any tips for not getting stood up on first dates?

[twelveightyone]

I keep getting stood up on first dates with OLD. I always set a specific place and time. Any pro-tips to prevent this?

I guess I could check in with them on the day of, but that just seems kind of weak. Almost like asking them again...

 

[Epimanes]

You answered your own question.... nothin wrong with shooting them a text the day of...

"Hey... we still on for this evening?"

This whole texting rules bs is just that... bs.... text and verify it's gunna happen. You don't want your time wasted and if she's interested.. she will respond. If she doesn't... you have your answer.

 

[Kotaix]

Get her excited to see or do something that she won't want to miss out on instead of just getting together to chat.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I keep getting stood up on first dates with OLD. I always set a specific place and time. Any pro-tips to prevent this?

I guess I could check in with them on the day of, but that just seems kind of weak. Almost like asking them again...

I don't go on dates anymore. I don't believe in dating. I believe in doing what I like and usually do for my own pleasure and if a girl wants to come along, she is welcome to join. If not, I will be there doing whatever I felt like doing in the first place anyway. Keep in mind, this philosophy is not an attempt to avoid rejection but rather to better connect with someone organically that is on the same wavelength as me.

But if you must go on a date specifically, and when I used to back in the day I would simply ask the girl out, once she agrees I would say something along the lines of "You're not one of those girls that flake out, are you?". And then 24 hrs before the date (or the day of) you are welcome to confirm like others have suggested. I just wouldn't text (besides that confirmation) between the invite and the actual date.

Last but not least, embrace the fact that girls flaking out is pretty common and you can never eliminate that chance. It simply happens to the best of us. Nothing personal against you.

Hope this helps.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Willie Naylor]

I keep getting stood up on first dates with OLD. I always set a specific place and time. Any pro-tips to prevent this?

I guess I could check in with them on the day of, but that just seems kind of weak. Almost like asking them again...

Call the day before to confirm. "This is Willie. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow night at Burger King."

 

[Mike32ct]

Definitely reach out within the last 24 hrs or so. Even by text.

“See you tomorrow night at XYZ coffee shop in Anytown at 6 pm”

If you go complete radio silence until the date, she wonders “Does he still even want to go?”

 

[Duke26]

I’ll text them an hour or two before the date and tell them that I’m gonna be 15 minutes late. Usually works well

 

[SW15]

Meet women in real life. That can help reduce your flake rate.

 

[Glassguy]

Meet women in real life. That can help reduce your flake rate.

This.

And CALL the woman before the date. A 5 minute phone call will greatly reduce flakes.

 

[Machine10033]

I never used to call them dates. When I was going out I would invite the girl to do something I was going to do anyway. Hey... I’m going to go grab a bite to eat, watch the games and have few drinks at ( insert place). I always enjoyed playing it like that because the girl comes into it with zero pressure or expectations and the ball is in your court... she will constantly ask her self during the night/ day out.... what is this... where we going... is this a date? Plus you can’t get stood up if it’s not a date .

 

[SW15]

This.

And CALL the woman before the date. A 5 minute phone call will greatly reduce flakes.

With women I've met in person, I haven't called them before a date.

My simplified, typical approach process is this. This could be bar or non-bar. Since the early 2010s, I have done more non-bar approaching.

• Approach woman
• Have good conversation
• Around the 5-15 minute mark, ask her to do something together. This is often getting drinks in a bar, but could be an activity date if the conversation has uncovered a mutual passion for the same activity. Usually, it is drinks in a bar.
• Once she has agreed to a date, ask her for her phone number
• Send text identifying myself so she has my number

I have not typically done a phone call in this process. It could be done after I've sent a text identifying my number and in theory she has entered that number as a contact in her phone. Some women enter new men's numbers into their phone immediately, others let them sit as a random number sequence for a bit. There have been times where the woman would text me a few hours before the date to ask me if it was still happening. This behavior is more common with swipe app sourced women than real life sourced women. The real life sourced woman has a greater feel for you and doesn't always need the validation.

Over the years, I've felt that there is more babysitting involved with women to get them to show up on dates. I don't recall in the early to mid-2000s when people has basic candy bar type cell phones that there was much calling in between a real life approach and a planned date time.

Plus you can’t get stood up if it’s not a date .

Incorrect. Your male friends can stand you up/flake on plans. It's also possible for a guy who you've met for the first time and you plan to get together with more flake before your first get together.