In a LTR - if you begin noticing loss of intimacy/interest

[Epic Days]

I don't think she is actively sleeping with anyone else but would it shock me that she is entering an emotional relationship with another guy that could turn physical -- no.

Stormrider’s correct.

 

[Epic Days]

Romance is their number 1 hobby.

It’s their #1 drive in this life. Men are everything to them.
Make no mistake OP. She is a sex machine.

 

[logicallefty]

I pull back and show less interest. Get more busy. If she doesn’t start showing more after a week or two I dump her.

 

[Barrister]

I pull back and show less interest. Get more busy. If she doesn’t start showing more after a week or two I dump her.

This is actually what I think I am going to do. I am going to pull way back beginning today and give it about a week to week and a half. If there isn't improvement I think I am going to call it good and move on.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

In your pullback phase

This is actually what I think I am going to do. I am going to pull way back beginning today and give it about a week to week and a half. If there isn't improvement I think I am going to call it good and move on.

In your pullback phase it helps if you start fvcking another babe a few times. Gain the affinity towards the other babe.

 

[Barrister]

In your pullback phase
In your pullback phase it helps if you start fvcking another babe a few times. Gain the affinity towards the other babe.

I have no doubt that this is correct. However, I will probably wait to do that until I would officially end the relationship. Quite frankly I doubt I will have time over the next week as I have my daughter staying with me. So I will have plenty to preoccupy me anyway!

 

[Barrister]

3-4 times a week for busy ppl is a good number. Is she seeing another dude? Not sure but orbiters are almost always there.

She has about 3-4 orbiters at any given time. Again, like I said above, I don't think she's physically fuvking another guy right now -- but I would not at all be surprised if there is some guy in the wings that she is growing emotionally closer to. And 3-4 times isn't bad, but I want more and we used to have it twice a day. Honeymoon phase is over yes but that is a big dropoff.

 

[Epic Days]

Honeymoon phase is over yes but that is a big dropoff.

It will never come back. Real sexual desire can’t be bargained for or reasoned for.
This is a biological/chemical response. It’s an endocrine system not a chess game. If she stayed high with one guy for an over extended period of time, she would burn out her endocrine system and most likely get sick and die. It must curb off and when it does, in a fairly short period of time, she will miss those addicting chemicals and find someone else to excite them.
Hell, she can even still love you and come home to you and possibly never leave you. But she will get her fix.
This is an evolutionary adaptation.

 

[Barrister]

It will never come back. Real sexual desire can’t be bargained for or reasoned for.
This is a biological/chemical response. It’s an endocrine system not a chess game. If she stayed high with one guy for an over extended period of time, she would burn out her endocrine system and most likely get sick and die. It must curb off and when it does, in a fairly short period of time, she will miss those addicting chemicals and find someone else to excite them.
Hell, she can even still love you and come home to you and possibly never leave you. But she will get her fix.
This is an evolutionary adaptation.

Evolution is a b*tch.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I have no doubt that this is correct. However, I will probably wait to do that until I would officially end the relationship. Quite frankly I doubt I will have time over the next week as I have my daughter staying with me. So I will have plenty to preoccupy me anyway!

If its someone your dating it doesnt matter. Many guys have noted that their wife or gf who was starving him mysteriously gains desire once hes fvcking someone else.

 

[In2theGame]

What do any of you do? And yes, I realize a lot of DJs prefer just to spin plates.

Do you pull away and try to recreate the tension of not knowing what the other person is thinking? Or just talk to them about what the problem is? I have attempted to talk to her multiple times and "work" and "being exhausted" are the excuses for the flatness. Gut feeling tells me it's more than that. In fairness - she is starting her own business but again just seems like it is more than that. Or am I being unfair? Thoughts?

Don't suppress your feelings about things. If you feel deep down that she's getting distant, It's not your "over thinking" or imagination, it's because she IS becoming distant. You have to keep sh*t out in the open and talk to her in a serious way by letting her know how it's making you feel and if she responds like she doesn't really care, That's your cue right there that it's time to part ways.

Tell your girlfriend "Lately you haven't been sexual and acting pretty distant. i definitely don't like it. Is there a problem? Are you interested in another guy? because if you are, that's perfectly fine and let's just part ways or else I'm wasting my time and you're wasting your time"

She will probably lie and say it's not another guy or make up some kind of excuse and this is where you have to look at her right in her eyes and let her know this situation doesn't suit you and you should part ways or else you are constantly going to be wondering what's really going on. You'll drive yourself crazy and cause nothing but anxiety and stress. Keep communication as open and as blunt as possible. The more you act like its OK, the more BS you will get from her.

 

[Epic Days]

Oh it can. Co worker last year. Ailing relationship. He got caught sexting another coworker and guess what. 2 weeks later tells me their having best sex of their life. Never say never in this world. Competition fuels life itself.

Reverse it silly boy. When the woman has checked out. It’s out.
Women and men are not the same.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Don't suppress your feelings about things. If you feel deep down that she's getting distant, It's not your "over thinking" or imagination, it's because she IS becoming distant. You have to keep sh*t out in the open and talk to her in a serious way by letting her know how it's making you feel and if she responds like she doesn't really care, That's your cue right there that it's time to part ways.

Tell your girlfriend "Lately you haven't been sexual and acting pretty distant. i definitely don't like it. Is there a problem? Are you interested in another guy? because if you are, that's perfectly fine and let's just part ways or else I'm wasting my time and you're wasting your time"

She will probably lie and say it's not another guy or make up some kind of excuse and this is where you have to look at her right in her eyes and let her know this situation doesn't suit you and you should part ways or else you are constantly going to be wondering what's really going on. You'll drive yourself crazy and cause nothing but anxiety and stress. Keep communication and open and as blunt as possible. The more you act like its OK, the more BS you will get from her.

Im curious to "glassguy" advice for this position. He spins plates though probably tosses them immediately. Im just curious to how he feels a non true plate spinner should handle.

 

[In2theGame]

Im curious to "glassguy" advice for this position. He spins plates though probably tosses them immediately. Im just curious to how he feels a non true plate spinner should handle.

Not sure what his position on this would be but OP needs to have a serious honest open conversation with his girlfriend about what's really going on. Or else they will prolong this sinking ship and waste each others time. There's the possibility of her trying (for the moment) having her cake and eat it too (interest in another Man while still holding on to her BF). This is another reason why he needs to address this bluntly with his GF or else she will string him along for as long as possible until he gets the ultimate ..... "I think we need a break" or any of the handful of variations.

 

[Epic Days]

Don't suppress your feelings about things. If you feel deep down that she's getting distant, It's not your "over thinking" or imagination, it's because she IS becoming distant. You have to keep sh*t out in the open and talk to her in a serious way by letting her know how it's making you feel and if she responds like she doesn't really care, That's your cue right there that it's time to part ways.

Tell your girlfriend "Lately you haven't been sexual and acting pretty distant. i definitely don't like it. Is there a problem? Are you interested in another guy? because if you are, that's perfectly fine and let's just part ways or else I'm wasting my time and you're wasting your time"

She will probably lie and say it's not another guy or make up some kind of excuse and this is where you have to look at her right in her eyes and let her know this situation doesn't suit you and you should part ways or else you are constantly going to be wondering what's really going on. You'll drive yourself crazy and cause nothing but anxiety and stress. Keep communication as open and as blunt as possible. The more you act like its OK, the more BS you will get from her.

A woman already understands men and understands that in the man world it’s unacceptable. She knows exactly what she’s doing. This is really naive. He’s not her first and won’t be her last.

If the OP wants to survive this, it’s called ghosting. Boom!!!
He owes no explanation. Explaining oneself is playing into a manipulation.

 

[In2theGame]

A woman already understands men and understands that in the man world it’s unacceptable. She knows exactly what she’s doing. This is really naive. He’s not her first and won’t be her last.

If the OP wants to survive this, it’s called ghosting. Boom!!!
He owes no explanation. Explaining oneself is playing into a manipulation.

If that's the case he should just straight up tell her "Im not happy with how this relationship is going. We should separate". Get his things from her place (If he has anything there) and be gone. Easier said than done but that's what he needs to do if he feels she's trying to manipulate him.

Also she'll probably start crying or throwing a fit but he said he has tried to talk to her multiple times and no change so in a way, she doesnt give a fvck about how he feels.

 

[Billtx49]

Not sure what his position on this would be but OP needs to have a serious honest open conversation with his girlfriend about what's really going on. Or else they will prolong this sinking ship and waste each others time. There's the possibility of her trying (for the moment) having her cake and eat it too (interest in another Man while still holding on to her BF). This is another reason why he needs to address this bluntly with his GF or else she will string him along for as long as possible until he gets the ultimate ..... "I think we need a break" or any of the handful of variations.

A conversation probably won’t work, but dread game on her is probably better as she wants to hold her current in place until she has the new man in solid. Dread might well interrupt that cycle and force her into decision mode vs. string along…
Saves him time.

 

[Epic Days]

If that's the case he should just straight up tell her "Im not happy with how this relationship is going. We should separate". Get his things from her place (If he has anything there) and be gone. Easier said than done but that's what he needs to do if he feels she's trying to manipulate him.

Here’s the real crux of this whole situation. He shouldn’t even be in this situation and he wants to go back to blue pill world because he can’t take the pain. He thinks that he’s the only one who has been bitten by the love bug. We all have.

Getting into a discussion plays right into the feminine imperative to start with. He has zero chance getting into a discussion where she is master and commander. A smart man doesn’t fight a battle he can’t win. You only fight the ones you can win. He must take the initiative or else.

Hahaha this candy a$$ save my girl $hit is unbelievably degrading.

 

[In2theGame]

A conversation might not work, but dread game on her is probably better as she wants to hold her current in place until she has the new man in solid. Dread might well interrupt that cycle and force her into decision mode vs. string along…
Saves him time.

She needs to feel he is serious with his words and where he stands. She'll string his ass along for weeks, months even another year or two but ultimately it will be his fault because he didn't make the bold move in getting this sh*t out in the open. Also from what he said in his post, he has tried talking to her multiple times without her changing anything so that in itself may be the cue that he needs to let this one go and get another GF who is willing to show him that she really cares about him and wants to be with him.

 

[In2theGame]

Here’s the real crux of this whole situation. He shouldn’t even be in this situation and he wants to go back to blue pill world because he can’t take the pain. He thinks that he’s the only one who has been bitten by the love bug. We all have.

Getting into a discussion plays right into the feminine imperative to start with. He has zero chance getting into a discussion where she is master and commander. A smart man doesn’t fight a battle he can’t win. You only fight the ones you can win. He must take the initiative or else.

Hahaha this candy a$$ save my girl $hit is unbelievably degrading.

Like I mentioned in my post to Billtx49, OP mentioned in his post that she's not changing no matter how much he has tried talking to her so the ship is probably sinking deep already. We don't know the deep details of their personal relationship but from that alone, Her not making any effort for him, Cue's that he needs to let her go.