Friend keeps bringing up a girl I used to date

[evansblue]

Now, my friend is married. But he's always talking about this girl I used to date in front of me around other co-workers. She hangs out with his wife, but it seems like he wants me to hear him talking about her. The new guy she's dating, how the boyfriend went over to their parents house to have dinner, etc.

Why is he doing this? I don't need to know all that stuff. I don't say anything to him, because I think that will give him the reaction he's after.

 

[evansblue]

But saying that gives him the control and makes me seem too sensitive.

 

[Serenity]

But saying that gives him the control and makes me seem too sensitive.

Does it? Seems like he already has some influence over you in that you keep yourself from speaking your mind about it to him.

To confront or not confront is not what will make you come off as too sensitive or not. The manner in which you confront him is what matters. So obviously don't blow up at the guy, be polite and not particularly emotional about it. If you know he's doing it to annoy you then tell him to stop, if you're in doubt you can fish for indications by asking him why he's always talking about her.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Wive's love to hear about their husbands previous romances. And I'm sure the husband (your friend) would love to be present when you bring this up.

"hey, speaking of exes, what was the name of that girl that you almost married... and why did she turn you down?"

Call it intuition, but if you do the above a couple of times, I'm thinking that the talk about your ex might stop.

 

[Tilex]

What's wrong with telling him to f*ck off?
He's a man, not a woman. He won't be so sensitive about it if you check him for crossing the wrong boundaries.
Tell him you can't stand that evil little c*nt and he needs to quit talking about her.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

I think you were right on the money. He's looking to get a rise out of you. He's trying to manipulate your emotions to get you to react a certain way. Why give him that power? No matter how you address him, he wins. What makes him powerless is your stoical nonresponse. Don't give him the satisfaction by acknowledging that it bugs you.

 

[logicallefty]

I think you were right on the money. He's looking to get a rise out of you. He's trying to manipulate your emotions to get you to react a certain way. Why give him that power? No matter how you address him, he wins. What makes him powerless is your stoical nonresponse. Don't give him the satisfaction by acknowledging that it bugs you.

This^ Not a lot of options to respond to a friend like this. You could say something like this in front of his wife “You sure talk about MyEX a lot. I haven’t talked to her in ages but I could contact her for you and tell her your interested. Maybe you, MyEX, and YourWife should have a threesome. You guys would have a blast!“