I would appreciate your input here

[Stephen89]

I have this situation where I got treated badly by this family, which is my father's brother's son and his mother.

The cousin in the last 7 years, he has given me the silent treatment by talking to everyone else expect me in the family, I could be sitting next to him in the room but he will never talk to me and he deliberately ostracises me.

He is manipulative, acts manipulative, a sly person, a bully.

He has put me down, belittled me, they put me down indirectly.

His little brother last year when I started talking, he said "I don't care" and indirectly put me down.

They are cruel and do not know me.

They wish to undermine, condense, silence. And they have lied about me. They wish to control. His mother puts me down indirecly on whatsapp.

They already know I've done well, going ahead in life, perhaps leaving them behind. They do not wish to hear anything positive.

I am cutting them out(I think they know, but they still disrespect, which shows they care a lot about me). I don't care and moving on.

However it seems like they have to continue lying about me, caring about me, showing me up on whatsapp. And think any success is by cheating, bribing, think I'm lying and like they don't care at all.

Why do these people act like this? They do not ever wish to see me do better, have power over them? The cousin behaves condensing

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Imagine a man that seems so threatening that you would never dare encourage him. You are that man to them.

You should feel flattered that they feel so threatened by you without you even trying.

They are either envious, jealous, or fearful of your power. You are obviously stronger or smarter than them, or have made obviously better life decisions. Perhaps they see that you have more potential than them.

By playing along and trying to win them over or even drawing attention to them(like with this post) you make them feel comfortable in their faux superiority. The only thing holding up this lie is your doubt that they may be right.

Instead I encourage you to twist that thumbscrew they've so generously exposed. Be casual in your ability to brush off their lies, don't bother trying to defend yourself. Let your actions speak for themselves. Let those actions appear effortless. Never describe or make a show of the hard work you're doing behind the scenes. They'll have no choice but to respect you, if for any reason but to uphold their own reputations.

If they refuse they risk being forgotten in obscurity.

 

[King Lion]

Proverbs 29:27
An unjust man is detestable to the righteous, and one whose way is upright is detestable to the wicked.

 

[Black Widow Void]

This reminds me of an 8th grade teacher that still raises the hair on my neck (and I'm old!). I always suspected that I reminded her of some school crush that ruined her (to this day, she never married). Anyway... looking back, I should have used her negative energy as a motivator to win awards etc... (knowing that this would get under her skin).

Something about you reminds them of their failures.

Here's the lyrics to a song about 30 years old by a singer called "Morrissey." He nailed it,

"We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful"

"We hate it when our friends become successful,
We hate it when our friends become successful.
Oh, look at those clothes,
Now look at that face it's so old,
And such a video,
Well, it's really laughable,
Ah hahahaha etc.

We hate it when our friends become successful,
And if they're northern
That makes it even worse and
If we can destroy them
You bet your life we will destroy them.
If we can hurt them, well,
We may well.
It's really laughable,
Ah hahahaha etc.

You see, it should have been me.
It could have been me.
Everybody knows, everybody says so.
They say, "Oh, you have loads of songs,
So many songs,
More songs than they can stand"

 

[Serenity]

Don't know for sure why they hate you, but I would for sure block them and anyone who believes their lies about you.

 

[Romanemp22]

You need to stand up for yourself. When you were talking and that kid said I don't care you say shut the fvck up.
If your cousin is ignoring you, ignore him back, don't engage with him, act like he isn't in the room. He's not your father you don't need to respect that little sh1t. You need to be more tougher otherwise they will eat you metaphorically.

 

[Kotaix]

Why exactly are they doing this to you? Without context this is hard to understand.

I've heard of plenty of families where they are jealous of a certain member's success, but damn.

Bullies will usually stop their behavior if confronted, and they're usually insecure and act the way they do because they're allowed to. I bet your cousin would talk to you real fast if you punched him in the face. This is how men used to settle their differences.

 

[Asseater]

Just stop engaging with people who treat you like this. It doesn't matter why they are doing it, getting yourself away from people who do stuff like this is what you need to do. You get to choose who you surround yourself with, and a lot of your happiness in this life will be determined by who you choose to let into your social circle.

 

[Mike32ct]

Just stop engaging with people who treat you like this. It doesn't matter why they are doing it, getting yourself away from people who do stuff like this is what you need to do. You get to choose who you surround yourself with, and a lot of your happiness in this life will be determined by who you choose to let into your social circle.

^This. Cutting them out of your life is about the only way you can "win" here.

I'm not a social media person, but do you really even NEED to be on that app where they are bothering you? Or at the very least, block them.

I'm not in contact with any of my cousins for good reason. They worship my brother but have largely ignored me.

As for why people are like this, I don't know. I can't wrap my head around it. In order to be envious, I'd first have to actually care about other peoples' business lol.