Unknown blockage for approaching

[crowolf]

Life is going well at the moment. I feel like I'm improving in many areas. But there is one single question I cannot answer yet..
What exactly is stopping me from cold-approaching on the streets?

Going in a bar with a wingman, having fun and meeting girls - No problem
Seeing a lot of women being interested and having options - No problem
Being able to talk to strangers and not being socially awkward - No problem

Being confident in my own abilities - Probably not about approaching (But how do I fix that, of course - by approaching..)
My ego being afraid of something potentially bad happening - Could be true (I read Eckhart Tole and my ego got balanced tho)
Social conditioning - It definitely plays a big role (What do I do to escape It? I feel more pressure to approach If there are a lot of people around the girl that could judge me. In theory I don't give a fucc what would they think, but when the situation arrives It's different..)

Let's say I am walking around with a mate. When we see a beautiful woman of course we notice and talk about It. The idea of approaching women bounces into the conversation, but none of us takes action. Let's say the friend is not familiar with pickup. I understand It's my job to start and show him what we are supposed to do but I just don't pull the trigger. How?

I have heard of "Approach Anxiety" and I don't think It's really that, because I don't really feel anxious. I just lack the initiative to take action. Also I guess I'm not really craving the end result. Sure I would like to spend time and do stuff with a nice girl but I feel like If It doesn't make such a difference If I don't get to do all that. (being too Independent) I want to have the instinct to meet women at all times and places.

My last approach:
My last approach was 2-3 weeks ago, a Sunday night. Me and my wing hanging out, passing by 2 girls sitting on a bench. We sit on the bench (It's a long one) like 20 meters away from them. And he starts convincing me to approach them. I didn't see If they are good looking or not but after 5 minutes of motivation speak (more like peer pressure) he says "I'm leaving, It's up to you". One of the things he said that actually helped me is "You either go in and do It, or you think all night about what would have happened If you approached them?" I chill for a minute, getting present in the moment and then I stand up and start walking towards them.

I approach them and It goes something like this:
- Hello girls, I see you are bored here so I give you an offer to come play pool with me and my friend. We were sitting there a moment ago, now he went somewhere. (they couldn't actually see him so It was kind of weird)(the pool was actually 3min away from this place)
-- We can't, we are waiting for our friends.
- Nah, you lying.
-- No, we are going to the mall.
-- You can sit and wait with us if you'd like. (she probably meant "I am interested but I don't know you.")
- *I hand out and we meet, then I sat down next to them*
- How old are you?
-- I'm 17, she is 16.
- Ah, bad. (I'm 20 so It doesn't really matter, It was a tease)
- Okay, I will go now. So you are declining the offer?
-- Correct.
- Have a good night.

Few notes on this: The biggest mistake is - of course you don't start the set with a close.. Also my calibration, voice tonality, whole plan were bad. But still the set was pretty normal, nothing terrible had happened. I don't regret It.

 

[Kotaix]

Having a stranger start talking to you is an intrusion on your time, this could be why you're not initiating. It;s def social conditioning, no one is born knowing how to escape that.

I think as long as you establish visual, non-verbal communication first, then it's easier to start talking because you have permission. It only takes a few seconds to look a woman in the eyes and smile. If she smiles back and looks down then looks back at you within 0 seconds, that is an open invitation to come over and talk to her.

 

[redskinsfan92]

Life is going well at the moment. I feel like I'm improving in many areas. But there is one single question I cannot answer yet..
What exactly is stopping me from cold-approaching on the streets?

Going in a bar with a wingman, having fun and meeting girls - No problem
Seeing a lot of women being interested and having options - No problem
Being able to talk to strangers and not being socially awkward - No problem

Being confident in my own abilities - Probably not about approaching (But how do I fix that, of course - by approaching..)
My ego being afraid of something potentially bad happening - Could be true (I read Eckhart Tole and my ego got balanced tho)
Social conditioning - It definitely plays a big role (What do I do to escape It? I feel more pressure to approach If there are a lot of people around the girl that could judge me. In theory I don't give a fucc what would they think, but when the situation arrives It's different..)

Let's say I am walking around with a mate. When we see a beautiful woman of course we notice and talk about It. The idea of approaching women bounces into the conversation, but none of us takes action. Let's say the friend is not familiar with pickup. I understand It's my job to start and show him what we are supposed to do but I just don't pull the trigger. How?

I have heard of "Approach Anxiety" and I don't think It's really that, because I don't really feel anxious. I just lack the initiative to take action. Also I guess I'm not really craving the end result. Sure I would like to spend time and do stuff with a nice girl but I feel like If It doesn't make such a difference If I don't get to do all that. (being too Independent) I want to have the instinct to meet women at all times and places.

My last approach:
My last approach was 2-3 weeks ago, a Sunday night. Me and my wing hanging out, passing by 2 girls sitting on a bench. We sit on the bench (It's a long one) like 20 meters away from them. And he starts convincing me to approach them. I didn't see If they are good looking or not but after 5 minutes of motivation speak (more like peer pressure) he says "I'm leaving, It's up to you". One of the things he said that actually helped me is "You either go in and do It, or you think all night about what would have happened If you approached them?" I chill for a minute, getting present in the moment and then I stand up and start walking towards them.

I approach them and It goes something like this:
- Hello girls, I see you are bored here so I give you an offer to come play pool with me and my friend. We were sitting there a moment ago, now he went somewhere. (they couldn't actually see him so It was kind of weird)(the pool was actually 3min away from this place)
-- We can't, we are waiting for our friends.
- Nah, you lying.
-- No, we are going to the mall.
-- You can sit and wait with us if you'd like. (she probably meant "I am interested but I don't know you.")
- *I hand out and we meet, then I sat down next to them*
- How old are you?
-- I'm 17, she is 16.
- Ah, bad. (I'm 20 so It doesn't really matter, It was a tease)
- Okay, I will go now. So you are declining the offer?
-- Correct.
- Have a good night.

Few notes on this: The biggest mistake is - of course you don't start the set with a close.. Also my calibration, voice tonality, whole plan were bad. But still the set was pretty normal, nothing terrible had happened. I don't regret It.

Instinctual fear.
Thousands of years ago we lived in smaller tribes. The rejection from a woman we had expressed interest in could mean the end of our genetic line. So, men naturally fear rejection from women.

 

[crowolf]

Important to realize how normal that is, I think though. Entire industries, cultures, and mental schemas built around just that one thing. Very powerful fear.

I agree on that.

I think as long as you establish visual, non-verbal communication first, then it's easier to start talking because you have permission. It only takes a few seconds to look a woman in the eyes and smile. If she smiles back and looks down then looks back at you within 0 seconds, that is an open invitation to come over and talk to her.

That's true too, but most of the time you can see the girl walking nearby, not even looking your way / talking on the phone / having headphones on and all sorts of reason she won't notice you. Also she may notice you and not be attracted at first, but If you approach her and have a talk you may connect in some way.

Instinctual fear.
Thousands of years ago we lived in smaller tribes. The rejection from a woman we had expressed interest in could mean the end of our genetic line. So, men naturally fear rejection from women.

I have heard of that and It has some truth to It but I don't think It still works that way because people (and their brains) evolve. Also what can I do with that information, really.

I suggest anyone check out a book called "daygame mastery" by one of the best puas called Nick Krauser.
There is no better book on this game ime. Look it up. Field test it.

Did he pay you commision for the advertisement? This book is 50-100$ and has 3.8 rating on goodreads.. I'm not willing to trust and pay that much to learn from a guy who has 5 years of experience. I watched a podcast with him on YouTube, he speaks some truth but the book is still probably overpriced.