Had first date in a while and need some advice

[sangheilios]

Friday night I went out with a group of guy friends, we hit up some bars, played pool, etc. Anyway, when I was playing pool this woman came up to me and said I was hot and asked for my number, which I gave to her.

Today we go on a date and while I had a fun time I just wasn't into her like other women I have gone out with. With other girls I would get semis or even full blown hard ons and have a difficult time not initiating physical contact. With this woman I didn't really feel that and during our interactions I could tell there wasn't much there, as I found her slightly annoying a few times. At the end of the date she was already asking me about stuff we could do together, so I know she is interested.

I'd possibly be interested in something casual, as I have found when I'm seeing someone I find meeting other women far easier, but those were with women I was into. Is this something I should consider or would it be better for me to not go down that route? If she offered sex, bjs, etc. I'd go for it, as it has been a pretty long dry spell.

 

[backseatjuan]

You wasn't hot for her because she approached you, same thing over here, when I approach women I'm hot for them, when they approach me, it happens not that frequent at all, I don't feel it for them as much as the other way around. There is some psychological aspect to it that men should approach women.

 

[sangheilios]

You wasn't hot for her because she approached you, same thing over here, when I approach women I'm hot for them, when they approach me, it happens not that frequent at all, I don't feel it for them as much as the other way around. There is some psychological aspect to it that men should approach women.

I don't think it was because she approached me, I just wasn't that into her.

 

[flowtheory]

What’s the point of this thread?

If you’re not interested in her, don’t see her again. Why force yourself to do something you really don’t want to do; just for the sake of having a plate?

Go get someone who excites you even if it is simply casual.

 

[steelpulse]

Her age?
Appearance? 1/10? 7/10?

 

[sangheilios]

What’s the point of this thread?

If you’re not interested in her, don’t see her again. Why force yourself to do something you really don’t want to do; just for the sake of having a plate?

Go get someone who excites you even if it is simply casual.

I'm honestly wanting to look for another woman, as I know that she'd definitely not be someone I'd want to seriously date or have a relationship with. She doesn't turn me on to the same degree as other women I have been with in the past, but if she offered sex or a bj I'd be down. The women I've been with before have been 7s or higher, this one was more average and also a few years older. I don't really know her all that well but within the first 10 minutes of our date I knew that she couldn't be anything more than just something casual.

I've never had a casual relationship with women that I didn't see at least some potential with, the reason why I hesitate with this particular one is because I know that sex can often lead to drama afterwards, which I may not want in my life. However, I've also been on a VERY long dry spell with women, hell this was the first date I have been on since the summer, so I think part of my thinking is wanting to get my confidence back and build up some momentum.

 

[backseatjuan]

Oh, you got two things going against for you. Firstly long dry spell, you'd come off as hungry when dating, you need this girl's casual sexual attention on you. Secondly you said casual sex leads to drama, that is absolutely not true. I can see that being the case when a girl is chasing you and thinking she is the only woman in your life, but a woman that approached you for sex will not chase you. Things like these usually lead to good friendship.

p.s. she can raise some sexual interest in you by wearing some lingerie during sex, she'll be down with that, tell her

 

[steelpulse]

So, she's 5/10 and 30 or 35+. Not great, but an opportunity for sex. Don't waste this opportunity. Either hit it or break away immediately. Don't overanalyze and waste time. Be decisive.

 

[Focal core]

Tell her upfront ure up for the sex before you're going to bed with her to avoid dramas. Women just love sex as men do, to the men that appealing to her.

 

[sangheilios]

Oh, you got two things going against for you. Firstly long dry spell, you'd come off as hungry when dating, you need this girl's casual sexual attention on you. Secondly you said casual sex leads to drama, that is absolutely not true. I can see that being the case when a girl is chasing you and thinking she is the only woman in your life, but a woman that approached you for sex will not chase you. Things like these usually lead to good friendship.

p.s. she can raise some sexual interest in you by wearing some lingerie during sex, she'll be down with that, tell her

That's the reason why I was thinking of just going for it, I know that it'll help my confidence in the near term, because I've been kind of struggling a bit with that over the past few months. As I mentioned, within the first 10 minutes of our date I could tell that she wasn't someone that I'd want to be in a relationship with or date on any serious level.

So, she's 5/10 and 30 or 35+. Not great, but an opportunity for sex. Don't waste this opportunity. Either hit it or break away immediately. Don't overanalyze and waste time. Be decisive.

She isn't ugly at all, but she isn't pretty either. Decent/slim body but not amazing and 31, which is actually pretty good for women in general around her age lol. I'm used to pretty girls that are fit and/or with nice bodies, from late teens through mid 20s, so a woman like this is very different.

Tell her upfront ure up for the sex before you're going to bed with her to avoid dramas. Women just love sex as men do, to the men that appealing to her.

That's what I was actually planning on doing, meaning just be upfront with my intentions and let her know I'm not really looking for anything serious.