Friendships before partner?

[Hoodie]

Is it important have and be able to maintain good friendships, before considering finding a partner?
I'm kind of a loner, and I'm afraid if I find a partner without having solid friendships. I will lean on her to be my friend, and perhaps come off as needy and kill all attraction.

 

[2Rocky]

Yes building and maintaining platonic friendships is an important prerequisite for just the reason you describe. no person can be the perfect friend.. .

How Not to Be Disappointed With Your Friends

A lot of guys miss out on making friends, because they’re looking for a best buddy, and won’t bother trying to get to know anyone they don’t have everything in common with.

www.artofmanliness.com

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I think that there are successes and failures on both sides of this equation and I don't think friendship would impact the genuine outcome at all, the attraction is either there or your just the best option at that particular time

 

[Hoodie]

I think that there are successes and failures on both sides of this equation and I don't think friendship would impact the genuine outcome at all, the attraction is either there or your just the best option at that particular time

I'm thinking more like friendships today can make you a better when relating to others, whether that be a friend or a partner. My biggest hurdle when it comes to women are just bad social skills. Not wanting to come off as a socialy inept person.

Another bonus, is that you might be more content IF you don't find someone.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

You have basically answered your own questions, and the good news is that your answers are all correct. Nothing dries a woman up more than a needy man - and a man who gets 95% or more of his social needs met through his wife/GF will be seen by her as needy. But don't work on your social skills for success with women - having a solid social circle is important for your own well-being. I have learned that conquering your fears is the most important and rewarding thing you can do in life. You have to face it head-on. If you have bad social skills, put together an action plan of how you are going to change that. It will require two things - research, and action. Research without action won't accomplish anything. Action will be forcing yourself to meet new people, talking to strangers, and investing specific amounts of time doing new activities/hobbies that involve meeting new people.

 

[Kotaix]

Is it important have and be able to maintain good friendships, before considering finding a partner?
I'm kind of a loner, and I'm afraid if I find a partner without having solid friendships. I will lean on her to be my friend, and perhaps come off as needy and kill all attraction.

I'm thinking more like friendships today can make you a better when relating to others, whether that be a friend or a partner. My biggest hurdle when it comes to women are just bad social skills. Not wanting to come off as a socialy inept person.

Another bonus, is that you might be more content IF you don't find someone.

Your fear of coming across as socially inept is exactly what is making you come across as needy. The need to be accepted is a turn-off for women because this is a female attitude. Women like men who are confident in themselves.

If you want a female partner for an LTR then you must be compatible with her. This means being able to be friends with her. But you don't need friendship in order to make that happen. If she is into you she will make the time for you and will help make it happen.

The one thing you need to be aware of is her level of interest. If you're into her more than she's into you then there is no way it's going to work out.

 

[rjc149]

Slightly unrelated to women but it has been proven that those who have a good social, family and support network rarely fall into addiction. Often those that fall through the cracks lack a social and support network.

What does that tell you?

Now relate that to women...

I'm telling you those with a strong social and support network will 1) not feel the sting so badly when something ends 2) find it easier to meet another / others 3) will be less needy and more stable 4) obviously your social skills will be at a much higher level making it natural to deal with women..

The list goes on....

I’ll add to that list — they live longer.

 

[rjc149]

Not being a social butterfly doesn’t necessarily mean you will inevitably lean on your partner for company. It’s possible to be a loner, without a thriving social circle, and also not be needy with women.

Are you a loner because you prefer it, or because you find yourself unable to form friendships?