article: The U.S. is in a crisis of love

[MatureDJ]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opin...b92e3e-2ef1-11e9-8ad3-9a5b113ecd3c_story.html

Jean Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University, has found a precipitous decline in romantic interest among young people in what she calls “iGen,” the post-millennial generation growing up since just before the turn of the century. She notes in her research that while 85 percent of Generation X and baby boomers went on dates as high school seniors, the percentage of high school seniors who went on dates in 2015 had fallen to 56 percent. I asked my son, a junior in college, if this matched his experience. His matter-of-fact reply: “No one dates.”

my opinion: The dating meme only works the monogamous schema in which folks are paired off as per comparable Sexual Market Value. In the hypergamous schema, Chads are thrown poontang left & right, so the poontang comes to them without hardly trying, while the normies & below get turned down by most decent chicks, eventually leading them to focusing on hobbies, video games & internet p0rn; there is a thin layer of Chadlites for whom the dating meme has any benefit.

 

[zekko]

When the kids says "No one dates", I took that to mean they are only hanging out and/or hooking up. One thing I see just from observing the Community here is that one of the consequences of online dating and this sort of lifestyle (which seems to be increasingly being promoted everywhere) is that men and women aren't forming real connections. I'm sure most guys here don't care about that sort of thing, but I think it's a loss.

I read the article, and the professor talks about a guy who heard her lecture, and was inspired to go proclaim his love for a girl he hadn't had the nerve to pursue (his words). If she had been on the ball, she should have stopped the poor schlub. She ran into him later and of course she had shot him down. He should have simply tried to get together with her and try to build something. Coming to her out of nowhere professing his undying love to her probably made her think he was a nutball. You've got to give these things time to grow, if that's what you're looking for.

 

[MatureDJ]

When the kids says "No one dates", I took that to mean they are only hanging out and/or hooking up.

So if I have a gal come visit my place, even if we have coitus, we still haven't had a "date"? Maybe this is just an issue of semantics. Heck, even the hoes walking the street come on with "are you looking for a date, Sugah?"

 

[zekko]

So if I have a gal come visit my place, even if we have coitus, we still haven't had a "date"?

That's my understanding of it. I don't think the younger folk necessarily characterize that as a date, just a hookup. Netflix and chill, whatever. There are guys here who are dead set against "dating". They just want to spin their plates and bang, everything else is a waste of time to them. I agree it's largely semantics though. They call it online dating, but a lot of people don't really consider it "dating".

Some people see dating as a turn off. Inviting a girl on a "date" sets expectations, whereas a simple invite to hang out or go do something puts no pressure on.

 

[Serenity]

I'm a younger guy, 27. @zekko is spot on in his understanding of it, my age and below (and a little above) doesn't call it dating. It's technically the same, but as mentioned the word "dating" sets expectations which pretty much kills the fun of it all. I'm pretty sure the term is unpopular enough to change the numbers like that just because younger people don't call it that. That doesn't mean it's happening less though, it just means the study was poorly designed. Neither does it mean younger people aren't looking for love as much as before, they're just going about it slightly differently and calling it other things. They don't define what they want it to be before they see where it goes.

I'm one of those guys who just can't stand calling it dating, because it just sounds so formal in a way when two people meeting and having a good time should be anything except formal. Calling it a date just feels so contrived with all the expectations people have about it, I'd rather just "hang out" and let it go whichever way feels natural.

Heck, even the hoes walking the street come on with "are you looking for a date, Sugah?"

They're appealing to guys who have no clue and don't get that "dating" as they envision with their expectations just isn't how it works. I would be repulsed by such an approach though.

I read the article, and the professor talks about a guy who heard her lecture, and was inspired to go proclaim his love for a girl he hadn't had the nerve to pursue (his words). If she had been on the ball, she should have stopped the poor schlub. She ran into him later and of course she had shot him down. He should have simply tried to get together with her and try to build something. Coming to her out of nowhere professing his undying love to her probably made her think he was a nutball. You've got to give these things time to grow, if that's what you're looking for.

This is exactly it! I totally get how it's creepy as fvck if a guy you barely even know come up and profess his love. It's not even love, because they can't properly love someone they barely know, it's out of control infatuation. Similarly asking for a date is often coming on too fast, the expectations are too high and the pressure makes her want to get away from it all.

Even I would be creeped out if a woman just came out of nowhere telling me how intensely she loves me, like who the fvck are you even? That approach would scream "crazy lady" to me. Had she chilled down, kept her interest in check and just asked to hang out I'd be fine with it.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I would say that its not just a matter of terms as calling "dating" in a differen way, I believe there is simply a different mindset when it comes of relationships.

The average guy no longer believes bvllsh1t about effort or commitment, he knows that the girls is either ON or OFF, if she is on there is no need to overcomplicate things and if she is off no amount of work at all is worth.

Dating requires talking with the girl, set time and place in advance and meet there for what is planned...now add to that instagram, facebook, flaking and so on and you will find out that its a much better idea to call a girl suddenly with no planning and ask her what she is doing and if she wants to join IN THAT SAME MOMENT.

Unreturned calls, flaking, better offers coming up in real time all made impossible to properly "date" in the conventional way...hypergamy on steroids then create two different set of rules and behaviours to the groups in which men are now divided.

Finally a guy knows when a girl is low maintenance for someone only to become high mainenance to him, he simply saiys fvck it at some point given that there is no longer any stigma about single or mgtow guys.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm a younger guy, 27. @zekko is spot on in his understanding of it, my age and below (and a little above) doesn't call it dating. It's technically the same, but as mentioned the word "dating" sets expectations which pretty much kills the fun of it all. I'm pretty sure the term is unpopular enough to change the numbers like that just because younger people don't call it that. That doesn't mean it's happening less though, it just means the study was poorly designed. Neither does it mean younger people aren't looking for love as much as before, they're just going about it slightly differently and calling it other things. They don't define what they want it to be before they see where it goes.

I'm one of those guys who just can't stand calling it dating, because it just sounds so formal in a way when two people meeting and having a good time should be anything except formal. Calling it a date just feels so contrived with all the expectations people have about it, I'd rather just "hang out" and let it go whichever way feels natural.


They're appealing to guys who have no clue and don't get that "dating" as they envision with their expectations just isn't how it works. I would be repulsed by such an approach though.


This is exactly it! I totally get how it's creepy as fvck if a guy you barely even know come up and profess his love. It's not even love, because they can't properly love someone they barely know, it's out of control infatuation. Similarly asking for a date is often coming on too fast, the expectations are too high and the pressure makes her want to get away from it all.

Even I would be creeped out if a woman just came out of nowhere telling me how intensely she loves me, like who the fvck are you even? That approach would scream "crazy lady" to me. Had she chilled down, kept her interest in check and just asked to hang out I'd be fine with it.

Not sure idbe creeped out. If she has a logical means of knowing about me i may be flattered.

 

[Serenity]

Not sure idbe creeped out. If she has a logical means of knowing about me i may be flattered.

You don't find it a bit obsessive? I mean, it's a red flag in my book.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You don't find it a bit obsessive? I mean, it's a red flag in my book.

If shes a nice lady i wont mind. If shes a bytch i would be a little fearful. Womens we dont know about know about us.

 

[Skyline]

I doubt they even understood the question. High schoolers nowadays are dumb with their tiktok, racism, wannabe gangster, and xxxtentacion.

Younger girls, 18-20, still go on dates. The only issue is that they generally have no personality because they don’t need one.