"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Suits and Sport Coats

jaymbrs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
1,966
Reaction score
1,969
Age
39
I find people in general react differently to someone who is well dressed vs jeans and a t-shirt. I've become more and more intrigued by the look a suit or a sports coat gives. It's not required at my workplace so I held off in really investing any money into those kinds of things until now. I've been steadily climbing the corporate ladder and I feel I should dress more distinguished. I personally own 1 business suit and 1 sports coat, both altered to fit me very well. While I love the idea of owning more of these types of things, it seems the money I spend on them go towards the alterations place / tailor.

My problem is I'm 5'9 but I'm pretty broad in the shoulders, chest and back. So the sleeves and body are always long and sometimes the jacket is too wide.

Can anyone recommend a place to buy suits where free/inexpensive tailoring is offered?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

jaymbrs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
1,966
Reaction score
1,969
Age
39
I'm convinced that I want nothing to do with free/inexpensive tailoring. If you can, stick to an independent tailor. You'll pay more, but the level of craftsmanship and passion will likely be unsurpassed. Avoid tailoring particularly at Macy's and Neiman Marcus, but offer to buy the suit at a discounted price and apply the money saved toward a mom-and-pops type of place. Google reviews are your friend.

Also, and this is based on my personal experience: avoid Male tailors. They're all arrogant and seem to think they're the greatest.
These things seem to be the few things to own where one has leeway in how it fits before it just looks wrong. I guess investing in a well reviewed tailor is the smartest thing to do, although it really hits my wallet hard. My sports coat for example was purchased on sale for about $150 and the alterations it required was $120. It sucked but I guess it paid off.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,411
Reaction score
5,174
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
These things seem to be the few things to own where one has leeway in how it fits before it just looks wrong. I guess investing in a well reviewed tailor is the smartest thing to do, although it really hits my wallet hard. My sports coat for example was purchased on sale for about $150 and the alterations it required was $120. It sucked but I guess it paid off.
I get your point about the cost, but we are talking about nice pieces that you’ll have for at least a few years, possibly more.
 

Billtx49

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 23, 2013
Messages
5,989
Reaction score
5,410
Location
DFW
I find people in general react differently to someone who is well dressed vs jeans and a t-shirt. I've become more and more intrigued by the look a suit or a sports coat gives. It's not required at my workplace so I held off in really investing any money into those kinds of things until now. I've been steadily climbing the corporate ladder and I feel I should dress more distinguished. I personally own 1 business suit and 1 sports coat, both altered to fit me very well. While I love the idea of owning more of these types of things, it seems the money I spend on them go towards the alterations place / tailor.

My problem is I'm 5'9 but I'm pretty broad in the shoulders, chest and back. So the sleeves and body are always long and sometimes the jacket is too wide.

Can anyone recommend a place to buy suits where free/inexpensive tailoring is offered?
I’m 5-11 and I have wide shoulders and full chest also. I prefer Oscar De La Renta in a sports coat for off the rack fit…
 
Last edited:

R.U.G.

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 15, 2018
Messages
1,797
Reaction score
1,218
I've had very good success with Brooks Brothers and Charles Tyrwhitt. I buy them online or at the store and then take them to my tailor. Costs between 75 - 125 bucks to tailor a suit correctly around here. I've also tailored pants, jeans and jackets for around 20 bucks a pop. Fit is everything.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

jaymbrs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
1,966
Reaction score
1,969
Age
39
I wear sport coats daily. I've had good luck with online purchases at places like Macy's and even JCPenny (I know, hard to believe). With Macy's sometimes I've found good stuff on sale for as low as $30-40, often for less than $100 anyway. That would make bringing it to the tailor less of an add-on. There just seems to be a lot more online inventory with some of these stores. The downside is you can't try it on. But you can always return by mail or in the store. Tailoring jackets is always going to cost money because they're so delicate.
I made a face when I read Macy’s and JC Penney ha. The sports coat I own is from Joseph a bank and after the alteration it looks great. However I did order another jacket from them, same size and it fit ridiculously big. I’m convinced the products that are on a ridiculous sale are poorly made and are faulty.
 

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
5,520
Reaction score
5,702
OP, what do you do for a living? And where do you live? I would recommend staying away from $70 sports jackets and $120 suits. Nothing screams "used car salesman" louder than a cheap suit. And you can tell a cheap suit from a mile away, regardless of the alterations, believe me. Buy a nicer suit if you can afford it. And if you can't, you probably don't need to wear one to work anyway. Hugo Boss is generally considered the cheapest "decent" suit that you can buy off the rack (they can often be bought on sale at half of their full retail value).
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,329
Reaction score
6,875
When there's an occasion to wear, I'll use a 3 piece suit that's tailored by an independent small tailor shop. Find one that's family (grandfather-father-son) owned and still in practise. They'll cut it so that it's flattering to your height and figure.

Use Italian fabrics.
 

jaymbrs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
1,966
Reaction score
1,969
Age
39
OP, what do you do for a living? And where do you live? I would recommend staying away from $70 sports jackets and $120 suits. Nothing screams "used car salesman" louder than a cheap suit. And you can tell a cheap suit from a mile away, regardless of the alterations, believe me. Buy a nicer suit if you can afford it. And if you can't, you probably don't need to wear one to work anyway. Hugo Boss is generally considered the cheapest "decent" suit that you can buy off the rack (they can often be bought on sale at half of their full retail value).
Yea I hear you. I currently bringing in 60k annually, but on a fast track. Thing is while I’m not required to wear suits on a daily basis, i do need to wear one for interviews or business meetings with clients or upper management. So I’ve been working on adding more to my wardrobe so it doesn’t appear I’m wearing the same thing every time.
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,329
Reaction score
6,875
Yea I hear you. I currently bringing in 60k annually, but on a fast track. Thing is while I’m not required to wear suits on a daily basis, i do need to wear one for interviews or business meetings with clients or upper management. So I’ve been working on adding more to my wardrobe so it doesn’t appear I’m wearing the same thing every time.
Get a 3 piece. Tailor made not those of the rack stuff.

Here's some examples;

Checkered-Suit-Brown-2-R1995.jpg 0cdeec1a1815637b3fa63727153d2f41.jpg 9440.Jpg
 

jaymbrs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
1,966
Reaction score
1,969
Age
39
I have several sport coats, they are great for a work in the corporate environment.

Suits are often sported by types that are not that important really (office guards). Wealthiest/most powerful guy I know dresses rather casually so I'd not get fixated on that clothing - lack of it can actually mask your intentions well. Sporting suits too often will make you look powerhungry/narcisstic when the rest wears less official clothes to work ("he wants to get promoted so hard" etc.).

Don't try to outshine the master for sure.
I hear what you’re saying but I’m not looking to dress in suits to appear richer, but to look nicer.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
5,426
Reaction score
7,958
Age
57
If you want a neat tip here's one. Bergdorf Goodman has sales in January and July. Major sales on very high end off the rack brands like Canali, and Armani for example. 70% off as they clear merchandise for the incoming season.

My ex husband has beautiful Italian suits in gorgeous Italian fabrics that were bought at Bergdorf's in NYC at summer sales and at winter sales. He had them tailored at Bergdorf's by a wonderful tailor from Casa Blanca who has been a tailor there for many years who gave each suit an impeccable custom fit. They look bespoke.

Generally I agree with the advice to get an established and reputable old school independent tailor shop to do the alterations, but I found Bergdorf's to be an exception.

When you are getting a $2000.00 suit for $600 you still are wearing a $2000.00 suit. Nobody knows you bought at a deep discount. All people see is how well dressed you are.

It makes a HUGE difference in how you present yourself when you are really well put together. We would travel to NYC for these sales and a weekend getaway. Bergdorf's had many well to do customers who did as we did. Food for thought.
 

jaymbrs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
1,966
Reaction score
1,969
Age
39
If you want a neat tip here's one. Bergdorf Goodman has sales in January and July. Major sales on very high end off the rack brands like Canali, and Armani for example. 70% off as they clear merchandise for the incoming season.

My ex husband has beautiful Italian suits in gorgeous Italian fabrics that were bought at Bergdorf's in NYC at summer sales and at winter sales. He had them tailored at Bergdorf's by a wonderful tailor from Casa Blanca who has been a tailor there for many years who gave each suit an impeccable custom fit. They look bespoke.

Generally I agree with the advice to get an established and reputable old school independent tailor shop to do the alterations, but I found Bergdorf's to be an exception.

When you are getting a $2000.00 suit for $600 you still are wearing a $2000.00 suit. Nobody knows you bought at a deep discount. All people see is how well dressed you are.

It makes a HUGE difference in how you present yourself when you are really well put together. We would travel to NYC for these sales and a weekend getaway. Bergdorf's had many well to do customers who did as we did. Food for thought.
Very awesome suggestion! I had no idea.
 
Top