Why is it always me that has to get out of people's way?

[user252009]

I've noticed this over several years; whenever I'm walking, in the city on the streets, in the parks, etc., and there is someone walking towards me, it's always me that has to move and get out of the way, never the other person. That may be a woman, a man, young or old. What's the deal? I tried several times not to get out of the way, and they borderline crashed into me, wtf? Especially during COVID-19 times, I do consciously make distance to other people even bigger than usually, but it seems like I'm the only one.

 

[Trojan3000]

Because you're thinking about it more than them and they're just walking and not paying much attention to you. Or you may be smaller and weak looking. I mean why are you th inking about this in the first place, def has to be a reason.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

try a few times to stop moving, hold your forearms up and let them crash into you while saying 'heads up'.(so you warned them-they walked into you)

lol, sounds funny but you'll give off a stronger vibe after a few of these crashes.
Something about your demeanor and facial expression from afar will change and people will change too.

Or take a few minutes to study where the openings are where there is a crashless space to walk...usually right on edge of sidewalk/walkway close to cars/railings or so close to stores your shoulder is polishing the glass.

 

[FairShake]

Cause you're polite and not a douuuuuche. Own it, live it.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Lol its funny cause to me it happens only with women especially older ones.

I cross guys no matter their size and we both cross eyes then live room to each other, same with girls or kids altough girls need some more eye contact...actually the most polite are immigrants that leave extra room with no pressure, gotta give it to them.

Middle aged women, they take for granted that you'll move away even if they have big bags and it means that you have to get out of the curb.

Too bad I dont give a fvck about social cohesion anymore, I pay more taxes than others while using basically no welfare so no nice guy treatment from me since Im paying most of the bills.

I had women hitting my knees with their bags only to have the content falling on the ground, I never bother to even look back but some of them even had the courage to call me a$$hole as if they couldnt step aside.

Once a middle aged woman shouted at me demanding an apology, I replied "lol b1tch count on it" and moved away.

OP I had your problem when I was a teen, not enough size and too many gentle vibes.

Btw does this happens at any time or only in day time? I notice that in night time people is generally more polite.

 

[zekko]

Cause you're polite and not a douuuuuche. Own it, live it.

I agree with this mindset. People in the community seem to have this attitude that everything is about them and everyone else needs to conform to their own selfish needs. But it is odd that the other person never seems to yield. Like Trojan3000 said, I wonder if maybe the OP is weak looking, either in reality or in his body language? In which case, the old build muscle advice would seem apt.

I notice for me, if there is an impending collision, both I and the other person will usually both try to yield. Which can be annoying, but that's the way it should be. I'll give them a second and if they don't proceed, then I'll go. The least hesitant usually gets right of way. But bear in mind everything's not all about you.

 

[FairShake]

Here is further validation...it's crazy out there right now. We have a lot of people with a tentative relationship with reality and sanity and no concern for the common man. Some of these people don't need to be pushed very far to hurt you or take your life. I'm 6'4" 265lbs and built well. I avoid any conflict that does not gain me money. My life isn't worth the metaphorical inches measured on my d!ck I gain by playing walking chicken out in public so I go above and beyond when ceding the right of way.

 

[metalwater]

depends on the setting and activities some but not completely.

I generally defer to elders men or women (every day there is less of them...).

If it is just one to one meeting and not urgent for time, it is a great time to greet(good morning..) and smile and move. if the other person is in need of space such as carry something, move completely and give way. If it is a group and I am alone, it depends....

In business, there is already a pecking order and we just follow it. If I am the owner, all defer or will have to move on. when someone else is the owner I cede the respect of there position and step aside REGARDLESS of age or gender.

It is not weird to think about it, but bad to get stuck on it. It is a decent gage of how you are perceived at first glance. If it bothers you, work on posture and chin up. Intentionally setting your shoulders back and down and pulling your chin back will almost instantly change this at least some.

Agree with the ones telling to not make a big deal of it if some dude will not give equal space. you don't know him or what is his problem that day. maybe his wife just died...

 

[Alvafe]

I don't know why it matters much, I don't care much and I see the way if is possible for me to give space and the other don't I do it, if not I tend to stop and let then see they will bash on me, I had shoulder bumps several times with some guys who don't know wanted to look strong or was dumb and not looking they, I just brace for impact with means they will feel the whole impact never had problem, only one the dude tried to look like I was wrong, the moment he saw me he stoped and did nothing so really don't think too much on it

 

[andreihaha]

I feel like the action of slightly moving away should be mutual. Unless the other person is old, with kids, carrying heavy stuff.
I am on the polite end but if someone's acting all b1tchy about it, they'll have to move away.
But if we all would treat others as we want to be treated, this post would not exist.

 

[backseatjuan]

it's always me that has to move and get out of the way

IT IS B E C A U S E YOU ARE LOOKING AT THEM.

Whenever you look at them, they notice you, and this kind of thing happens. Look the other way and they will let you through.

 

[user252009]

I feel like the action of slightly moving away should be mutual. Unless the other person is old, with kids, carrying heavy stuff.
I am on the polite end but if someone's acting all b1tchy about it, they'll have to move away.
But if we all would treat others as we want to be treated, this post would not exist.

Yeah

 

[user43770]

I think this comes with the territory of living in bigger cities. Venture out to the suburbs or more rural areas and people are more courteous.

 

[logicallefty]

I get out of the way because i don’t like touching strangers.

 

[user43770]

I get out of the way because i don’t like touching strangers.

You never know what someone has up their sleeve. Especially in big cities.

 

[user43770]

I try to avoid getting too close to strangers, if I can help it.

Situational awareness has prevented many altercations in my life, I'm sure of it.

 

[user43770]

I've been to New York, San Francisco, Prague, Amsterdam, but the one time I really feared for myself was on the Nashville strip.

A group of guys started making comments about the girl I was with, and I immediately turned us around and started heading back to where all the people were.

I had a gun on me, but it wouldn't have helped much against 4 attackers in close proximity. They followed us, a few feet behind, all the way back. Making smart comments the entire way. This was at 2 in the morning, mind you.

I didn't want to go out that night, but the chick I was with hounded me until I gave in. I knew better.

 

[user43770]

As a man, shoulder-checking people is always also an option. Depends on how you feel about confrontation.

Which, to be honest, can get you laid if you're with a female. Just depends on how bad you want to get laid. They like alpha male sh1t like that.

I will say, if you're going to shoulder check a person, make sure the guy isn't 6'4 and 275 like @FairShake...just get out of the way then.

 

[Serenity]

I have actually done some testing on this. If I start off moving out of the way when walking through a busy area then I'll have to keep doing that or come uncomfortably close to crashing into people. If I slow my walk just a little bit and walk with intent then most people move out of the way in good time. If you walk fast you're more expected to make your way around others. I have done this switch in the middle of crowds and instantly noticed the difference.

All of this is subconscious, it's not like most people think about who should move, they just do or don't depending on how the person they're on a collision course with walks.

 

[user43770]

I have actually done some testing on this. If I start off moving out of the way when walking through a busy area then I'll have to keep doing that or come uncomfortably close to crashing into people. If I slow my walk just a little bit and walk with intent then most people move out of the way in good time. If you walk fast you're more expected to make your way around others. I have done this switch in the middle of crowds and instantly noticed the difference.

All of this is subconscious, it's not like most people think about who should move, they just do or don't depending on how the person they're on a collision course with walks.

My experiences in big cities are having to bob and weave, constantly. And everyone else is doing the same.