"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Kind of an odd experience, need some insight

Apex

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I was eating lunch by myself today. I was going into work after, so I wasn't really thinking about meeting any girls. While I was in line ordering, a woman (40 at the youngest) came in with her husband/boyfriend/date. (I think they paid separately for their orders, two names were called, he picked hers up but she was already on her way to the counter.)

I didn't think much about it. She looked average (not ugly, not hot, Plain Jane). Let me be clear, I was not attracted to this woman, and even if I was, I don't want to steal another man's woman. I know how that feels, and it's not pleasant.

So I was eating by myself across the dining area. I was paying no attention to anyone else there. I mean seriously, I was not purposely looking at her or anyone else there. All of a sudden, my eyes went to her. No big deal, I thought. Then it happened a little while later. Again, this is not an attractive woman to me. This was all subconscious. I literally looked up from my meal twice directly at her. She never made eye contact. When this happened twice, I wondered if it meant something.

Now, this is not any kind of scarcity mindset. I am sexually active and not dating exclusively. After the second occurrence, my first thought was that she might be ovulating, and I subconsciously picked up on it. Whatever it was, it was weird enough that I wanted to share the experience on here and see if anyone else has had something like this happen or if I may have been spot on with my assessment.

Remember, I have no interest or attraction to this woman. I have the impression she was really into her date, so that could be a factor. He was a mature looking man around her age.

If none of this makes sense, I apologize. Forgive my ignorance if I'm over thinking this. I just remember the sudden shift in my attention happened twice, and this has not happened to me before.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Black Widow Void

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Nothing 'abnormal' or odd to what you experienced. I've had similar experiences; telling myself that there's no logical reason why someone has captured my attention (even if momentarily) but it can happen.
I think it probably has to do with them subconsciously reminding us of a former positive female experience.
 

2Rocky

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Nothing out of the normal for a red blooded male. You aren't dead. It is in our nature.

I have one female customer that always catches my eye that is much the same. Not attractive per se but striking features... I too am curious about why she attracts my attention....
 

Kotaix

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Do you remember her lips being red and not wearing makeup? if so, bingo. I also wouldn't discount pheromones or something like that.

Were she single, would you have given her a pass if she wanted to bang you?
 

Serenity

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Two scenarios come to mind.

  1. Your mind was idle/bored and she just randomly caught your attention while you were in line. While eating she was in your short term memory still, not for any particular reason, just because you noticed her randomly. So you look and it triggers familiarity in your short term memory. You then think it's odd that it happened which prompts you to look again. Mostly a subconscious phenomenon and the quirks of a common human brain.
  2. This is like an extremely homophobic dude in complete denial who turns out to actually be gay. By the number of time you denied any interest it wouldn't be shocking if you were subconsciously attracted.
Honestly I think scenario 1 is the case, I just had to mention scenario 2 because it's funny how many times you stated your lack of interest. Our minds occasionally do weird stuff like this, especially if going on autopilot, but it's completely normal. We may think there's some significance to it, but really there isn't and it's just our idle minds randomly drifting.

I allow my mind a lot of room to drift, stuff like this happens all the time to me. There's no deeper meaning to it.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Apex

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Do you remember her lips being red and not wearing makeup? if so, bingo. I also wouldn't discount pheromones or something like that.

Were she single, would you have given her a pass if she wanted to bang you?
I think she maybe did have reddish lipstick. What does that mean?

Would I have banged her? Probably, but I wouldn't really want to go beyond that.
 
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Apex

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Honestly I think scenario 1 is the case, I just had to mention scenario 2 because it's funny how many times you stated your lack of interest. Our minds occasionally do weird stuff like this, especially if going on autopilot, but it's completely normal. We may think there's some significance to it, but really there isn't and it's just our idle minds randomly drifting.

I allow my mind a lot of room to drift, stuff like this happens all the time to me. There's no deeper meaning to it.
I only reiterated my disinterest because it surprised me when was there was sudden shift of my attention, like enough for me to notice a change.
 

Kotaix

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I think she maybe did have reddish lipstick. What does that mean?

Would I have banged her? Probably, but I wouldn't really want to go beyond that.
Women put on red lipstick because their lips get red during ovulation, and it's their way of faking the signal of fertility. I have a coworker who wears bright red lipstick for a few days of the month, and only on those days; and I don't think it's anything she does consciously.

All I'm getting at is that it could have been pheromonal. We're ruled by our biology and we're mostly unaware of it.
 
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