What should you do when you and a friend like the same girl

[dude99]

Thank you everyone for your contributions, they are an eye opener for me

Suppose this girl texts me(she did this morning and I replied, I left the rest unreplied), do I reply? If yes, engage her?or just short/dismissive texts

You follow your schedule. If you are busy she waits. If you have time answer. Do what you are normally do. Do not re-arrange anything (including your schedule,) for her. You live your life.
You do your thing.
You follow your schedule

Ask her out on your terms. If she becomes part of your life, she becomes part of your life. If not, then next.

She should never be the focal point of your life. She may be a part of your life but never the focal point.

 

[Murk]

I fcked up big time in 2016/2017. My best friend (since age 7) really liked this hot blonde he met on the train, he was asking me how to text her, how to game her etc. but she obviously wasn't interested, they never went on a date or kissed.

I ended up meeting her in a pub with him (he randomly spotted her), I got her number and took her back to my place to bang that night. We banged met up for drinks/sex 2-3 more times until my friend revealed to her I had a GF (out of jealousy I presume). Anyway me and the blonde go separate ways, I stay with my toxic ex for a few more months - but always denied to my best friend I slept with that girl. In my mind, it was over so why hurt him?

Anyway, after finding out I had a gf, she proceed to pursue my best friend (after all this time friend-zoning him), they end up sleeping together, he gets besotted by her, thinks they are in a relationship (not the case) - anyway over the months I told a mutual about the blonde, who tells my best friend on his 30th birthday. He goes mad, screaming at me, literally frothing at the mouth, we don't speak for 4 months. He even tried to make a pass at my GF at the time, which I let slide as I didn't care about her anyway. but I think that is worse than what I did.

In his mind, I slept with his girlfriend, in reality, I only banged a girl he was attracted to... and subsequently had sex with himself. She even admitted to only banging with him out of spite towards me. My best friend still brings this situation up, in fact he threatened to bring it up last month in front of my GF as a way to dominate me, however, I'd told her the whole story already.

He needs professional help, over the couple of years that have past, he has convinced himself I did something terrible.

We made a pact never to go after the same woman, but he still can't let it go. He doesn't have the best luck with women so maybe I should have not gone there... but she wasn't interested in him at all.

 

[Dam44]

I fcked up big time in 2016/2017. My best friend (since age 7) really liked this hot blonde he met on the train, he was asking me how to text her, how to game her etc. but she obviously wasn't interested, they never went on a date or kissed.

I ended up meeting her in a pub with him (he randomly spotted her), I got her number and took her back to my place to bang that night. We banged met up for drinks/sex 2-3 more times until my friend revealed to her I had a GF (out of jealousy I presume). Anyway me and the blonde go separate ways, I stay with my toxic ex for a few more months - but always denied to my best friend I slept with that girl. In my mind, it was over so why hurt him?

Anyway, after finding out I had a gf, she proceed to pursue my best friend (after all this time friend-zoning him), they end up sleeping together, he gets besotted by her, thinks they are in a relationship (not the case) - anyway over the months I told a mutual about the blonde, who tells my best friend on his 30th birthday. He goes mad, screaming at me, literally frothing at the mouth, we don't speak for 4 months. He even tried to make a pass at my GF at the time, which I let slide as I didn't care about her anyway. but I think that is worse than what I did.

In his mind, I slept with his girlfriend, in reality, I only banged a girl he was attracted to... and subsequently had sex with himself. She even admitted to only banging with him out of spite towards me. My best friend still brings this situation up, in fact he threatened to bring it up last month in front of my GF as a way to dominate me, however, I'd told her the whole story already.

He needs professional help, over the couple of years that have past, he has convinced himself I did something terrible.

We made a pact never to go after the same woman, but he still can't let it go. He doesn't have the best luck with women so maybe I should have not gone there... but she wasn't interested in him at all.

You shouldn't have gone after her. More like you betrayed him( you've been friends since 7). Tried apologizing?

What kind of person reveals something like that on your friends birthday

But are you guys still friends? Is the blonde still with him

 

[Murk]

You shouldn't have gone after her. More like you betrayed him( you've been friends since 7). Tried apologizing?

What kind of person reveals something like that on your friends birthday

But are you guys still friends? Is the blonde still with him

Yeah I betrayed him, in my mind she wasn't interested in him so was free game (I'll always maintain this) - yes we are still best friends, although we were drunk last month and it was brought up again, I guess I just wait for him to get an LTR to forget about it.

The blonde is long gone.

 

[Dam44]

Yeah I betrayed him, in my mind she wasn't interested in him so was free game (I'll always maintain this) - yes we are still best friends, although we were drunk last month and it was brought up again, I guess I just wait for him to get an LTR to forget about it.

The blonde is long gone.

Alcohol brings out exactly what is in the mind, lol.

oh, she didn't last

Hopefully, he forgets about it. You could help him with that though