Today's reality and exact opposites

[Spaz]

Great Post @Glassguy

Yes @Roober , it's leadership failure but they rather blame the chick, that's the root cause of these men remaining in a cycle of frustration when it comes to women.

 

[MrWood]

OP post is on target, good summary of how it really is.

 

[Glassguy]

I do see what your saying. However, I'm not convinced good women really leave alpha males. I imagine @Glassguy has had many solid women wait around for him, only to eventually give up. I also imagine had he chosen to LTR them, they wouldnt have strayed either.

When a man is left in the shadows, it is important to look at himself before he assumes that she is garbage. It's quite possible, and I would argue more than likely, that these men weren't alphas at all,but imposters.

-Maybe he ignored the drug addiction?
-Maybe she displayed interest in other men.
-Countless of mismatches of personal values

"Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world"

Agreed.

You can only wear a hat that is not your own for a short duration of time before it all goes south. Eventually the true person shines through and these women see the beta instead of the potential alpha. These betas that impose as alphas are probably the worst section of men. They would probably just be better off realizing they are beta providers and take their medicine.

I think the single most common reason that a man cannot get over the hump in terms of moving from beta to a somewhat alpha is the fact that they wont risk doing what they already know is needed in fear of losing a woman. The scarcity mindset is real and abundant.

As to me, I have lost many good LTR prospects due to running a rotation. If you only spin plates that would in turn become a good LTR, this will happen and its unavoidable. At this point in my life a rotation suits me well. It is not a woman issue as to why I am not in a LTR, rather me. I would be doing myself a disservice to put any woman in my rotation into a relationship with me at this point (and I relay that to a plate that I've spun for a long period).

Maybe in the next year or two when my daughter has moved on to college, playing volleyball in college and leaving me with tons more free time will I be in a LTR. Who knows. But other factors wont change.

1.) I like women. Not a woman.
2.) I am simply too busy to devote the time and energy it takes to have a happy relationship and frankly, I like my peace and quiet when I want and need it without being questioned about it.
3.) ALL interest/attraction has an expiration date.
4.) I have several other hobbies outside of business that make me very happy.

The key to a rotation is knowing that you will eventually have some that stop chasing the carrot and drop off. So you have to have a few in the shadows that you are ready to pull into the game.

Think of MLB. You have the show and you have the farm teams. When a player gets injured, retires or gets traded, they call up the person that has been groomed to step in and perform. That is my rotation in a nutshell.

I've never really been a beta but through my divorce and a really bad breakup afterwards I did show some beta tendencies and actions. But I got back on track, strong frame as ever, and if and when I get into a LTR, there is no doubt that will carry over to lead the relationship and not allow a LTR to put me into a weak frame. Ever.

Because I know how easy it is to just bounce from a LTR and pick up a rotation again if need be.

A little off topic I know, but any man that is interested in a rotation should understand that if your plates are high value, you will not be able to keep them chasing forever. But there are also people who date for a year and realize they are not that compatible after all. A rotation just keeps things new and fresh longer because it slows down the mental attachment phase (for me....not the women) and it also does what is needed to provide a strong frame simply through the abundance mindset.

As far as good women leaving true alpha males- I think they do leave them but they have that itch that a beta male cant scratch. So they go back after realizing this.

 

[Alvafe]

Pretty sure everyone gets tired of banging the same chick after the first few times lol. Is why I struggle with relationships...even if this girl tried to lock me down in a relationship I'd be out banging new women immediately while staying with her for companionship but sex with new girls on the side ...is just how **** is wired. Men are not naturally monoginmous creatures. Just am very homesick and bored lately and been withdrawing from an opioid like substance called kratom for the past few months leading to prolonged depression which I never normally have.

that is the deal, both are right, sex are not as important, but you still should go for sex everytime when a woman is ofering, remember, if a woman offer food, you eat.

but you are also wrong on, trying to have a relationship with someone who just want a ****, better you just find a LTR and be done with it

 

[MrWood]

I have lost many good LTR prospects due to running a rotation. If you only spin plates that would in turn become a good LTR, this will happen and its unavoidable.

Very true, and a little bit... sad. This also is that you know you can pull a better HB/personality than the current top girl, etc...

win some / loose some

still alone because we are picky, think the grass will be greener around the corner... rinse/repeat

 

[Glassguy]

I am not obliged to phuck woman if I don't find her sexually attractive or if she annoys me

Either woman has something interesting about her personality for me and is physically attractive up to my standards (which are rather high) and gives off female scent that makes me hard or GTFO.

I totally agree with you. If you read a lot of my recent posts, my goal of a rotation is not to litter it up with low value women (bc those dont exist in my rotation) and women who dont offer more than just attractive looks. I have went on tons of dates with women who were physically attractive but they offered very little more outside of that. The things that you look for in a LTR, I also look for in plates. Socially outgoing, feminine, witty, career driven, financially independent, outgoing and fun, adventurous, etc. I am not interested in someone who is awkward, bashful, anti social, masculine, boring, etc.

If I meet someone new for drinks, I am screening them. There is already physical attraction on my part or I wouldnt be there. The date is to see what else she offers, her personality, etc. The goal is not to bang as many women as possible.

The goal of my rotation is to set it up as if I am in a relationship with 3-4 women. All of those women will have higher value and meet my high standards.

Wanna feel Alpha? Phuck all these chicks I didn't want to date this year. Enough for many guys to feel Alpha about themselves.

Hell I know betas that can plow a bunch of chicks. That means nothing. Being alpha doesnt mean that you can go smash all the time. It is a mindset that should be used in a rotation, dating, LTR, Marriage, etc.

The mindset doesnt change. It is about doing what is best for YOU and the ability to walk away, with many different nuances in the middle of those 2 things.

Some alphas will be in LTR's, some rotations, some just out to smash. Same with betas.

Alphas use their mentality, abundance mindset, confident demeanor and putting themselves first to obtain which ever type of relationship THEY want.

Betas use lots of other things to attempt in getting what they want. Money, food, a house, nice car, fat bank account.

The difference is the alpha mindset cant be taken away. A beta can lose all the tools he has to use in order to get what he wants.....and eventually lose what those tools got him because of a weak mindset. Its inevitable.

Women just want to phuck?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Maybe for some its the first date. Maybe for some its date 5. They more so want a man that will take charge and lead, tell them no, do his own thing, be a man. When they see the beta insecurities, jealousy, neediness.....they dry up like the Sahara desert.

So better take all the things these chicks say to you with grain of salt

Example of what I was talking about-

About a month ago I went out on a 1st date with this chick. Very attractive, high social status in our area. I had asked the woman to join me but she said she already had plans. "No problem. Let me know your availability and we will try some other time. Have a productive day"

3 hours later I get a message from her: I changed my plans. Are you still free to meet for a drink?

So we met up. As we got into the date I asked her why her plans got changed. She had a first date set up with a guy that she had been friends with. During the day he began blowing her phone up. At one point he sent her a message about planning their NYE and her coming to his family's house for their Christmas dinner.

She literally showed me the text messages. They were super cringy. We got a good laugh over it. Then she showed me a few more messages from guys that had their foot on the gas in terms of beta skills. She talked about how most guys act this way, many before they ever meet. And then she cancels on them because she is smart enough to know that if they act like this before a date, they are going to act even worse after the date. And why she shouldnt go out with them after she sees the red flags because at that point she has lost all attraction and interest in them.

Women will give you a lot of good info if you pay attention. Especially if you are calm, cool and collected during a date.
So I disagree with you on this, but I also see your point of view. I dont care about a chick's ex. Most of the chicks I go out with dont bad mouth their ex because they are not low value. They are educated.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

It's a fact it isn't getting easier.

It's just a fact that the game has gotten tighter.

That’s what I’m saying and what I was feeling. If you’re a top level guy, **** MAY be easier. But even the average alpha is having more trouble than normal if you’re not around the sex scene. I am curious as to what the percentages are rn in 2020 tbh.

 

[Glassguy]

There have been a lot of attempts to define these terms, but I think you've given as good a definition as any here. That's a great way of looking at it.

Thanks.

I will also point out that many alphas (probably most actually) have a good career, money in the bank, nice homes and nice vehicles. They just dont attempt to trade their lifestyle for pvssy. They also understand that it is THEIRS and not something they are going to willingly just share with a woman for her sexual attention.

They will also protect what they have because they understand the female nature in general.

I think when a lot of people think of alpha they think of some uneducated dude that is a hustler or dead beat and all he has going for him is the ability to manipulate women. Not true at all.

Many alphas are going to work in $1000+ suits every day.

Betas advertise their possessions to women to compensate for their lack of being able to manipulate the situation with women to their favor because they know through their own skill set (looks, social status, personality, abundance mindset, charisma, etc) wont get the job done on their own. You will also notice that everything they advertise can be bought with money.

Alphas dont have to advertise possessions because they dont need it. You will also notice that what they show women through their actions to make them alpha in the woman's eyes cant be bought with money. Its a skill they were born with or one they honed to perfection and continue sharpening those skills.

A good topic for a future thread I guess.

 

[RickTheToad]

@Glassguy is pretty much right on point with the modern dude. That goes back to how many were raised and p ussified by society. Though, while many ladies are DTF and do not think they want relationships, the jury is still out on that. Yes, when they are in their 20's early 30's, they are exploring nowadays, but a ladies true calling is to have a stable life and kids. Being run through by dozens of guys changes a lady's psychie and f ucks up with their emotions and brain. In the end, if both genders just have hook-up sex and never bond with someone, they'd both be f ucked up in their later years. Dudes would just kill themselves due to going crazy, and ladies, well, they'd get cats. It's happening now.

In time things will reset, but that can take a major event, like a world war, economic collapse, and reformation of the family unit with a strong male figure running the family; not the current single mama or matriarch head of household. I've seen it first hand. I know a lady who's a CEO of a consulting firm in the city. Has $$$, home in Manhattan, summer home in the Hamptons, employees, etc. She got pregnant and the father is no where to be found. The kid is now 5 and is an absolute terror. Doesn't listen to her at all and she's at wits end. She has a nanny, sister helps and the mom too. The mom and sister thought it was an unwise idea for her to take on raising the kid herself, but the alpha-lady that she is, she thought she could handle it. This is reality.

A shame.

 

[AttackFormation]

It's a fact it isn't getting easier.

It's just a fact that the game has gotten tighter.

I am actually surprised that the graph is at 28%. That means things are so bad that they are admitting to being celibate, when we know that men tend to exaggerate their sexual experience. With that in mind, it's probably worse than 28%. And even of those who have had sex - for how many was it consistent and reproducible, with a woman they didn't regret fvcking, who didn't have a nasty breath or stinky pvssy?

 

[AttackFormation]

You can actually think of ourselves as living through a giant sociological experiment. What happens to society in a male thirst pandemic, when humanity goes more strikingly to a polygynous soft harem culture of women and apex males? What further happens when men collectively realize that is what's going on, due to the internet, and discuss it with each other? We are living through those questions right now.

 

[Baibars]

I totally agree with you. If you read a lot of my recent posts, my goal of a rotation is not to litter it up with low value women (bc those dont exist in my rotation) and women who dont offer more than just attractive looks. I have went on tons of dates with women who were physically attractive but they offered very little more outside of that. The things that you look for in a LTR, I also look for in plates. Socially outgoing, feminine, witty, career driven, financially independent, outgoing and fun, adventurous, etc. I am not interested in someone who is awkward, bashful, anti social, masculine, boring, etc.

If I meet someone new for drinks, I am screening them. There is already physical attraction on my part or I wouldnt be there. The date is to see what else she offers, her personality, etc. The goal is not to bang as many women as possible.

The goal of my rotation is to set it up as if I am in a relationship with 3-4 women. All of those women will have higher value and meet my high standards.



Hell I know betas that can plow a bunch of chicks. That means nothing. Being alpha doesnt mean that you can go smash all the time. It is a mindset that should be used in a rotation, dating, LTR, Marriage, etc.

The mindset doesnt change. It is about doing what is best for YOU and the ability to walk away, with many different nuances in the middle of those 2 things.

Some alphas will be in LTR's, some rotations, some just out to smash. Same with betas.

Alphas use their mentality, abundance mindset, confident demeanor and putting themselves first to obtain which ever type of relationship THEY want.

Betas use lots of other things to attempt in getting what they want. Money, food, a house, nice car, fat bank account.

The difference is the alpha mindset cant be taken away. A beta can lose all the tools he has to use in order to get what he wants.....and eventually lose what those tools got him because of a weak mindset. Its inevitable.

So youre saying there are natural alphas who cant turn into betas but if a beta tries to be an alpha he will change at the end?
I had a relationship in which i acted alpha in the beginning but i knew all the time that i couldnt leave her and i also made a kid with her.

Now i know a little more about women, read some books and got more educated but i know that im still beta in my actions. Is there any way to change that?

 

[Glassguy]

I had a relationship in which i acted alpha in the beginning but i knew all the time that i couldnt leave her and i also made a kid with her.

Uhm.....what?

You are alpha but you also let a woman restrain what you do? Oh yeah.....you acted alpha in the beginning but then slowly turned back into your beta self. Therefore you were letting a woman trap you.

Just as I said happens in my previous post. You either decided to grow some balls and leave her or she chipped away at your power until she had it all and then dumped you.

i know that im still beta in my actions. Is there any way to change that?

Not really. I am now sold on if you are still acting like a beta, you're a beta. Sure there are the exceptions but most people are not willing to put in the time and energy it takes to retrain the way your brain thinks.

read some books and got more educated

That is all fine and dandy and certainly a good place to start. But I honestly believe that in order to get out of a beta mindset you must take that information that you are reading, advice from this board, etc., and go out and live it.

I have a dominant personality by nature. I have no problems going after something if I really want it. No problems making decisions. No problems being assertive. No problems telling people NO when something is not to my benefit. And I am not talking about with just women, but people in general.

Do you have those traits? Because if you dont, it will be a severe uphill battle. So work on those things first.

 

[Alvafe]

So youre saying there are natural alphas who cant turn into betas but if a beta tries to be an alpha he will change at the end?
I had a relationship in which i acted alpha in the beginning but i knew all the time that i couldnt leave her and i also made a kid with her.

Now i know a little more about women, read some books and got more educated but i know that im still beta in my actions. Is there any way to change that?

as long you are aware of this you can try to act on it, but that require effort, and most are not willing to put said effort to change, only thing you need to ask is if you are diferent from everyone or not

I've found most single guys are mgtow without the obsessiveness of watching videos all day, they just never go out of their way to meet women and only date when it happens to pop up in social circle. Their best bet is to get lucky being drunk around a female friend and then hook up, or date way down online.

Most single guys at my SMV are struggling but too prideful to admit it, they are happy with the scraps at the table and would never complain because to them it shows weakness. I am a complainer I admit but it's because I have been to the top of the mountain as far as my SMV will go so I can be dating three women like I am now and still be discontented, while they are in the middle of a year long dry spell but bragging "the game is easy dude" because they went on one tinder date lol.

Single guys above my SMV if relationship oriented will complain about how crazy women have become, but if not relationship oriented are doing well via online dating and other methods. My cousin pulls actual pornstar quality from Tinder lol. The thing is, although they are not complaining personally, they still see all the same bs we have to deal with so they are pretty redpilled just based on experience.

they are MGTOW really, or just don't have the options? I remember of a quote, only a warrior can choose to be a pacifist, all other don't have choice.

in that line are they choosing be MGTOW or just don't have choice? that is actually the whole diference

also game per see is easy, as long you don't care about the results, you do it because you feel like it, if you do so just for the sake of scoring, when you fail, and yes you WILL fail, it will start to ahng over your head and then you start to feel bad with kill everything you are

 

[Baibars]

Uhm.....what?

You are alpha but you also let a woman restrain what you do? Oh yeah.....you acted alpha in the beginning but then slowly turned back into your beta self. Therefore you were letting a woman trap you.

Just as I said happens in my previous post. You either decided to grow some balls and leave her or she chipped away at your power until she had it all and then dumped you.


Not really. I am now sold on if you are still acting like a beta, you're a beta. Sure there are the exceptions but most people are not willing to put in the time and energy it takes to retrain the way your brain thinks.


That is all fine and dandy and certainly a good place to start. But I honestly believe that in order to get out of a beta mindset you must take that information that you are reading, advice from this board, etc., and go out and live it.

I have a dominant personality by nature. I have no problems going after something if I really want it. No problems making decisions. No problems being assertive. No problems telling people NO when something is not to my benefit. And I am not talking about with just women, but people in general.

Do you have those traits? Because if you dont, it will be a severe uphill battle. So work on those things first.

I can imagine what kind of person you are. Im not a scared guy but i act stupid when im talking to girls, even with my ex who dumped me.
For example today i talked to some girls when i had break and everytime i talked to them i noticed that my voice got lower.
But im not like that in general. I can be loud and aggressive.
Everytime i approach girls i feel like its embarassing and i imagine that everyones watching..
Im strongly worried about my future cause i have a child now and this toxic ex.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

They consciously choose not to pursue women. They would have more options if they chose to do that but they don't think it's worthwhile. The return on investment is low. Granted, the lower your smv the lower the ROI is on actually trying.

You may as well invest in your SMV. Lightly socialize but focused on purpose. Only deal with ones whove chosen you. The whole Player Supreme "females do the choosing" mantra is to prevent you from tanking your swag and time on someone of low interest.

 

[ubercat]

I think the original post was great. I had a couple of relationships with good quality women in my younger days when I frankly just didn't know how to manage them. As many have said lack of leadership is fatal. And of course they tanked.

What turned things around for me was learning a bit of game and realising that woman were just the cherry on top.

I don't find the alpha beta labelling so useful. It's more nuanced than that. A so-called beta guy might be coaching his kids soccer team. he's taking on a leadership role where he knows what he's doing so he might be considered alpha there.

And yes you can put your woman in her place. But if you do that all the time she's not going to feel valued. And life stages come whether you like it or not guys. I'm in contact with a couple of guys here who still keep rotations going in their 60s. But the vast majority settle down at some point.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

OP: ‘Not miss this part- Today's woman wants to fvck. Today's man wants a relationship. And a man like that turns a woman off faster than ANYTHING.’

i was single 15 years ago. Just got out of a decade+ marriage. Women were just as DTF then as today. And just as aggressive about it.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Third, I disagree that betas make it easier. The more betas there are, the more women will think they can just disrespect men entirely. 70 years ago, women knew their place just because of the masculine energy in society. Today? If you want to replicate that, you’re gonna have to be masculine to the point where you indirectly increase the likelihood of you saying/doing something that will get you thrown in prison. The courts are harder against men, ESPECIALLY young men (ask me how I know—judge told me that I was facing 6 months in jail just for speeding).

This is an excellent point. No one really benefits form the increasing beta-zation of the male gender. To assume that more betas = less completion is simplistic thinking. The side effects of the society being increasingly feminized will be felt by all. We already see that with the whole sexual harassment thing. Years ago, being an alpha is in the workplace was perfectly acceptable. You could bang every secretary in the office and no one would bat an eyelash. These days, you can get fired and sued for sexual harassment for telling a female coworker that you like her dress. Doesn't matter if you're alpha or not. And this type of mentality is spreading to other settings. Pretty soon, hitting on a woman at a bar will be considered sexual harassment as well.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This is an excellent point. No one really benefits form the increasing beta-zation of the male gender. To assume that more betas = less completion is simplistic thinking. The side effects of the society being increasingly feminized will be felt by all. We already see that with the whole sexual harassment thing. Years ago, being an alpha is in the workplace was perfectly acceptable. You could bang every secretary in the office and no one would bat an eyelash. These days, you can get fired and sued for sexual harassment for telling a female coworker that you like her dress. Doesn't matter if you're alpha or not. And this type of mentality is spreading to other settings. Pretty soon, hitting on a woman at a bar will be considered sexual harassment as well.

Theyve been working it to take any "empowerment" out of it a male might get. Thing is all this bull makes forces a man to focus on what he can control, himself.