One night stand during breakup told my girlfriend

[GazT18]

Been with this girl 8 months after a month I found out her brother she lived with abused her so I told her move in with me til she got her own place. I like my own space so I knew it was going to be hard.

6 months later she got her own place soon as she moved out I finished with her. In the week we split up I slept with another girl then got back with my girlfriend. The girl I slept with didn’t take it well and told my girlfriend. She immediately finished with me and blocked me on everything.

I left her to it 3 weeks later she unblocked me so I messaged her to see if she’s ok and she asked me to meet her to discuss. Went home and she text me saying she loves me but doesn’t trust me anymore.

What’s the best way to go about this?

 

[Murk]

It’s ruined, trust issues and arguing for the foreseeable future.

You banged a girl while single, if you couldn’t get hold of that situation and make your ex see the light then there’s no hope here

 

[GazT18]

I wish you were right. She hasn’t got an argument in her. She avoids confrontation and prefers to ignore.

 

[Murk]

Why you want a soulless humanoid like that? Go find you a woman who can express and live, that’s really living.

 

[Spaz]

Been with this girl 8 months after a month I found out her brother she lived with abused her so I told her move in with me til she got her own place. I like my own space so I knew it was going to be hard.

6 months later she got her own place soon as she moved out I finished with her. In the week we split up I slept with another girl then got back with my girlfriend. The girl I slept with didn’t take it well and told my girlfriend. She immediately finished with me and blocked me on everything.

I left her to it 3 weeks later she unblocked me so I messaged her to see if she’s ok and she asked me to meet her to discuss. Went home and she text me saying she loves me but doesn’t trust me anymore.

What’s the best way to go about this?

If u participate in any discussion, you'll end up compromising ur frame.

Best way, since it's her request, is to meet up and just listen to her. Offer no apologies nor promise anything. If she accuses you of not participating, tell her that u r listening and then will need time to digest what she has said.

Hold on to ur frame. Lose it, you've lost power in that relationship and then u r fvcked.

 

[ohrein]

If u participate in any discussion, you'll end up compromising ur frame.

Best way, since it's her request, is to meet up and just listen to her. Offer no apologies nor promise anything. If she accuses you of not participating, tell her that u r listening and then will need time to digest what she has said.

Hold on to ur frame. Lose it, you've lost power in that relationship and then u r fvcked.

You can approach these issues and do both. You can listen and understand a woman, reassure her that you care about her and yet, not apologize and stay firm that you did nothing wrong. I have these conversations with my girlfriend from time to time.

"I'm sorry you're upset that I saw someone else but we were broken up. It's not fair for you not to trust me when I did nothing wrong. I was faithful to you while we were together. I care about you and want to give us another shot but if you can't get past this jealousy then so be it."

Curious if any DJ's see a problem with this line of thinking, actually. I think it's bang on. It's firm, understand and shows a willingness to walk away if she doesn't change her behavior to suit your ideas of what is fair, all from a place of strength and understanding. Am I on the money?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Been with this girl 8 months after a month I found out her brother she lived with abused her so I told her move in with me til she got her own place. I like my own space so I knew it was going to be hard.

6 months later she got her own place soon as she moved out I finished with her. In the week we split up I slept with another girl then got back with my girlfriend. The girl I slept with didn’t take it well and told my girlfriend. She immediately finished with me and blocked me on everything.

I left her to it 3 weeks later she unblocked me so I messaged her to see if she’s ok and she asked me to meet her to discuss. Went home and she text me saying she loves me but doesn’t trust me anymore.

What’s the best way to go about this?

Start smashing hotter girls.

 

[Spaz]

You can approach these issues and do both. You can listen and understand a woman, reassure her that you care about her and yet, not apologize and stay firm that you did nothing wrong. I have these conversations with my girlfriend from time to time.

"I'm sorry you're upset that I saw someone else but we were broken up. It's not fair for you not to trust me when I did nothing wrong. I was faithful to you while we were together. I care about you and want to give us another shot but if you can't get past this jealousy then so be it."

Curious if any DJ's see a problem with this line of thinking, actually. I think it's bang on. It's firm, understand and shows a willingness to walk away if she doesn't change her behavior to suit your ideas of what is fair, all from a place of strength and understanding. Am I on the money?

The moment you give something in or even perceived as winning in a discussion with a women u r in a relationship with is the moment you actually lose.

It might seem logical from a man's standpoint but it's deemed as breaking a woman's frame. She will want to reaffirm her frame, perhaps not at that point but at a much later date - she will come back with an accumulation of perceived misdeeds that you did which doesn't make any sense to you.

The more she "loses" the more you lose. You did not win anything.

You cannot win in any discussion with a female lover. That's their playground under their rules.

Women give men the illusion that man is in control, when it is them pulling the strings.

 

[Billtx49]

In the week we split up I slept with another girl then got back with my girlfriend. The girl I slept with didn’t take it well and told my girlfriend.

Never bang a girl that is aware of another girl’s existence in your life and if they don’t know about each other, keep your mouth shut about it…

 

[Glassguy]

This would my discussion with her:

1.) I was single. We were not together at the time.

2.) It happened. Its not the end of the world.

You dont need to explain what you did or why you did it because you were single. Its really none of her business. Just own it and stay in frame.

"Yes I had sex with ______. We were not together when it happened. No we are not talking about it now or ever. If its that destructive on us then we should immediately end this and go date other people".

At that point you cant control her but be aware that she WILL hold it against you if you decide to stay together. Do you really want to deal with that shyte when it is sooo easy to find someone new to date without this drama?