In the future how should I handle a woman like this?

[sangheilios]

I had approached this girl at my gym earlier in the fall, around early September. Prior to approaching her I noticed her checking me out here and there, one particular time I had held the door to the aerobics room open for her and she locks eyes with me and smiles, so I felt pretty confident with my approach. My approach I had gone over to her and she has a big smile on her face and we end up talking for about 10 minutes so I decided to go for her number, which is when she tells me she has a boyfriend. I leave and go back to my workout but before she left she went out of her way say goodbye to me, so this added a bit to the confusion.

Anyway, I had spoken to her a couple more times after that and she was always pretty open with me, huge smile and everything, but I kept our conversations brief. A little over a month ago we were talking and I ask if she was busy later, which she wasn't, and then proceeded to ask her out for that evening. She then asks me if I'd be comfortable with that since she has a boyfriend, I hesitated and she then says I probably wouldn't be and then I leave shortly after. We kept talking after that but I kept it friendly and very brief.

Anyway, last Saturday she was really short with me, which I didn't think much of, but today I saw her and she was giving me a full blown attitude just by saying hi to her.

From here on out I'm just planning on ignoring her and not bother approaching anymore, even just to be friendly.

 

[sazc]

Didn't you already post this?

 

[sangheilios]

Didn't you already post this?

I've approached several women at my gym and made multiple threads, this one is sort of an update on a situation I'm putting behind me and trying to figure out what I was supposed to learn from it.

 

[Chi Town]

I had something similar to this happen recently, it happens, no big deal.

Don't try to analyze it because it will drive you crazy lol.......

Also, women like guys who are witty and have good comebacks, sometimes they will purposely throw resistance towards you, not because there not interested but because they wanna see if you got a good talk game.

 

[devilkingx2]

you rejected her and you're wondering why she's giving attitude? lol

next time just bang her, otherwise the same thing will happen

 

[oldmanofthesea]

You hesitated when she asked you if you were comfortable with her having a boyfriend.
Two possibilities:
1. She didn't have a boyfriend and was testing you to see your confidence level. You failed that test by hesitating.
2. She does have a boyfriend and was hoping your interest in her was platonic. Once she realized it wasn't, because you hesitated, NOW she knows your intention which is romantic, and she isn't interested in that, so she's shrugging you off because she knows your advances are romantic and she's already communicated to you that she isn't interested.

It's good you are looking to learn from these things. I applaud you for that.

Don't hesitate again in those situations where a BF/Husband is brought up - learn to expect it, and learn to ignore the boyfriend comment stuff as potential ****-testing, or possibly just irrelevance. Just because she has a BF doesn't mean they are exclusive, or that she's happy. If she's with a guy who she is on the fence about, and she's game to talk to you, your hesitating when she says she has a BF makes her think you are needy/clingy and would expect to lock her down in an exclusive relationship from the first date forward. She doesn't want that, and she told you as much when she said, "you probably wouldn't be". Alternately, you can decide you don't even want to go down that road and can just write-off any girl who tells you she has a BF by saying, "well he's a lucky man" and then moving on.

 

[sangheilios]

you rejected her and you're wondering why she's giving attitude? lol

next time just bang her, otherwise the same thing will happen

How did I reject her?

 

[sangheilios]

You hesitated when she asked you if you were comfortable with her having a boyfriend.
Two possibilities:
1. She didn't have a boyfriend and was testing you to see your confidence level. You failed that test by hesitating.
2. She does have a boyfriend and was hoping your interest in her was platonic. Once she realized it wasn't, because you hesitated, NOW she knows your intention which is romantic, and she isn't interested in that, so she's shrugging you off because she knows your advances are romantic and she's already communicated to you that she isn't interested.

It's good you are looking to learn from these things. I applaud you for that.

Don't hesitate again in those situations where a BF/Husband is brought up - learn to expect it, and learn to ignore the boyfriend comment stuff as potential ****-testing, or possibly just irrelevance. Just because she has a BF doesn't mean they are exclusive, or that she's happy. If she's with a guy who she is on the fence about, and she's game to talk to you, your hesitating when she says she has a BF makes her think you are needy/clingy and would expect to lock her down in an exclusive relationship from the first date forward. She doesn't want that, and she told you as much when she said, "you probably wouldn't be". Alternately, you can decide you don't even want to go down that road and can just write-off any girl who tells you she has a BF by saying, "well he's a lucky man" and then moving on.

I personally just don't think it'd be worth the effort at that point, regardless of whether or not it's a **** test or if she actually has a bf. I realize that some people are in relationships they aren't all that into but I'm not sure if I need that drama in my life.

I was just a bit confused because she clearly wanted me to approach her and when I did she mentions her bf, real or not is irrelevant, but then continues to encourage me to talk to her, etc.

 

[devilkingx2]

How did I reject her?

Bolded:

She then asks me if I'd be comfortable with that since she has a boyfriend, I hesitated and she then says I probably wouldn't be and then I leave shortly after. We kept talking after that but I kept it friendly and very brief.