"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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OMG, how did I not see this pattern all along?

jnMissouri

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So recently I've been going through some issues with a girl at work that showed interest in me so I started flirting with her, asking her out, etc. Mind you she got my number from her friend and texted ME. I asked her out. We eventually went out. This girl is someone I'm obsessing over because she has game. Some guys on here claim low interest, others say it's obvious she is playing hard to get, which is what my gut tells me. Attractive women have ways to test me as some of the gurus explain for evolutionary reasons.

So recently while perusing some of my older threads, I find one from 5 years ago with the EXACT same stuff going on with a different girl at a different job back then just like now, I suspected she was playing hard to get. It's UNCANNY how similar their behaviors are, even in my descriptions. It's almost like I'm talking about the same woman.

-It was always two steps forward, one step back. Things would move forward a bit, then she would put up an obstacle. Over and over again. If I pulled away, the girl at work would come talk to me to give me signs again, just like the girl at work now.


For example:
-be a little unavailable, then when I pulled away as a result, she would come engage me again, giving me enough signs to ask her out again, etc. This dance would continue over and over again. Each time we move forward two steps, then back one, then forward two, then back one again, even after actually going on a date.

I'll update more of the signs as I go through them from the threads in question. But I just had this epiphany that this IS in fact how women play hard to get. I actually as I type this, remember yet another girl from a place I frequent (not work) that did almost the exact same things. Hooray, a breakthrough!! Now I hopefully won't get flustered by the behavior in the future. How funny that posting about these things actually helps you see patterns.

I do wonder why this happens to me only at work though...?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
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So recently I've been going through some issues with a girl at work that showed interest in me so I started flirting with her, asking her out, etc. Mind you she got my number from her friend and texted ME. I asked her out. We eventually went out. This girl is someone I'm obsessing over because she has game. Some guys on here claim low interest, others say it's obvious she is playing hard to get, which is what my gut tells me. Attractive women have ways to test me as some of the gurus explain for evolutionary reasons.

So recently while perusing some of my older threads, I find one from 5 years ago with the EXACT same stuff going on with a different girl at a different job back then just like now, I suspected she was playing hard to get. It's UNCANNY how similar their behaviors are, even in my descriptions. It's almost like I'm talking about the same woman.

-It was always two steps forward, one step back. Things would move forward a bit, then she would put up an obstacle. Over and over again. If I pulled away, the girl at work would come talk to me to give me signs again, just like the girl at work now.


For example:
-be a little unavailable, then when I pulled away as a result, she would come engage me again, giving me enough signs to ask her out again, etc. This dance would continue over and over again. Each time we move forward two steps, then back one, then forward two, then back one again, even after actually going on a date.

I'll update more of the signs as I go through them from the threads in question. But I just had this epiphany that this IS in fact how women play hard to get. I actually as I type this, remember yet another girl from a place I frequent (not work) that did almost the exact same things. Hooray, a breakthrough!! Now I hopefully won't get flustered by the behavior in the future. How funny that posting about these things actually helps you see patterns.

I do wonder why this happens to me only at work though...?
At work 90% of females are harvesting male attention. In the safety of work nothing can happen. Why not get action with other babes?
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
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Already am....just this one is intriguing.
Just like shes i intriguing to all the other males she harvest attention from. Ive heard the girls talk behind office stuff. They feel that work is really safe so they can get all this attention without anything serious happening. On the flip occasionally they use work as a pool of men for dating and sex. Just dont waste your time on it unless it profits you. Be mindful of not giving too much free attention because she will use you for that purpose. Get your work done and be responsible. Get some stuff going on with others.
 

jnMissouri

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So how many times have you asked her out and how many tines did you actually go out with her?
First time, I had told her I would go to happy hour on XYZ date about 5 days out since I was in vacation. She said she would let me know if she could make it. Right at close of business she texted me asking if I was still going to happy hour. I told her I was under the weather so we should reschedule. She said yeah, she was tired/under the weather too (yet she had reached out to me to see if I was going or not and only claimed she had left already for the same reasons after I told her I had already left for the day since I hadn’t heard from her and was feeling ill). She lives 5 minutes from the office, she was just embarrassed that she reached out and I had left already.

Second time we tried to meet up SHE cancelled the date the morning off because of her workload.

Third time we met up for an activity. Not only did we meet up, but when I asked her, I did it in all the wrong ways according to traditional advice, I asked her if she was busy that week or could hang out. She said she was busy X day for an appointment and Y day for family stuff (they were visiting from out of town and she had to take them to the airport that day) but that we could do something Z day (a Saturday…) So after that date she agreed to cook us both dinner at her place (strong sign IMO). But just as before, a little bit of an obstacle here and there by design to not make it so easy for me…
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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