"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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She’s got herpes (AJ’s I told you so thread)

Murk

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You can’t make this up I swear



I told her I’d call her tomorrow. Basically guys I have to lock this off right. I can’t see a girl that has hsv 1.

Did a quick google, 65% of the global population have it. She messaged me along the lines of “I understand if you don’t wanna see me so I’ll give you a get out of jail card.

I smashed her 3 times no condom, I don’t think I have anything but I’ll actuslly never know until symptoms show. Things were going so well too.

In true murk fashion I’m no holds barred revealing all.

Thoughts on next steps?
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Billtx49

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Next steps? Next her and hope you didn’t contract it. She gave you a graceful out by sharing the test results, take it.
Back in the day when HIV first appeared many sensible men and women asked to see negative test results before even considering a bang…
It’s respect for your personal health…
 

jaygreenb

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You can’t make this up I swear



I told her I’d call her tomorrow. Basically guys I have to lock this off right. I can’t see a girl that has hsv 1.

Did a quick google, 65% of the global population have it. She messaged me along the lines of “I understand if you don’t wanna see me so I’ll give you a get out of jail card.

I smashed her 3 times no condom, I don’t think I have anything but I’ll actuslly never know until symptoms show. Things were going so well too.

In true murk fashion I’m no holds barred revealing all.

Thoughts on next steps?
I believe simplex 1 is usually around the mouth, did she have an outbreak somewhere? Most likely your junk didn't get affected.
 

Murk

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I believe simplex 1 is usually around the mouth, did she have an outbreak somewhere? Most likely your junk didn't get affected.
Nope no outbreaks whatsoever
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Murk

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At worst you may get cold sores. I wouldn't risk continuing to see her unless that doesn't bother you.
Nah never had cold sores and intend to stay clean

Shall I just tell her we should be friends? How do I lay it to her? Genuinely liked her and bit disappointed with this news.
 

GrowingPains

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Nah never had cold sores and intend to stay clean

Shall I just tell her we should be friends? How do I lay it to her? Genuinely liked her and bit disappointed with this news.
'Im sorry things turned out this way. You're right, it's best we keep things platonic between us.'

If I were you, given that you seem to attract problems.. I wouldn't even see her again. Even as friends. Because you'll wanna fvck. And you'll probably do it. What do you think?
 

Spaz

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Unlikely you got anything but get it checked out for ur peace of mind.

Not many women would admit they have herpes so she does deserves consideration when you next her, do it gently and consider it as a gift to her.
 

sazc

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Ah ha! So she started with the "water infection" to see if you would be put off by that, and then she went in for the real deal!


She's thinking "he wasn't put off by one infection, maybe he won't care about another one"

Hsv-1 is cold sores and we all probably have that
 

17 shots

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I seriously got queasy just reading that

And wth... I swear ONLY a woman would use emojis while telling you about having herpes

But lol at u responding with "what's this mean"
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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RickTheToad

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Murk, you like taking risks I guess. As much as 85% of the world has HSV-1 and it only appears in and around the mouth. However, there is something called gladiator herpes which is a HSV-1 mutation and can technically be on the the arms or legs. Then, there is HSV whitlow, which is primarily only on and around a finger or toe. Lastly, there is GHSV-1 which is transmitted from the mouth to another person's penis, anus or vagina. There is a theory, that if a person has HSV-1, they could be immune to HSV-2, but not vice-versa. Really depends on a person's own immune system. HSV-1 is not usually as active in terms of shedding as HSV-2; nor is it as severe.

In addition, a new HSV infection is really only positive with a swab; but even then, it's not 100%. If it was a blood test that she took and she was recently infected (under 3 - 6 months), the anti-bodies would not be high enough to have an accurate anti-body count in her blood. I went through this myself with the lady I married and got an annulment many years ago. I know a lot about this virus, and it's a tricky little bugger. They say HSV has been around since the dawn of time. @sazc is correct in her assumptions of HSV-1 and how most of the people in the world have it. Reason being, it was never a big issue until Time Magazine did a whole scary article on da herp. Shortly after, the Einstein's at the CDC moved HSV-1 (which is technically not a STD, it's a skin disease) and lumped it with HSV-2 (which, again, is a skin disease and can technically appear anywhere on your body, but is generally believed to be transmitted through sexual intercourse).

All-in-all, the worst part of da Herp is the social stigma if a person a a healthy individual. Should a person have da herp, they can control the outbreaks with monolaurin and 1GM of Lysine daily. Or, one can take Valtrex. I already take monolaurin and Lysine (for muscle recovery after weight training), so perhaps that's why I've been okay so far. Not sure. But, I do feel for the people who get it. If you are going to go raw dawg into parts unknown, you should at least take preventatives such as monolaurin and Lysine.

Monolaurn

Lysine

Protect yourselves ladies and gents. It's a dangerous world out there for the unprotected and uninformed.
 

marmel75

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Murk, you like taking risks I guess. As much as 85% of the world has HSV-1 and it only appears in and around the mouth. However, there is something called gladiator herpes which is a HSV-1 mutation and can technically be on the the arms or legs. Then, there is HSV whitlow, which is primarily only on and around a finger or toe. Lastly, there is GHSV-1 which is transmitted from the mouth to another person's penis, anus or vagina. There is a theory, that if a person has HSV-1, they could be immune to HSV-2, but not vice-versa. Really depends on a person's own immune system. HSV-1 is not usually as active in terms of shedding as HSV-2; nor is it as severe.

In addition, a new HSV infection is really only positive with a swab; but even then, it's not 100%. If it was a blood test that she took and she was recently infected (under 3 - 6 months), the anti-bodies would not be high enough to have an accurate anti-body count in her blood. I went through this myself with the lady I married and got an annulment many years ago. I know a lot about this virus, and it's a tricky little bugger. They say HSV has been around since the dawn of time. @sazc is correct in her assumptions of HSV-1 and how most of the people in the world have it. Reason being, it was never a big issue until Time Magazine did a whole scary article on da herp. Shortly after, the Einstein's at the CDC moved HSV-1 (which is technically not a STD, it's a skin disease) and lumped it with HSV-2 (which, again, is a skin disease and can technically appear anywhere on your body, but is generally believed to be transmitted through sexual intercourse).

All-in-all, the worst part of da Herp is the social stigma if a person a a healthy individual. Should a person have da herp, they can control the outbreaks with monolaurin and 1GM of Lysine daily. Or, one can take Valtrex. I already take monolaurin and Lysine (for muscle recovery after weight training), so perhaps that's why I've been okay so far. Not sure. But, I do feel for the people who get it. If you are going to go raw dawg into parts unknown, you should at least take preventatives such as monolaurin and Lysine.

Monolaurn

Lysine

Protect yourselves ladies and gents. It's a dangerous world out there for the unprotected and uninformed.
Lysine? If you are taking a single amino acid, you should be taking Leucine, its the marker the body uses for checking protein levels.
 

stovepipe

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Read more stories than I can count of people who went years without showing symptoms for HSV 1 or 2. It's really dependent on the person. She could also have HPV. That doesn't show in a normal STD test. Ask her when her last pap smear was. Also Herpes is notorious for throwing false positives. There are 2 tests, most only do 1 but you need both to be 100%. Cant remember the name of said test though. If I end up remembering I'll post up.

Wouldn't be the least bit surprised if she already knew she had it. Sadly I've known women who infected men, then tried to manipulate the guy into thinking they never knew. Women are great at that. If you think STD's are bad now, wait 10+ years from now and herpes will be as common as the cold.
 

RickTheToad

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Lysine? If you are taking a single amino acid, you should be taking Leucine, its the marker the body uses for checking protein levels.
Perhaps, but I am going going on what several infection disease docs told me. The NIH has also done studies on the effects of Lysine and the amino acids such as L-Argentine; which the virus feeds off of. Our bodies can create L-Argentine. We cannot create Lysine.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Billtx49

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Well, bottom line, she obviously thinks she may have exposed him or she wouldn’t be revealing the news to him. Time for him to seek some diagnostic medical help vs. an anonymous internet forum for advice…
 

marmel75

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Perhaps, but I am going going on what several infection disease docs told me. The NIH has also done studies on the effects of Lysine and the amino acids such as L-Argentine; which the virus feeds off of. Our bodies can create L-Argentine. We cannot create Lysine.
I was referring to post workout not for the virus...

Elderberry works wonders against viruses as well(Sambucol). It basically attaches to the receptors where the virus would so it has no way to attach to the cells and effectively prevents them from replicating...numerous studies have been done showing its effectiveness against a wide range of viruses
 

sazc

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I was referring to post workout not for the virus...

Elderberry works wonders against viruses as well(Sambucol). It basically attaches to the receptors where the virus would so it has no way to attach to the cells and effectively prevents them from replicating...numerous studies have been done showing its effectiveness against a wide range of viruses
My grandma mentioned elderberry. Bless her heart, she made it to 101 and a half
 

RickTheToad

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I was referring to post workout not for the virus...

Elderberry works wonders against viruses as well(Sambucol). It basically attaches to the receptors where the virus would so it has no way to attach to the cells and effectively prevents them from replicating...numerous studies have been done showing its effectiveness against a wide range of viruses
Certainly possible, but I've never tried it nor has a doc told me about it. I am only basing my suggestions on personal experience, doc rec's from New York Presbyterian / Columbia University infectious disease dept, and the reports I've read from NIH and from other Eur-Asian health agencies such as the one's in Great Britain, Israel and Germany.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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