Gone on three dates- girl does not know that I have a child. Best way to disclose this?

[Stoic]

Met a girl off Bumble. Had sex on third date.

She lives about 25-30 minutes away.

Because I think it costs me sex in the past, I did not disclose I had been married and have a small child. Have the child a little less than half the time. Technically, she never asked about children and I never volunteered.

Since I have a car seat, have toddler stuff at my place, obviously she will need to find out soon. I'd like to have her at my place, but would need to tell her about the child before that happens.

Is there any good way to bring this up, causing as little damage as possible?

Thanks

 

[lamath]

Did not talk about relationship history yet? Thats how i would bring the subject.
3 date and you did not tell her its going to be awkward af.
If you just want to pump and dump i would try to go to her place instead.

 

[Spaz]

There's no need to bring it up unless she asks.

 

[Fzatf]

No easy way just be up front about it. Emphasize the kid is with mom most of the time and let the girl know that while your kid is important, you will be attentive to both her and the child.

 

[Trump]

Because I think it costs me sex in the past, I did not disclose I had been married and have a small child.

That’s funny, it cost me sex in the past when I disclosed I’ve never been married and don’t have children.

If she doesn’t ask, I wouldn’t say anything.

 

[Epic Days]

There’s some interesting Feminine Imperative stuff in some of these mindsets & opinions.

Make her ask.

This:

Did not talk about relationship history yet?

This is an opening to be manipulated by her words. As always, her Social Personality is thrown out first so you can build a male dream world in your head. She is nothing like the personality she is presenting you. If she is reading you as a white night she will throw out what you want to hear. Go back to this axiom...”Believe her actions and not her words.”
So if you know it’s a modified personality...then why ask?

Because I think it costs me sex in the past, I did not disclose I had been married and have a small child.

Another Feminine Imperative programmed mindset. You are volunteering for your own head chopping block.
You believe that sex is the be all and end all and this is making you highly vulnerable to sexual manipulation. This is the most common neediness that is exploited by women. It is actually a tool to obtain things from you.
This is also a Feminine Imperative mindset:

No easy way just be up front about it. Emphasize the kid is with mom most of the time and let the girl know that while your kid is important, you will be attentive to both her and the child.

This is again volunteering for your own head chopping block. Telling things about yourself to be open and honest and promising to be a good little cuck if she gives you the golden gift of sex.
It is already granting her the power over you with you being subservient to her via sex. This is the most scorned type of man.
You can do better than this.

I’m not beating you guys up in the least. I’ve had all of these in me at one point or another. We are here for education, right?

These are things that are in the moral code training from the Imperative. You have no obligation to say or do anything. You have a reversed mindset in this situation.
Between men? Our moral codes and ideas apply. A woman is happiest when she is feminine and on board with you.

 

[Smok1nAce]

To late now bro, I wouldn't tell her. When she comes to your place and ask then you tell her. If she shocked say its never been a big deal for you because....blah blah.

You tell her now after you sexed her, she wont trust you and she'll think you only wanted sex. If thats all you wont I still wont tell her.

 

[lamath]

There’s some interesting Feminine Imperative stuff in some of these mindsets & opinions.

Make her ask.

This:

This is an opening to be manipulated by her words. As always, her Social Personality is thrown out first so you can build a male dream world in your head. She is nothing like the personality she is presenting you. If she is reading you as a white night she will throw out what you want to hear. Go back to this axiom...”Believe her actions and not her words.”
So if you know it’s a modified personality...then why ask

Double edge sword imo
Depending on the man EQ
I think there is alot of good info you can get if you are perceptive and experience enough

 

[Epic Days]

Double edge sword imo
Depending on the man EQ
I think there is alot of good info you can get if you are perceptive and experience enough

of course. There are no absolutes in the abstract world. By noticing yourself instead of noticing women you develop the skill of seeing the Imperative in yourself. You are more important than the woman by leaps and bounds. I've read some of your posts.

Again I was just pointing out nuances that men don't normally realize they are doing. It's programming. Now me personally, I would never ask her about her "relationships". It's not that I don't care. I'm not going to give her the opportunity to lie, fabricate or TELL me her positions by my hand. IE: my questions. I want to open her femininity. I want to OBSERVE her.

 

[lamath]

of course. There are no absolutes in the abstract world. By noticing yourself instead of noticing women you develop the skill of seeing the Imperative in yourself. You are more important than the woman by leaps and bounds. I've read some of your posts.

Again I was just pointing out nuances that men don't normally realize they are doing. It's programming. Now me personally, I would never ask her about her "relationships". It's not that I don't care. I'm not going to give her the opportunity to lie, fabricate or TELL me her positions by my hand. IE: my questions. I want to open her femininity. I want to OBSERVE her.

I agree better to observe, but sometime you can create situation where alot can be seen. it can also save you a lot of time. It no her word but more often how she deliver them.

I can see some of that programming on me, and its often very hard to go against it.
Spotting it is a good beginning

 

[Epic Days]

cool. See if it works for you to try it just once by not asking her those types of questions. She knows what you’re doing. She isn’t stupid by any stretch.
Get her to start talking and then shut up. Nod and say uh-huh to keep her going. She will tell you all kinds of things. But most importantly, she thinks it’s magical that she found someone who listens to her.

 

[lamath]

cool. See if it works for you to try it just once by not asking her those types of questions. She knows what you’re doing. She isn’t stupid by any stretch.
Get her to start talking and then shut up. Nod and say uh-huh to keep her going. She will tell you all kinds of things. But most importantly, she thinks it’s magical that she found someone who listens to her.

Done that before it works great.
Also awkward silence is also a great tool, they tell you more you want to know to fill the void

 

[Stoic]

Op is back.

Brought up with some subtlety that I have a kid.

She said that she thought I was holding something back.

Anyways, it didn't bother her and she's coming over to my place early in the week.

Not really sure if there is any lesson to be learned here, other than the fact that it makes me uncomfortable to not tell the girl. Maybe I did it right..waiting until after sex where she's more invested.

Im starting to think if the interest level is high enough on the girls part, you could tell them almost anything and it would be fine.

 

[Epic Days]

Im starting to think if the interest level is high enough on the girls part, you could tell them almost anything and it would be fine.

If the interest level is high enough you can be a felon with heavy crimes on your rap sheet and she will over look all of it.
All they care about is a chemical fix.

 

[speed dawg]

Met a girl off Bumble. Had sex on third date.

She lives about 25-30 minutes away.

Because I think it costs me sex in the past, I did not disclose I had been married and have a small child. Have the child a little less than half the time. Technically, she never asked about children and I never volunteered.

Since I have a car seat, have toddler stuff at my place, obviously she will need to find out soon. I'd like to have her at my place, but would need to tell her about the child before that happens.

Is there any good way to bring this up, causing as little damage as possible?

Thanks

Own what you are. Don't be a coward.

That being said, never volunteer information especially if she hasn't asked. That's my theme in life in general. Keeping your mouth shut is rarely a bad idea.