In need of reality check?

[DrNo1962]

Been seeing this girl for the last 5 weeks and things have been going reasonably well so far. The chemistry was great on the first date and the rapport has been steadily building over the following weeks (as has the sex).

However, she's told me a few things on our dates that frankly have made the hair stand up at the back of my neck:

1. She told me she’s emotionally guarded and rarely lets anyone “in” (emotionally & physically). She’s not good with vulnerability.

2. She joked with me about a guy she was seeing who she would let sleep over but withheld sex from him. Poor guy was flipping out...she thought it was funny.

3. She has mostly male friends and talks about 1 or 2 guys in particular quite regularly

4. She doesn’t communicate much with her Dad.

Am I reading too much in to any of these revelations or would these be things that would automotaically disqualify her as GF material?

 

[lamath]

Been seeing this girl for the last 5 weeks and things have been going reasonably well so far. The chemistry was great on the first date and the rapport has been steadily building over the following weeks (as has the sex).

However, she's told me a few things on our dates that frankly have made the hair stand up at the back of my neck:

1. She told me she’s emotionally guarded and rarely lets anyone “in” (emotionally & physically). She’s not good with vulnerability.

2. She joked with me about a guy she was seeing who she would let sleep over but withheld sex from him. Poor guy was flipping out...she thought it was funny.

3. She has mostly male friends and talks about 1 or 2 guys in particular quite regularly

4. She doesn’t communicate much with her Dad.

Am I reading too much in to any of these revelations or would these be things that would automotaically disqualify her as GF material?

Red flags indeed, dont expect this thing you got with her to go very far.

However i would ride the wave until she become too difficul,

Be carefull and make sure you are the one willing to walk away and the one who care less.

 

[dude99]

Been seeing this girl for the last 5 weeks and things have been going reasonably well so far. The chemistry was great on the first date and the rapport has been steadily building over the following weeks (as has the sex).

However, she's told me a few things on our dates that frankly have made the hair stand up at the back of my neck:

1. She told me she’s emotionally guarded and rarely lets anyone “in” (emotionally & physically). She’s not good with vulnerability.

2. She joked with me about a guy she was seeing who she would let sleep over but withheld sex from him. Poor guy was flipping out...she thought it was funny.

3. She has mostly male friends and talks about 1 or 2 guys in particular quite regularly

4. She doesn’t communicate much with her Dad.

Am I reading too much in to any of these revelations or would these be things that would automotaically disqualify her as GF material?

1.She doesnt let people in because that will make it easier for her to branch swing with zero facks given on her part. She is a fb. Nothing else.

2. if she thinks this is funny how funny will she find it when you next her.

3. She is an attention whor. She knows she can pretty much manipulate you to do her bidding by strategically placing these guys in your head. Dont let her. She isn't worth it.

4. See number 1. Daddy issues is why she won't let guys in.

Easy solution. She isnt relationship material She is a plate/FB. It doesnt go beyond that unless you want drama and problems.

 

[Serenity]

1. She told me she’s emotionally guarded and rarely lets anyone “in” (emotionally & physically). She’s not good with vulnerability.

She needs a guy who can read her like a book to the point she doesn't need to be vulnerable. Such guys are rare, you're probably not one of those guys. This aspect of her WILL annoy the living sh!t out of you in the long run and you probably don't know how to handle it.

2. She joked with me about a guy she was seeing who she would let sleep over but withheld sex from him. Poor guy was flipping out...she thought it was funny.

What was probably funny was the fact that this guy was desperate enough to continue seeing her, he lacked self-respect. Still, her doing that is evil, I would have told her that if she told me she did this.

3. She has mostly male friends and talks about 1 or 2 guys in particular quite regularly

Could be a problem, could also be fine. Who knows.

Am I reading too much in to any of these revelations or would these be things that would automotaically disqualify her as GF material?

They're red flags, that's for sure. I wouldn't outright disqualify her over this, except maybe for the fact she's emotionally guarded. I would handle that just fine, but most men aren't skilled at all in the realm of emotion. If you don't know how to handle that it's just a matter of time before this ends anyways.

 

[Robert28]

Her dad doesn’t even want anything to do with her, why should you?

 

[AttackFormation]

Been seeing this girl for the last 5 weeks and things have been going reasonably well so far. The chemistry was great on the first date and the rapport has been steadily building over the following weeks (as has the sex).

However, she's told me a few things on our dates that frankly have made the hair stand up at the back of my neck:

1. She told me she’s emotionally guarded and rarely lets anyone “in” (emotionally & physically). She’s not good with vulnerability.

2. She joked with me about a guy she was seeing who she would let sleep over but withheld sex from him. Poor guy was flipping out...she thought it was funny.

3. She has mostly male friends and talks about 1 or 2 guys in particular quite regularly

4. She doesn’t communicate much with her Dad.

Am I reading too much in to any of these revelations or would these be things that would automotaically disqualify her as GF material?

 

[Glassguy]

OP you say that "she said" this and "she said" that.

Who cares what she says. Focus on what she DOES.

Actions over words. Do not buy into her drama. Keep boning her and realize she is a catch and release....not a trophy to bring home.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Although I think that you have some legitimate 'eyebrow raising' concerns, you seem to be in a good place with yourself. If you are enjoying her company (while also being consciously aware) then take this as a light-hearted situation and enjoy it for what it is.

 

[DrNo1962]

Thanks a lot for the replies, a lot of great info here.

When we had sex last week she let me know not many guys get the opportunity to be inside her (ie you did well to get to the promised land...)

Should I take her word for that or is she over-compensating?

 

[lamath]

Thanks a lot for the replies, a lot of great info here.

When we had sex last week she let me know not many guys get the opportunity to be inside her (ie you did well to get to the promised land...)

Should I take her word for that or is she over-compensating?

What glassguy said, watch what they do not what they say.

You would be surprise of how much BS women can say.

 

[Kotaix]

If she isn't a slut, that's a good thing. Is it true? who knows... women love to not talk (aka lie) about their notch count, and ask about ours in detail.

the 1 or 2 guys she talks about a lot, she's probably fvcking them.

Her saying that she toys with a guy's feeling and enjoys tormenting him like that is the biggest red flag I see.

If the pvssy is good, fvck it. But don't catch feelings for this woman, she's not worthy of them.

 

[DrNo1962]

Dude hell no. That's her flipping the script. If you have sex again make sure you let her no who the boss is. Leave something on her for her to show her friends. She scratches your back you scratch hers. What i pile of baloney. If she said that to me I'd of kicked her out of my house. Immediately. And laughed in her face..

Theres no such thing as magic puzzy. Good riddance

Never a truer word spoken than that.

This lady just turned 30. I’m sure she’s been around the block a few times.

 

[DrNo1962]

....

Potential BPD

Which part makes her a potential candidate?

 

[dude99]

When we had sex last week she let me know not many guys get the opportunity to be inside her (ie you did well to get to the promised land...)

I would next her but that is me. if you do stay
Make sure she knows by your actions that her "promised land" is nothing special. absolutely nothing but plain and ordinary. Act like you have been there done that, and don't give a fack. Let her know she isnt the prize and neither is her promised land. You are.

After letting her know it is nothing special, take her out of rotation for about 3 weeks. Sounds like she needs to be taken down a peg or 2.

 

[dude99]

Which part makes her a potential candidate?

Her self centered mentality

 

[DrNo1962]

Boomerang Love - Healing, Empowerment & Freedom from Abuse, by Lynn Melville

On again, off again nature of some relationships may be a clue to borderline personality disorder

boomeranglove.com

Thank you very much for the link.

She admitted to me that she lost a close male friend because said male friend's GF did not want him hanging out with her. She put it down to the GF's insecurities... I'm wondering if there is more to it than meets the eye...

 

[ubercat]

Wow this is like a complete red flag collection.

Wrap it up good. Enjoy what you get right now because there is no future with this one.

Bail when the drama levels get too high. And absolutely look for another chick. Spin plates always.