Should The Man Always Set Up The Dates? Or 50/50

[soulforge]

So who should do most of the date setting?

So far I have arranged 8 out of the 10 dates.. She has declined once due to other plans she had.

Do you guys believe it should be something in the middle?

Or its OK for the man to continue arranging dates?

And what if she declines due to other plans.

 

[backseatjuan]

In my world it's unheard of for a woman to setup a date with a man, in the west feminism is at large, it could be different. She suggesting an activity is not taken into consideration. If she can't make it, there has to be counter offer, or her ass is not getting a date again.

 

[soulforge]

This is a risk a man takes..

If he offers a date, and she declines due to plans, but with no counter offer.

If the man is always arranging the dates, doesn't that tip the balance of power in her favour.

 

[soulforge]

What is the ratio which is acceptable?

 

[sosousage]

This is a risk a man takes..

If he offers a date, and she declines due to plans, but with no counter offer.

If the man is always arranging the dates, doesn't that tip the balance of power in her favour.

LOL no one cares you need to cut down on these self help books fella

 

[Julian]

take the lead and pursue. **** all this 50/50 crap. your gonna be waiting a long time and playing alot of BS games if you are always passing the buck and leaving the ball in her court. Im droppin 3 pointers with these females all day, shes there to assist and play her role (a very important role mind you) and I am there to do my part as well and thus we team, but 2 people cant lead in a dance. the point is grow some balls and make your moves, be strategic and dont waste time. let these girls know where your heads at and what your about and cut the BS. if shes with it she will let it be known very easily. if you are confused and shes playing dumb. cut her loose put her on the backburner and keep the rotation moving.

also if she doesnt counter offer who cares. hit her up the next week again until she either ignores your or decides she wants to go to the next step. these women are inundated with activities as well as other males. so your best bet is the numbers game, keep your SMV high and on point and dont worry too much about rejection. also focus on your actual goals and social game and having an interesting life and the right girls WILL come along.

 

[soulforge]

take the lead and pursue. **** all this 50/50 crap. your gonna be waiting a long time and playing alot of BS games if you are always passing the buck and leaving the ball in her court. Im droppin 3 pointers with these females all day, shes there to assist and play her role (a very important role mind you) and I am there to do my part as well and thus we team, but 2 people cant lead in a dance. the point is grow some balls and make your moves, be strategic and dont waste time. let these girls know where your heads at and what your about and cut the BS. if shes with it she will let it be known very easily. if you are confused and shes playing dumb. cut her loose put her on the backburner and keep the rotation moving.

also if she doesnt counter offer who cares. hit her up the next week again until she either ignores your or decides she wants to go to the next step. these women are inundated with activities as well as other males. so your best bet is the numbers game, keep your SMV high and on point and dont worry too much about rejection. also focus on your actual goals and social game and having an interesting life and the right girls WILL come along.

This chick is asking for exclusivity from me..

If I am going to give exclusivity to a chick, then my MINIMUM expectation is for her to come over and polish my dik off ATLEAST once a week..

So if she declines.. I will let her make some effort to come over to see me the weekend after.

I suppose you are right.. Maybe I should take charge and lead, either she complies or I drop her as a plate.

 

[Kotaix]

Women want to be led. Or... Let me rephrase that... Women want to sit on their butts and do as little as possible while their man takes care of business. It's evolutionarily ingrained in them

I've even been told this by multiple women, in as many words. "I want to find a guy so I can work 30 hours a week" is something I've heard before.

Do what you want, but realize most women like going along with whatever decision you make.

 

[backseatjuan]

Exclusivity vs plate, does she cook good?

 

[Alvafe]

What is the ratio which is acceptable?

the ratio it works for you, woman would never contact you for this, oh now woman are never this direct, tht would mean she would be interested, and she can't let that up, she need to try to be cute and let the guy arrange everything, if not well he was not that into her, woman can never take a turn down, they ego don't stand that, at most woman contact you and then try to toss the bait so you call her out, that I did get a lot, I stoped talking or going out with her, for reasons, then after 3-6 months, she calls me up trying to talk, about how she missed me or how I was going, then I did something if I wanted or let it slide

 

[lamath]

This chick is asking for exclusivity from me..

If I am going to give exclusivity to a chick, then my MINIMUM expectation is for her to come over and polish my dik off ATLEAST once a week..

So if she declines.. I will let her make some effort to come over to see me the weekend after.

I suppose you are right.. Maybe I should take charge and lead, either she complies or I drop her as a plate.

Not the red flag one i hope.

 

[soulforge]

Not the red flag one i hope.

No mate.. I'm not suicidal lol.. 3 in rotation at the moment.

It's a time factor thing.. I want to be seeing plates to some degree on my timetable, not on her time table!

 

[Roober]

Generally, a man will set the dates. However, there is nuance to this. If she suggests something, there is certainly a reason to do that activity as well. Women generally suggest something based on how they feel, and it is generally your idea to suggest a solution for those feelings. For example, she may say she wants t0 get dressed up, so you plan a nice dinner, Broadway show, or a relaxing jazz spot. She may say she wants to get wasted after a long week, so you would suggest a good brewery, a nightclub, or a local dive bar. If she wants to do something active, then you could plan a hike, rockclimbing, or snowboarding.

She doesnt want to think about it, she just wants to know that you can take charge. Do not ever ask her..."what do you want to do?" That never ends well!

 

[soulforge]

Generally, a man will set the dates. However, there is nuance to this. If she suggests something, there is certainly a reason to do that activity as well. Women generally suggest something based on how they feel, and it is generally your idea to suggest a solution for those feelings. For example, she may say she wants t0 get dressed up, so you plan a nice dinner, Broadway show, or a relaxing jazz spot. She may say she wants to get wasted after a long week, so you would suggest a good brewery, a nightclub, or a local dive bar. If she wants to do something active, then you could plan a hike, rockclimbing, or snowboarding.

She doesnt want to think about it, she just wants to know that you can take charge. Do not ever ask her..."what do you want to do?" That never ends well!

And if she declines the invitation? For whatever reason.. Are we supposed continue reaching out in the hope she may say yes next time.

I get your point though.. Taking lead is what it is all about.

 

[Robert28]

When it feels like I’m doing ALL the work, I ghost. I’m not talking about in the beginning but someone you’ve been seeing regularly, say, for 2-3 months or more. Had a girl like that and for the first few months it was 50/50, she’d text first as much as I would and she’d make dates as much as me. Then it became where I was always reaching out first and making dates BUT if I went 3 days without texting it was “so the only way you’re going to talk to me is if I reach out first huh?”. Finally I just said you know what screw this, and I went silent. She allowed me to go silent and that told me all I needed to know so I kept on being silent and now here we are months later.

 

[soulforge]

When it feels like I’m doing ALL the work, I ghost. I’m not talking about in the beginning but someone you’ve been seeing regularly, say, for 2-3 months or more. Had a girl like that and for the first few months it was 50/50, she’d text first as much as I would and she’d make dates as much as me. Then it became where I was always reaching out first and making dates BUT if I went 3 days without texting it was “so the only way you’re going to talk to me is if I reach out first huh?”. Finally I just said you know what screw this, and I went silent. She allowed me to go silent and that told me all I needed to know so I kept on being silent and now here we are months later.

Girls like that are not worth it man.. Its a power play to them.

I am experiencing something similar, where I am making most of the dates happen.. Also the texting between us is limited.

May give her a little more time to get her chit together.. Otherwise will be pressing the ghost button.

 

[Robert28]

Girls like that are not worth it man.. Its a power play to them.

I am experiencing something similar, where I am making most of the dates happen.. Also the texting between us is limited.

May give her a little more time to get her chit together.. Otherwise will be pressing the ghost button.

Yep it is but if you attempt the same power play they’re attempting on you they call you out on it like you’re in the wrong. Horsecrap is what it is. I can play the waiting game better than any woman and I can ghost better than anyone too. My weakest part of my game is I don’t cut ties early enough when I should but my strongest part of my game is when I walk I stay walking. When I’m done I’m done.

 

[soulforge]

Yep it is but if you attempt the same power play they’re attempting on you they call you out on it like you’re in the wrong. Horsecrap is what it is. I can play the waiting game better than any woman and I can ghost better than anyone too. My weakest part of my game is I don’t cut ties early enough when I should but my strongest part of my game is when I walk I stay walking. When I’m done I’m done.

The key thing is to sniff out the BS or red flags early before you invest too much.

Then its easier to cut the chord and move on.. Why waste time on something that isn't making you feel good.

 

[BeExcellent]

take the lead and pursue. **** all this 50/50 crap. your gonna be waiting a long time and playing alot of BS games if you are always passing the buck and leaving the ball in her court. Im droppin 3 pointers with these females all day, shes there to assist and play her role (a very important role mind you) and I am there to do my part as well and thus we team, but 2 people cant lead in a dance. the point is grow some balls and make your moves, be strategic and dont waste time. let these girls know where your heads at and what your about and cut the BS. if shes with it she will let it be known very easily.

Thank you @Julian for posting EXACTLY what I (as a chick) was going to say. Be a man. Lead. I get so put off with wishy washy men who can't decide they want something. If you want something go get it. Ask. That's what men do. And if she says no? If she doesn't counter? So what? Go do something else and quit twisting up your brain worrying about it.

My guy does this sometimes. It's super annoying. Ask me out. Lead. I can say yes or no. Once in a great while I'll suggest a date idea (but I've been dating my guy for almost 2 years now)...so it's a bit further down the road. I'm the chick. I don't want the man's leadership role. But abdicating leadership is one of the fastest ways to kill attraction.

So lead and be done with it. Simple. A feminine woman will have no issue responding timely and making her reciprocal interest known. Give her something to reciprocate.

 

[Robert28]

Thank you @Julian for posting EXACTLY what I (as a chick) was going to say. Be a man. Lead. I get so put off with wishy washy men who can't decide they want something. If you want something go get it. Ask. That's what men do. And if she says no? If she doesn't counter? So what? Go do something else and quit twisting up your brain worrying about it.

My guy does this sometimes. It's super annoying. Ask me out. Lead. I can say yes or no. Once in a great while I'll suggest a date idea (but I've been dating my guy for almost 2 years now)...so it's a bit further down the road. I'm the chick. I don't want the man's leadership role. But abdicating leadership is one of the fastest ways to kill attraction.

So lead and be done with it. Simple. A feminine woman will have no issue responding timely and making her reciprocal interest known. Give her something to reciprocate.

What about when the girl you were seeing cancels on you last min 3 times? That makes me stop wanting to ask you out or attempt to make plans with you. If you give me the “I’ll let you know” line when we are dating, I know what that means. If your kid is conveniently sick the day if the date 2 times in a row I know something is up. So I quit asking you out and go do other stuff only for you to get mad that I didn’t invite you along. I got tired of being canceled on is why.lol