What should you do when you and a friend like the same girl

[Dam44]

It's dumb to let a female come between a friendship. Unless you both know shes a ho and your playing games for fun.

Let's just say we both drifted apart. I still tried reaching out to him. He was cold

 

[Dam44]

Is it rather luxurious to have a phone and being able to charge it?

Lol, no. An average person can do that well

 

[Spaz]

I haven't 'stopped' being friends with him. I reached out to him and he was kinda cold

Just telling you that it's best to cultivate male friendship.

That there is actually no point in fighting over a girl.

Girls are easily replaced but male friends isn't, and I'm talking abt the good ones.

 

[Dam44]

A good friend is worth his weight in gold... chicks can be replaced. Fighting over a woman is the stupidest think a man can do.

I've seen this a number of times in my life, and here is some truth. One of two things is happening. (1) The woman already knows who she likes better, and she is using the other man to exert control over the dude she wants using jealousy. (2) She doesn't really like either dude and this is all entertainment for her... something she can yack about with her friends.

Definitely! I wouldn't fight over a woman. It's just that it hurts.
Option 1 seems more likely

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Let's just say we both drifted apart. I still tried reaching out to him. He was cold

Right. Usually if your boy will do that he's saying "fvck him". It never really was about the girl.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Lol, no. An average person can do that well

Don't let him touch your phone then. Nobody touches my phone. Not my family and not even my closest friends. And I don't do it either. It's something called privacy. I get that you can run out of minutes with a prepaid card. But 20-40 minutes of conversation? Watch your stuff better.

Also, he's not your friend. How the f*ck is a friend using your property for his own benefit, which is even your disadvantage in this case?! Pure backstabber, man. I've never in my life liked the same woman as one of my friends. We always hunt in different areas. If you both discover a unique hot pepper of a woman at the same time, toss a coin. The winner gets a shot. Simple as that. No lying, no backstabbing, only the proper way of honorable gentlemen.

 

[Dam44]

You had your chance with the woman, and lost it. Move on. She is the one you should be ditching.

Your buddy is just a guy, and he is doing what a Man should do. Getting in the pants of a receptive woman.

Don't be a ***** and don't create drama with him. Women are like trains ...there will be another by in 15 minutes.

I recall a woman from a neighboring university I bedded after a couple of dates and managed to double my lay count after a week or so. She was on the rebound and predictably she dumped my needy ass. A couple weeks later I hooked up with a hot chick in my Biology lab and started dating her. Then came to find out Girl 1 was now dating my buddy. You know what made it better? I was Facking some one else who was better looking....


Post script...During Spring Break later that year, she traveled 800 miles to a town near my hometown and contacted me to meet up. I had a chance to probably screw her but I held off.... I didn't want to give her the satisfaction.

Hmm

You had your chance with the woman, and lost it. Move on. She is the one you should be ditching.

Your buddy is just a guy, and he is doing what a Man should do. Getting in the pants of a receptive woman.

Don't be a ***** and don't create drama with him. Women are like trains ...there will be another by in 15 minutes.

I recall a woman from a neighboring university I bedded after a couple of dates and managed to double my lay count after a week or so. She was on the rebound and predictably she dumped my needy ass. A couple weeks later I hooked up with a hot chick in my Biology lab and started dating her. Then came to find out Girl 1 was now dating my buddy. You know what made it better? I was Facking some one else who was better looking....


Post script...During Spring Break later that year, she traveled 800 miles to a town near my hometown and contacted me to meet up. I had a chance to probably screw her but I held off.... I didn't want to give her the satisfaction.

I won't create any drama. Thanks

I'm just being careful with girls at school. I have a reputation to protect.

I can't wait to get a really hot girl. It would turn many green

 

[Dam44]

If she's been persistently single she probably does use her men situations as entertainment for her kids.

We're young. No kids at all

 

[Dam44]

Don't let him touch your phone then. Nobody touches my phone. Not my family and not even my closest friends. And I don't do it either. It's something called privacy. I get that you can run out of minutes with a prepaid card. But 20-40 minutes of conversation? Watch your stuff better.

Also, he's not your friend. How the f*ck is a friend using your property for his own benefit, which is even your disadvantage in this case?! Pure backstabber, man. I've never in my life liked the same woman as one of my friends. We always hunt in different areas. If you both discover a unique hot pepper of a woman at the same time, toss a coin. The winner gets a shot. Simple as that. No lying, no backstabbing, only the proper way of honorable gentlemen.

I've stopped giving my phone is since then. I guess I liked and trusted him

I'll keep a coin in my wallet in case of next time (just kidding)

 

[HyenaPrince]

I've stopped giving my phone is since then. I guess I liked and trusted him

I'll keep a coin in my wallet in case of next time (just kidding)

So? What about the chick? Do you see her regularly around the college premises?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

In the animal kingdom, that's true. But I wouldn't do that to a friend

Something I made sure I did was to be laid-back. I didn't actually like it was a competition

But we have the same instincts as animals is my point. We have the ability to try and mask it better than they do tho. But not always.

 

[HyenaPrince]

But we have the same instincts as animals is my point. We have the ability to try and mask it better than they do tho. But not always.

With wolves, for example, it's different. The alpha male breeds with the alpha female. Wolves have alphas for both genders. The male alpha leads the male wolves and the female alpha leads the female wolves. Nonetheless, the alpha male is above the alpha female and thus leads the whole pack.

Also, alpha wolves aren't always the strongest or biggest wolves in the pack. They're born to lead. It's their mannerisms and characters that make them alpha. They are very similar to humans in a lot of aspects. Extremely interesting animals.

 

[Dam44]

So? What about the chick? Do you see her regularly around the college premises?

Yes I do see her almost every lecture day. We have classes together. I felt things were going well between us just before the lockdown so I tried to make a move. https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/advice-what-do-i-do-with-this-girl.265317/
It didn't go too well

I stopped texting or calling her for a few weeks now. She's been initiating them herself.
There's lockdown so schools are closed, I can't see her. I got advice here to limit e-interaction & I'm following that.

I'm waiting till schools reopen. Hopefully she doesn't think I'm no longer interested cos I no longer text or call first

About the girl, neither of us has her but I really like her though

 

[Dam44]

But we have the same instincts as animals is my point. We have the ability to try and mask it better than they do tho. But not always.

True, I get it now

 

[Dam44]

Friends who go after your girl aren't your friends, but this is a gray area. You weren't even really pursuing her. If it was me, and you expressed an interest in a girl you weren't pursuing, but we were hitting it off, and she was pursuing me....if we were R E A L L Y good friends, I'd probably still leave her alone, because there are plenty of women, and close friends are rare. But, if we weren't that close, I might just give in, with apologies.

I guess not really going after her was my mistake. Probably because I'm inexperienced

Anyways, I have learnt from it. Always go after what you want.

I think something else we did wrong too is pretending nothing was happening

BTW, how do I really pursue a girl in case of next time?

 

[Georgepithyou]

It's a lot harder to make male friends then it is to get a girlfriend, trust me listen to everyone here and don't ruin a friendship for a girl

 

[Dam44]

It's a lot harder to make male friends then it is to get a girlfriend, trust me listen to everyone here and don't ruin a friendship for a girl

I won't ruin it. Thanks

 

[Dam44]

How is all circumstantial. If you're in school, right now, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Get through school.

As you've already discovered, worrying about girls can be a great big pain in the asss, and distraction from self-improvement. Focus on being the perfect YOU, not on finding the perfect girl(there aren't any).

Your job as a man isn't to chase girls. Historically, chasing girls was what weak men did, for validation, while strong men were off doing what men do.

Just work on being the strongest man you can become. You'll earn the respect of other men. Women will see the respect you receive from other men...and then the women will flock to you...and attempt to destroy you.

That's the way of the world.

Thank you

...and then the women will flock to you...and attempt to destroy you.

That's the way of the world.

Do all women try to do this? And why?

 

[Dam44]

It's an exaggeration....kinda. The fact is that even a "unicorn" can turn into a dragon, for a man who doesn't remain dominant(not domineering...that's usually indicative of insecurity). So, yes; it isn't that "they're all like that," but being in an LTR/marriage with a woman is like adopting a child; she came into the world with a personality, and you didn't raise her for the first 18-24 years, but you still have to train her like you would a child, and if you spoil her, are neglectful, too permissive, or (God help ya) let her think she's in charge, your life with her will become a living Hell, especially if you have children with her. So, she comes to you looking for a daddy, and if you decide you want a mommy, instead, she'll wreck your world.

Oh, it's clear now. Never let her be in charge!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Thank you

Do all women try to do this? And why?

Because they didnt build or or weren't part of your building. The environment they are a part of wants that done. Im really having a hard go of doing all this building then sliding in a female which had no part in it. Very high odds for her to start tearing down or taking for granted.