The Gym and eye contact: Damned if you do, damned if you don't

[oc16]

You constantly read women don't want to be stared at the gym or don't ever stare at a woman at the gym. I feel the rules and etiquette at the gym are different.

I do my best to try and sneak in glances here and there and I think if a woman likes you she will help you.

Today, cute personal trainer was there working out on her own time with big head-phones in.

I was about 10 yards from her in between sets and she was standing by a mirror. I looked at her and she caught me looking and I quickly averted my gaze.

I was mad at myself because I averted my gaze, however I looked off to the side (not down). Now she might think I am shy or lack confidence (which I don't). I was too far away to crack a slight smile as well.

However, at the same time if I didn't avert my gaze and kept looking at her, I would of come across as creepy because I was staring.

Some situations, you cannot win.

It would be so much easier to run into these women outside the gym because you now have an ice-breaker. E.g. "I know you from the gym:"

 

[sangheilios]

Based upon many experiences of my own and of countless observations of mine in this environment, many women that go there are honestly attention whoring and lead men on for the emotional validation/thrill of it. With the current gym that I go to now, there are many attractive women there but there are a few that come to mind that fit into this description rather well.

There is this attractive blonde, I'd say somewhere around 22 or so, that gives eye contact and other IOIs to just about every man there. I've seen her flirting/talking with dozens of men there over the past year and of course she isn't actually having sex or dating all of them, in fact I'd be inclined to believe that she hasn't been involved with a single one. This woman also tried doing this with me but I completely shut it down and ignored her, I'm just not interested in wasting my time and energy on someone who has the intention of doing just that lol.

I could elaborate on several of my first hand experiences I've had with actual approaches/interactions in this environment but the one trend is that I ran into women that were highly flirtatious but essentially just used men for attention/free validation, so "attention *****s". I got literally nothing from any of those experiences and they all ended up in not just a waste of time but feeling that I was used and stupid for falling for it. Sure, if you see an attractive women there and it appears there may be an opening I say go for it but be hyper sensitive to signs of rejection or being led on for who knows what reason. The worst thing that can happen is you essentially string yourself along out of self delusion and next thing you know you have to go at a different time for fear of running into her.

 

[Zimbabwe]

For every attractive girl there are like 10 more guys at any gym, that being said it's always good to build up a bit of rapport and go indirect.

Once you develop enough propinquity you ask her out.

 

[oc16]

For every attractive girl there are like 10 more guys at any gym, that being said it's always good to build up a bit of rapport and go indirect.

Once you develop enough propinquity you ask her out.

True. Gym floor odds are awful

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You constantly read women don't want to be stared at the gym or don't ever stare at a woman at the gym. I feel the rules and etiquette at the gym are different.

I do my best to try and sneak in glances here and there and I think if a woman likes you she will help you.

Today, cute personal trainer was there working out on her own time with big head-phones in.

I was about 10 yards from her in between sets and she was standing by a mirror. I looked at her and she caught me looking and I quickly averted my gaze.

I was mad at myself because I averted my gaze, however I looked off to the side (not down). Now she might think I am shy or lack confidence (which I don't). I was too far away to crack a slight smile as well.

However, at the same time if I didn't avert my gaze and kept looking at her, I would of come across as creepy because I was staring.

Some situations, you cannot win.

It would be so much easier to run into these women outside the gym because you now have an ice-breaker. E.g. "I know you from the gym:"

Use the mirror. Dont stare. Also use mirror to see whose viewing you.

 

[oc16]

Use the mirror. Dont stare. Also use mirror to see whose viewing you.

If a woman caught you looking at her do you continue to look at her until she looks away first or do you look away?

 

[Bingo-Player]

This harassment stuff is rubbish invented by simps and unattractive women who don't get any attention anyway

Check her out and make her aware you are checking her out if she's interested she will either give you a smile or some sort of positive body language if you get nothing back forget about her she's not interested

If she is really interested then she will move herself into your vicinity although in a gym this is rare and can easily be misconstrued

Personally i hate gym interactions with girls because theres so little room for manoeuvre and it can go awkward fast especially if she ghosts or flakes you at a later stage

 

[oc16]

This harassment stuff is rubbish invented by simps and unattractive women who don't get any attention anyway

Check her out and make her aware you are checking her out if she's interested she will either give you a smile or some sort of positive body language if you get nothing back forget about her she's not interested

If she is really interested then she will move herself into your vicinity although in a gym this is rare and can easily be misconstrued

Personally i hate gym interactions with girls because theres so little room for manoeuvre and it can go awkward fast especially if she ghosts or flakes you at a later stage

True. Gym classes are alot easier, the gym floor is like a war torn minefield.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If a woman caught you looking at her do you continue to look at her until she looks away first or do you look away?

I do brief glance. I won't stare ever. I see whose looking at me.

 

[Hal9000]

Before online dating women went to the gym to receive validation from men. Some still do obviously but you might as well spend 12 hours swiping right on Tinder because thats about how much success you'll have picking up women at the gym. Unless you are the best looking guy in there then you are clearly in the "look but don't touch" zone.

 

[samspade]

Don't overthink it. If I'm caught staring (often I'm just zoned out between sets), I either smile and say hello or look away. I don't care what she thinks.

 

[SW15]

Always sneak glances at the gym. Hold eye contact and see what the response is. If the woman at the gym has no response to eye contact and a smile, she's not interested. It often has nothing to do with you. She's mostly in her own little earbud world and in many cases, she has a boyfriend and isn't looking for new penis.

 

[bat soup]

You constantly read women don't want to be stared at the gym or don't ever stare at a woman at the gym. I feel the rules and etiquette at the gym are different.

I do my best to try and sneak in glances here and there and I think if a woman likes you she will help you.

Today, cute personal trainer was there working out on her own time with big head-phones in.

I was about 10 yards from her in between sets and she was standing by a mirror. I looked at her and she caught me looking and I quickly averted my gaze.

I was mad at myself because I averted my gaze, however I looked off to the side (not down). Now she might think I am shy or lack confidence (which I don't). I was too far away to crack a slight smile as well.

However, at the same time if I didn't avert my gaze and kept looking at her, I would of come across as creepy because I was staring.

Some situations, you cannot win.

It would be so much easier to run into these women outside the gym because you now have an ice-breaker. E.g. "I know you from the gym:"

Just look if you want and if she's friendly, talk to her. You can ask some kind of innocent question to start the conversation off.

 

[RangerMIke]

Attractive women expect to be looked at. It had been happening to them since they turned 16.

If she thinks you are attractive, she likes the attention: if she doesn't... then you are a creep.

To me the gym is a place to work out... I pretty much ignore women when I'm working out.

 

[Velasco]

Has anyone here ever picked up girls at the gym? If not then your getting advice on how to do something from people who've never done it

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Attractive women expect to be looked at. It had been happening to them since they turned 16.

If she thinks you are attractive, she likes the attention: if she doesn't... then you are a creep.

To me the gym is a place to work out... I pretty much ignore women when I'm working out.

Yep, if you're spending too much time looking it means you aren't "in the gym", not focused...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Always make her look away. It shows dominance. The person who looks away is submissive.

 

[jimwho]

Has anyone here ever picked up girls at the gym? If not then your getting advice on how to do something from people who've never done it

I'd rather hear from guys that know what they're talking about when it comes to females. Whether she's at the gym
Or at the mall it's still a human with a vagina, what's the difference? Gym etiquette not included.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If a woman caught you looking at her do you continue to look at her until she looks away first or do you look away?

I lightly notice ones too quick for them to see me looking, never stare. I'm really observing which ones are looking at me. Those are the ones you want to speak to.

 

[oc16]

I lightly notice ones too quick for them to see me looking, never stare. I'm really observing which ones are looking at me. Those are the ones you want to speak to.

True.

Funny, this one gal (I'm 44---she looks anywhere from 10-18 years my junior). I don't see her that much (maybe once and week and always on a Monday morning) I have caught her looking at me numerous times.

About a month ago I was working out in an area near her, and I was kneeling on the mat. I purposely looked up at her when she got up, we made eye contact and I smiled at her. She smiled back, but I can't remember if she had headphones in or not, so I did not say anything.

The next two times I have seen her and walked by her, she avoids eye contact and just the other day she passed me and looked away to the side as she passed me. Later on, she was working out right near me without headphones on, so who knows.

Who knows what's going on these women's heads. You think they find you attractive but ignore you when you pass them.