor in the weather, and based on Jesse's Miami thread, I know yall aren't living in Southern California where the weather is usually moderate and sunny. Now let's say you do get a date out of these parameters and the girl brings up getting drinks or food, bye bye free first date. Are you going to end a date going well because you are too cheap to buy drinks? I don't fvcking think so lol

obviously you need to plan sensible logistics for a date. In the same way that you shouldn't drive to a date that you plan to get drunk on.

it would also be beneficial to have some idea of the prices of the park you plan to go to. Know how much a Central Park hot dog costs.

2). Coffee- Girl says she is free Saturday or Wednesday night, are you really going to drink coffee at 8pm? Furthermore, Coffee places are usually terrible environments for first dates because they are usually small, congested, and sometimes loud. Yes there are off times you can find one, but I wouldn't rely on it. Plus, what if you have the coffee shvts lol?

This one's fair but it applies to any place at peak hour. Bars and restaurants will be crowded and loud too.

3). Drinks- 2 drinks each can easily be $40 dollars minimum unless you are out here in some podunk dive bar in Johnsville, Kansas where it reeks of cigarettes and hot dogs. If you live in some mecca gold mine where there are plenty of hot single women living in some red county suburb of Kansas City, Missouri, Good for you but most single women live downtown or close to it.

If you go to a decent happy hour you can get $7 drinks. You'd have to get 6 to spend $40.

4). Go Dutch- So what value do you provide? You don't pay for dates? You don't eat pvssy because it's beta? You don't show emotions because you're an alpha? You tell her that you are fvcking multiple women? Why is this girl dating you then? If you're charisma is so fvcking great then why aren't you in politics or acting in Hollywood. Write a book bro.

If a woman going out with you only finds value in the free drinks and food you provide, you're in a terrible position unless she's A) so broke she can't afford her own McDonald's or B) you're able to take her on a $500 shopping trip to get laid.

 

[Striker_93]

Stop going on dates and just hang out with them.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

There are some bars and lounges that aren’t super loud during the day or weekend but good luck finding a happy hour on a weekend or night time. The happy hours cater to mainly the late lunch-just off work pit stop crowd

 

[SW15]

Wow, this is a really good thread topic. I'll have lots of comments.

There is no such thing as a cheap under 20 dollar date. You might get lucky a few times, but expect most first dates to be around $40-$75...cost of living varies- I live in Texas

For a while in the early to mid 2010s, I was tracking costs of dates. I was right around $25 as my median date cost. If you factor in inflation to the present day, that's probably around $35-$40. $40-$75 is a fair cost assessment. I also live in Texas.

1). Walk in the Park- First, good luck getting a woman to commit to this as a first date. The other issue with this one is most dates happen at night or in the evening. Next, you have to factor in the weather, and based on Jesse's Miami thread, I know yall aren't living in Southern California where the weather is usually moderate and sunny. Now let's say you do get a date out of these parameters and the girl brings up getting drinks or food, bye bye free first date. Are you going to end a date going well because you are too cheap to buy drinks? I don't fvcking think so lol.

The walk in the park is a great date idea. I have pulled it off a couple of times for a first date, but it is rare. You can only really do it on Saturdays and Sundays in the afternoon. Most women aren't going to be available on Wednesday at 2 PM for a date. A lot of times, you aren't going to be available for a Wednesday at 2 PM date. White collar workers suffer on the timing of this. Two college students with similar schedules might be available to pull off a weekday late afternoon date. You're exactly right that most first or early stage dates happen too close to sunset or later for this to be a viable idea.

You're also right about factoring in the weather. The only areas in the USA where a park or outdoor date is viable 12 months per year is in Southern California. In Texas, an outdoor walk in the park date on a weekend afternoon isn't likely to happen between mid-May to late September. Even winters in the big Texas cities can be unpredictable for this. Texas can have cold snaps in the winter. Most US cities will have winters too cold for park walk dates. Phoenix or Tucson in Arizona can have good conditions for walk/hike dates from mid-October through mid-April. If you're in Orlando, Tampa, or Miami-Fort Lauderdale, you can do park or beach dates mid-October to mid-April.

I have tended to meet women on walking paths or in parks and get insta walking dates out of it. Most park or walking/hiking path approaches lead to first dates in bars. Few women will do an insta 1 hour or so walk with you after an approach.

2). Coffee- Girl says she is free Saturday or Wednesday night, are you really going to drink coffee at 8pm? Furthermore, Coffee places are usually terrible environments for first dates because they are usually small, congested, and sometimes loud. Yes there are off times you can find one, but I wouldn't rely on it. Plus, what if you have the coffee shvts lol?

Coffee dates are a horrible idea. You got some of the reasons correct for why they are bad. You missed the most important reason. It's very difficult to create a romantic mood and escalate in a coffee shop. If you don't set the mood correctly, she's not likely to perceive you as a viable romantic option. She needs to feel the romance. It isn't going to happen with a coffee house, even if you don't get the coffee shiits.

3). Drinks- 2 drinks each can easily be $40 dollars minimum unless you are out here in some podunk dive bar in Johnsville, Kansas where it reeks of cigarettes and hot dogs. If you live in some mecca gold mine where there are plenty of hot single women living in some red county suburb of Kansas City, Missouri, Good for you but most single women live downtown or close to it.

While drinks dates are better than dinner dates for a variety of reasons, it is nearly at the point where 2 drinks a piece (man covering a total of 4 drinks) is nearly as expensive as dinner. However, non-monetary reasons would be why drinks is still a preferrable early stage date option.

4). Go Dutch- So what value do you provide? You don't pay for dates? You don't eat pvssy because it's beta? You don't show emotions because you're an alpha? You tell her that you are fvcking multiple women? Why is this girl dating you then? If you're charisma is so fvcking great then why aren't you in politics or acting in Hollywood. Write a book bro.

Not paying for a date is tough. Women will be able to get free dates from other men on a swipe app or Instagram. Most guys know that if they don't pay for the entire date cost, the next guy will. There have been times in my life where my career wasn't going well (thank you late 2000s/early 2010s recession) where I was footing the bill for dates with women who were making more money than I was at the time. I had to absorb the cost of dates based on some ridiculous notion from the pre-feminist era. Women like feminism when it is convenient for them. I wasn't pleased about absorbing the full cost of date, especially for someone with a higher salary than I had, but I realized that there was no way around it.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Coffee dates are a horrible idea. You got some of the reasons correct for why they are bad. You missed the most important reason. It's very difficult to create a romantic mood and escalate in a coffee shop. If you don't set the mood correctly, she's not likely to perceive you as a viable romantic option. She needs to feel the romance. It isn't going to happen with a coffee house, even if you don't get the coffee shiits.

Coffee dates can be effective if she's willing to engage in sexual flirtation beforehand (and you took a good crap in the morning when you first wake up). That being said, I prefer drink dates even with the increased cost.

 

[biggoal]

Everyone on here says don't do meal dates for first date from OLD. One time had an OLD date that lasted 3 hours. She picked the most expensive item on the lunch menu.

 

[2Rocky]

Everyone on here says don't do meal dates for first date from OLD. One time had an OLD date that lasted 3 hours. She picked the most expensive item on the lunch menu.

Once again you regurgitate one of the 3 dates you actually have ever been on it your life. Get some new experiences dude....

 

[EyeBRollin]

I am a drinks only guy for the first meeting. If she doesn’t drink I withdraw the offer.

If you are too cheap for two rounds of drinks just don’t date.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

There is no such thing as a cheap under 20 dollar date. You might get lucky a few times, but expect most first dates to be around $40-$75...cost of living varies- I live in Texas

1). Walk in the Park- First, good luck getting a woman to commit to this as a first date. The other issue with this one is most dates happen at night or in the evening. Next, you have to factor in the weather, and based on Jesse's Miami thread, I know yall aren't living in Southern California where the weather is usually moderate and sunny. Now let's say you do get a date out of these parameters and the girl brings up getting drinks or food, bye bye free first date. Are you going to end a date going well because you are too cheap to buy drinks? I don't fvcking think so lol.

2). Coffee- Girl says she is free Saturday or Wednesday night, are you really going to drink coffee at 8pm? Furthermore, Coffee places are usually terrible environments for first dates because they are usually small, congested, and sometimes loud. Yes there are off times you can find one, but I wouldn't rely on it. Plus, what if you have the coffee shvts lol?

3). Drinks- 2 drinks each can easily be $40 dollars minimum unless you are out here in some podunk dive bar in Johnsville, Kansas where it reeks of cigarettes and hot dogs. If you live in some mecca gold mine where there are plenty of hot single women living in some red county suburb of Kansas City, Missouri, Good for you but most single women live downtown or close to it.

4). Go Dutch- So what value do you provide? You don't pay for dates? You don't eat pvssy because it's beta? You don't show emotions because you're an alpha? You tell her that you are fvcking multiple women? Why is this girl dating you then? If you're charisma is so fvcking great then why aren't you in politics or acting in Hollywood. Write a book bro.

$40-75??? That seems high. I am usually in the range of $20-25, and rarely over $30-40. I only ever grab drinks for a first date if I can't get them to come straight to my place.

You can get a decent bottle of wine and split if for $30-40 or you can each get a good drink for $10-12 a piece or two a piece if they're cheap drinks.

You don't need to get them plastered. Just 1 or 2 drinks and then bring them home. I'll pay the first round or two and if we do end up drinking more at the bars, most of them grab the next rounds, I'll happily let them pay.

 

[Skyline]

You guys are thinking too much on what the date should be.

If you want to get coffee at 8 PM do it. If she's really interested in you she will accept nearly anything. You could ask her to go on a date to Mars with you and if she isn't interested she will say no. As long as she actually shows up to the date then nothing else really matters unless she's being an awful person on the date or you're just socially stupid which results in it leading nowhere.

I personally plan dates revolving around similar interests. If you have to use these default date venues then you two won't work out anyway as you probably don't share enough in common. OLD is completely different than real life as well, never base anything dating related on OLD.

Actions > Words

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I am a drinks only guy for the first meeting. If she doesn’t drink I withdraw the offer.

If you are too cheap for two rounds of drinks just don’t date.

agreed lol

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

$40-75??? That seems high. I am usually in the range of $20-25, and rarely over $30-40. I only ever grab drinks for a first date if I can't get them to come straight to my place.

You can get a decent bottle of wine and split if for $30-40 or you can each get a good drink for $10-12 a piece or two a piece if they're cheap drinks.

You don't need to get them plastered. Just 1 or 2 drinks and then bring them home. I'll pay the first round or two and if we do end up drinking more at the bars, most of them grab the next rounds, I'll happily let them pay.

1). I highly doubt a girl with an ounce of self esteem is going to come to your house on the first date unless you live in Belarus or some country where that’s standard.

2). Based off my experience on the apps, I don’t want a girl I haven’t seen or met before coming to my place. Even Alpha Male Strategies doesn’t do this because it’s stupid as hell and no telling if you meet some crazy tire slashing bish that knows your address lol.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

You guys are thinking too much on what the date should be.

If you want to get coffee at 8 PM do it. If she's really interested in you she will accept nearly anything. You could ask her to go on a date to Mars with you and if she isn't interested she will say no. As long as she actually shows up to the date then nothing else really matters unless she's being an awful person on the date or you're just socially stupid which results in it leading nowhere.

I personally plan dates revolving around similar interests. If you have to use these default date venues then you two won't work out anyway as you probably don't share enough in common. OLD is completely different than real life as well, never base anything dating related on OLD.

Actions > Words

we are talking first date here where there’s no such high interest yet unless you’re lying to her face like the Tinder Swindler. Plus, he was preying on a particular type of girl, not just picking off girls left and right.

 

[2Rocky]

https://www.more.com/lifestyle/love-sex/50-fun-first-date-ideas-budget/

Some ideas if you are lacking creativity.....I seldom would ask a woman to go on a date doing something I wouldn't do alone anyway. The key for a first date is that it should foster conversation. If you can't talk to her you aren't gonna get in her pants...end of story.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

1). I highly doubt a girl with an ounce of self esteem is going to come to your house on the first date unless you live in Belarus or some country where that’s standard.

2). Based off my experience on the apps, I don’t want a girl I haven’t seen or met before coming to my place. Even Alpha Male Strategies doesn’t do this because it’s stupid as hell and no telling if you meet some crazy tire slashing bish that knows your address lol.

It's not that common but it happens, especially when they're under 21. Pretty much 100% of my 2nd dates are straight to my place though. I live in a large upscale building in a heavily trafficked downtown area so it's far less sketchy than some isolated house in the country or burbs.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I target fit women, I’ve begun the “active” date: let’s go for a hike! I get to see her in shorts/spandex and tennis shoes and it gives us a few hours to chat. Take them into the semi wilderness - easy to do here. This serves several purposes- it weeds out SIFs, women using old pics, it’s daytime so the makeup trick doesn’t work, I get to see her fitness level and she gets to see my well above average physique. It works.

 

[Snag87]

I have to admit there's truth here. I recently began receiving complimentary tickets to $40 to $70 dollar a ticket concerts from work. The difference in enthusiasm between asking women on dates to those shows and my standard cheap ice cream date was... palpable to say the least.

Oh, and yes at women ordering the most expensive item on the menu.

 

[SW15]

1). I highly doubt a girl with an ounce of self esteem is going to come to your house on the first date unless you live in Belarus or some country where that’s standard.

2). Based off my experience on the apps, I don’t want a girl I haven’t seen or met before coming to my place. Even Alpha Male Strategies doesn’t do this because it’s stupid as hell and no telling if you meet some crazy tire slashing bish that knows your address lol.

Some men have gotten women from swipe apps to show up at their place for the first date.

You might have more success hosting first dates at your place if you arrange all of your first dates from in-person approaches. Even if you do solely in-person approaching, getting a woman from a random approach to come to your place for a first date after a 5-15 minute conversation isn't likely.

I target fit women, I’ve begun the “active” date: let’s go for a hike! I get to see her in shorts/spandex and tennis shoes and it gives us a few hours to chat. Take them into the semi wilderness - easy to do here. This serves several purposes- it weeds out SIFs, women using old pics, it’s daytime so the makeup trick doesn’t work, I get to see her fitness level and she gets to see my well above average physique. It works.

My standard first date over time has either been drinks or the activity first date. From either a cold approach or swiping/texting, it's often difficult to find a good activity date and/or a convenient time for said activity date, so drinks has been the first date choice about 95% of the time.

 

[f(x)]

It can add up if you’re persistent.

If you only drink on dates it’s probably worth the 10-20 dollar gamble.

I meet at places I want to go to any way, so it’s usually convenient.

I get an ego boost when the regulars see me attempting to mack.

I try to pick somewhere within walking distance from my apartment.

Women will come to you if they’re interested, even if they live an hour away