"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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'GOD MODE' NEVER ENDS WELL

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
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Huge MCGOAT fan but playboy is falling off. The rapey accusations was bound to happen.

Outlook not so good.

Whenever men go the ****kkk off, skanks are everywhere, and things go down hill fast. I saw the same thing with Balotelli and other stars. The alternative was the Crosby route who got mentored by Mario.

Biebz married followed by suicide watch hours later lulz.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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highSpeed

Master Don Juan
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Huge MCGOAT fan but playboy is falling off. The rapey accusations was bound to happen.

Outlook not so good.

Whenever men go the ****kkk off, skanks are everywhere, and things go down hill fast. I saw the same thing with Balotelli and other stars. The alternative was the Crosby route who got mentored by Mario.

Biebz married followed by suicide watch hours later lulz.
This guy is a complete idiot.

Have a kid with a groupie?
Check.

Get fame?
Check.

Start banging everything he can get his d*ck into?
Check.

Seems like he's completed the checklist for rape accusations and to be raped by the family court system. Sounds like the last and most important one, prison rape, is ercoming more and more likely. It's the only box he has left to check, although this is an extra credit checkbox but with that one, he's checked all the boxes for complete idiot status. GIOAT for sure.
 

Smok1nAce

Master Don Juan
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I think his living of boxing (getting hit in the head constantly) has effected his ability to think clearly
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
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I think his living of boxing (getting hit in the head constantly) has effected his ability to think clearly
If he never m ade 100 mill, i think he walks Khabib onto a left hand.

This is what happens when you go nuts
 
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