I really wish I never tried online dating you guys

[bigdave17]

the biggest thing holding me back is a feeling of complete hopelessness/defeatism. I feel like I'll never be good enough

Well this was basically confirmed by my online dating experience - which is pretty much impossible unless you're a 9-10/10. I've put tremendous effort into it and have not gotten 1 date. I showed pics of the women I liked to guru and he rated them as 4-6s so it's not like I'm even going for super hot women. I'm going for basically average women who are in shape.

It's just more psychological reinforcement of a very negative attitude on dating. How do I snap out of this and stop feeling like dating is completely hopeless and make myself approach in real life?

Women in real life are not going to be as retarded as the women on dating sites right? I see guys who aren't half as good looking as myself with very attractive women. How are they able to do it considering how incredibly selective women are nowadays?

 

[Mesoherny]

How do you get so many replies and conversations on here but none on dating sites? You're a master at getting responses here.

Ask the same questions you ask here as openers to women. If it is your pictures go pictureless like here or ask to borrow the pictures of the dating app slayers who tried to help you here and see if their theory of online dating being all about pictures is correct. Since they slay it using their pictures you should be able to slay it using theirs. I doubt they are saying anything out of the ordinary that they don't say here.

Besides you get more replies here than they claim to get on dating sites. You can screenshot your threads as proof if they forgot

 

[Mesoherny]

Another idea to prove that its either you or not you. Give the experts on here your dating app login and give them a week to see what they can do. If they were really about helping men they would do it and get you numbers and dates for free with no excuses.

 

[bigdave17]

Another idea to prove that its either you or not you. Give the experts on here your dating app login and give them a week to see what they can do. If they were really about helping men they would do it and get you numbers and dates for free with no excuses.

they're not getting nothing with my pics


Guru is admittedly a solid 9+/10
Amante is also a tall, good looking white male


You have to be in top 1-2% of men to get even average women who are in shape online. I would say I'm realistically in top 10-20% of men but that means nothing online

 

[Mesoherny]

Then ask to use pictures of them on your dating profile instead of your own. If they are 9+ 10 men you should be able to get replies, dates and numbers like you get hundreds of replies here.

If the experiment doesn't work using their pictures then that means not even their looks can help you.

If you are in good with them they should be more than willing to help you for free with no excuses otherwise they are excuse makers themselves.

Its evident you are able to get more replies than anyone else on here so try the dating app using their pictures instead of your own.

 

[Serenity]

How do I snap out of this and stop feeling like dating is completely hopeless and make myself approach in real life?

Women in real life are not going to be as retarded as the women on dating sites right? I see guys who aren't half as good looking as myself with very attractive women. How are they able to do it considering how incredibly selective women are nowadays?

Did you read my reply in your porn addiction thread? If not, read it HERE.

 

[kbbroiler1971]

Okay this is the problem with online dating which every guy will have a problem with. Online dating gives women a false validation of their value. It's because they have 500 guys messaging them so women think they are in demand. Then this even includes the bottom feeders like single mothers and so forth. The truth is online dating is not the only way to meet women. What you need to do is not spread yourself so thin. Meaning don't rely on it as your only option. Don't keep all your eggs in one basket. You can still use it but do it sparingly and then go out and do things of your own interest but don't make women the focus of your goal. This could be the gym, taking a salsa class or one of those meet up groups. There are tons of ways to meet women but you have to plant seeds and not ask them out. Leave them asking questions about you so it will spark interest. The more mysterious you are. They will have an attraction to you. Don't tell them a lot about yourself.

 

[Spaz]

Then ask to use pictures of them on your dating profile instead of your own. If they are 9+ 10 men you should be able to get replies, dates and numbers like you get hundreds of replies here.

If the experiment doesn't work using their pictures then that means not even their looks can help you.

If you are in good with them they should be more than willing to help you for free with no excuses otherwise they are excuse makers themselves.

Its evident you are able to get more replies than anyone else on here so try the dating app using their pictures instead of your own.

Take up this challenge Dave.

Proof it beyond all reasonable doubt that by using their pictures you'll be able to land dates as you're often post comments that you need to be a 9/10

 

[lamath]

Patience man, you need to be happy being alone.
Dont need a women to be happy.

idk much about OLD, but i wonder what kind of msg you send those women.
This might be your problem, your pic seems allright to me

 

[corrector]

This could be the gym, taking a salsa class or one of those meet up groups. There are tons of ways to meet women but you have to plant seeds and not ask them out. Leave them asking questions about you so it will spark interest. The more mysterious you are. They will have an attraction to you. Don't tell them a lot about yourself .

You mentioned the gym and salsa class, that only works if the girl approaches you first in the first place or you come across like a desperate creeper and always have an awkwardness about these situations. Most women are plugged into the internet and smartphones so they are never really mentally there. Maybe a decade ago you or when online dating was less mainstream that would work, but in 2019 that's outdated advice. Almost every woman you see out there probably has an online dating account or are meeting guys online and will have an inflated value of themselves.

 

[bigdave17]

Take up this challenge Dave.

Proof it beyond all reasonable doubt that by using their pictures you'll be able to land dates as you're often post comments that you need to be a 9/10

Guru sends a message of "hi" to women and he gets great responses from super hotties. Nothing creative or unique


Messages mean nothing, it's all about looking incredibly attractive (IE top 1% of men) in your pic. Guru is probably top 0.1% of men

 

[Spaz]

Guru sends a message of "hi" to women and he gets great responses from super hotties. Nothing creative or unique


Messages mean nothing, it's all about looking incredibly attractive (IE top 1% of men) in your pic. Guru is probably top 0.1% of men

Then get his permission to use his picture and test out ur theory.

If it still fails then it's not the picture.

 

[lamath]

Guru sends a message of "hi" to women and he gets great responses from super hotties. Nothing creative or unique


Messages mean nothing, it's all about looking incredibly attractive (IE top 1% of men) in your pic. Guru is probably top 0.1% of men

Man i really dont think its the look, its either the msg or the women you choose to msg you

 

[corrector]

How do you get so many replies and conversations on here but none on dating sites? You're a master at getting responses here.

That's an apples and oranges comparison. Nobody cares about interactions with other guys unless you are gay and it's just retarded to even go there. With women it can make or break your day, make you feel like someone or like nothing and your ego is at stake. Posting something controversial like what Dave posts here just screams low-value to women. For example, people who need money don't get the job because they are poor, but because they can offer something that the company needs. If Dave can't hit those buttons because women are looking for (i.e. they want tall white men rather than a shorter brown guy) and is just failing, then having negative profiles/posts will not likely be helpful to him.

 

[bigdave17]

Man i really dont think its the look, its either the msg or the women you choose to msg you

online dating is 90% about pictures. This is proven researched fact

 

[R.U.G.]

@bigdave17, I feel for you bro. You need to break things down and segment things to you can see what works, and what doesn't. @Spaz has a good point to see if it's the pictures, your bio, or your messaging. Go to images.google.com and get two or three pictures of attractive men and use them (without a watermark) on your profile. See what happens. Then, you can proceed there to see where the hiccup is.

It's a process of elimination my friend. Oh, stop being a defeatist. That's not helping your situation either.

 

[lamath]

here is a example of demographic from mark manson
this might actualy be one of your problem

Jenna is 20-years-old and in her second year at community college. She comes from a worse part of town and has been working a retail job at a shoe store… Her only relief is when she gets to go party at the club each weekend where all of her friends are and where she gets to relish in really hot guys hitting on her and buying her drinks.​

John has 3 degrees, has spent the last 8 years working 60 hours per week and never drinks. He’s maybe been to 20 parties in his entire life and has only been drunk twice. He’s passive and analytical and his sense of humor is highly intellectual…He’s not dressed entirely well…​

It’s not hard to see that when he approaches Jenna, no matter what he says or what line he uses, it’s going to end very quickly…”​

 

[corrector]

It's just more psychological reinforcement of a very negative attitude on dating. How do I snap out of this and stop feeling like dating is completely hopeless and make myself approach in real life?

Look at youtube videos of guys approaching girls and getting rejected and realize, you are better off if you get rejected and you are free approaching rather than if you don't approach at all. Look at lots and lots of videos. Its advise that I would also give myself. The same time you spend looking at porn, try looking at how guys are approaching and talking to girls.

 

[bigdave17]

@bigdave17, I feel for you bro. You need to break things down and segment things to you can see what works, and what doesn't. @Spaz has a good point to see if it's the pictures, your bio, or your messaging. Go to images.google.com and get two or three pictures of attractive men and use them (without a watermark) on your profile. See what happens. Then, you can proceed there to see where the hiccup is.

It's a process of elimination my friend. Oh, stop being a defeatist. That's not helping your situation either.

why would I spend time researching something I already know the answer to?


Online dating is like 5% about your profile, 5% about your messages and 90% about your pics. A very attractive male can say he is an axe murderer and still get lots of messages and matches

 

[bigdave17]

here is a example of demographic from mark manson
this might actualy be one of your problem

Jenna is 20-years-old and in her second year at community college. She comes from a worse part of town and has been working a retail job at a shoe store… Her only relief is when she gets to go party at the club each weekend where all of her friends are and where she gets to relish in really hot guys hitting on her and buying her drinks.​

John has 3 degrees, has spent the last 8 years working 60 hours per week and never drinks. He’s maybe been to 20 parties in his entire life and has only been drunk twice. He’s passive and analytical and his sense of humor is highly intellectual…He’s not dressed entirely well…​

It’s not hard to see that when he approaches Jenna, no matter what he says or what line he uses, it’s going to end very quickly…”​

I'm not socially awkward in terms of my mannerisms. I'm pretty extroverted, dress very nice, make friends with lots of people, work out and am in shape, etc...