Dear Therapist: I Don’t Understand Why My Girlfriend Dumped Me - She said that she loves me but doesn’t want to be with me

[MatureDJ]

Dear Therapist: I Don’t Understand Why My Girlfriend Dumped Me

She said that she loves me but doesn’t want to be with me.

www.theatlantic.com

Dear Therapist,
Nearly two months ago, my girlfriend broke up with me. It was quite shocking at the moment, especially considering that we had just spent a lovely weekend out of town visiting her sister and brother-in-law. She explained that something about their relationship reminded her of “what she wants,” and that being with me would compromise her pursuit of this.

I didn’t fully understand what she meant, and I was too astonished to even push back. During our final embrace, in the park, she told me that she loved me. I told her that I loved her too. The surges of heartbreak immediately rushed through my chest, and my days since have been consumed by thoughts of her. Our relationship was truly wonderful—we laughed with each other all the time, we had thoughtful discussions, and we always noted how blissful it was to be in each other’s presence. It’s been devastating to lose this person with whom I shared so many wonderful experiences.

I tried reaching out recently, requesting that we meet and talk about what happened so that I can better understand why we can’t be together. She declined, and said that she understood my position, but that she needs to be “self-protective.” I’m confused by this because I have always been extremely patient, understanding, and emotionally available for her. Why does she need to protect herself from someone who loves her and cares about her deeply? And if she is referring to protecting her own emotional recovery, how then am I to understand her decision to end our relationship despite her still being in love with me? Finally, how am I supposed to overcome hopes of reconciliation and move on when, up until the moment she broke up with me, there was no concrete deterioration in the relationship?

She could say, “I want a relationship where the chemistry is stronger,” and you’d protest, “But we have amazing chemistry!” Or she might say, “I want to feel what my sister feels when she looks at her husband,” and you’d say, “What are you talking about?

my opinion: You didn't excite her inner hamster because you didn't show enough value.

 

[SoSuave666]

this reads like any breakup post or no contact post on this forum. Guy became a b!tch, that’s all there is to it.

 

[kbbroiler1971]

Sounds like a young guy and his girlfriend sounds like a woman who had a lot of sexual partners. When a woman uses terms like self-protective or needing space, this means she wants to get acquainted with another penis or what Terrence Popp would say a Pe-Nice. What this guy needs to do is cut off all contact and really have total abandonment towards her. Meaning she is dead to him.

 

[Mike32ct]

The sister’s husband is a Chad/Chadlite.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

That's what sucks about being a low quality male.

Any other guy she sees she'll be subconsciously comparing you to her, and finding you lacking.

Everything's relative, and if you don't know your place, she will.

That invisible monster punching you in the face is reality.

 

[dude99]

Dear Therapist: I Don’t Understand Why My Girlfriend Dumped Me

She said that she loves me but doesn’t want to be with me.

www.theatlantic.com

Dear Therapist,
Nearly two months ago, my girlfriend broke up with me. It was quite shocking at the moment, especially considering that we had just spent a lovely weekend out of town visiting her sister and brother-in-law. She explained that something about their relationship reminded her of “what she wants,” and that being with me would compromise her pursuit of this.

I didn’t fully understand what she meant, and I was too astonished to even push back. During our final embrace, in the park, she told me that she loved me. I told her that I loved her too. The surges of heartbreak immediately rushed through my chest, and my days since have been consumed by thoughts of her. Our relationship was truly wonderful—we laughed with each other all the time, we had thoughtful discussions, and we always noted how blissful it was to be in each other’s presence. It’s been devastating to lose this person with whom I shared so many wonderful experiences.

I tried reaching out recently, requesting that we meet and talk about what happened so that I can better understand why we can’t be together. She declined, and said that she understood my position, but that she needs to be “self-protective.” I’m confused by this because I have always been extremely patient, understanding, and emotionally available for her. Why does she need to protect herself from someone who loves her and cares about her deeply? And if she is referring to protecting her own emotional recovery, how then am I to understand her decision to end our relationship despite her still being in love with me? Finally, how am I supposed to overcome hopes of reconciliation and move on when, up until the moment she broke up with me, there was no concrete deterioration in the relationship?



my opinion: You didn't excite her inner hamster because you didn't show enough value.

She branch swung to the next guy. She just sugar coated the $#!t sandwich before she gave it to him. End of story. Dude needs to move on.

 

[Epic Days]

She has no idea what love is. LMAO

 

[Epic Days]

Value or SMV or whatever you choose to call it has very little to do with this.

Women will eventually leave even a very high status male if the sexual chemistry is dead or nonexistent. You might notice this mans sob story mentions nothing about intimacy in the bedroom.

I actually know women who have left decent looking men with Harvard degrees who make really good money and we’re considered “great guys”...according to these women, but the sexual attraction was gone and the relationship became nearly devoid of sex.

Likewise, I also know women who will stick with a man with which they have a fantastic sexual chemistry with, even when the relationship is dysfunctional or completely over. Even when he moves on and is seeing another woman.

This guy was friend zoned in a LTR and doesn’t know it.

She doesn’t want to have that talk with him because he won’t get it.

I can agree with this. A caveat. Eventually, just by being in a “relationship” the fire will die down and the trouble begins.

 

[Mike32ct]

I hope the sister keeps her away from hubby (the brother-in-law).

Next, she’ll be going over their place again “to visit” and “use their pool” while wearing some skimpy swimsuit around her bro-in-law lol.

TLDR: It’s all over for the askatherapistcel guy.