RLE: How To Handle Girlfriend Seeking Validation

[zekko]

Fair enough. Im betting that since you and myself don't text every day you wouldnt see how this is congruent with myself. I am just not a big texter and reply this way extremely often. My go-to response is a simple "k".

As for "sounding too much like you were trying to not care too much"(say that 5 times fast), its a tough line. One side of people will tell you that you overreacted by caring too much and one side will tell you that you didnt care enough. I will always error on the side of not caring enough.

To be fair, it's probably more me than you. Whenever I read sample "PUA theory" type conversations, I am always thinking it sounds extremely unnatural and that I'm being hit over the head with the point.
As for myself, I probably just would have said "Uh-huh" and changed the subject. Similar to your "k", I guess.

 

[Mazer]

When a woman starts **** testing or going out with dudes for pancakes, you better be spinning plates.
I also banged a woman whose boyfriend never got jealous, didn’t show any insecurity but I still banged his girl. Doesn’t matter if he comes across insecure or not, once she has made the decision to put herself in a position where “something” can happen, you have already lost. I’m dating a woman right now who wouldn’t dare test me or hang out with another dude one on one because she knows it’s unacceptale. This is where you want to be.

 

[Soflobro#3]

When a woman starts **** testing or going out with dudes for pancakes, you better be spinning plates.
I also banged a woman whose boyfriend never got jealous, didn’t show any insecurity but I still banged his girl. Doesn’t matter if he comes across insecure or not, once she has made the decision to put herself in a position where “something” can happen, you have already lost. I’m dating a woman right now who wouldn’t dare test me or hang out with another dude one on one because she knows it’s unacceptale. This is where you want to be.

The fact she'd overtly put this much effort into making him jealous is a red flag and it means he didn't screen properly. One of my exes did this once, but I had stopped paying attention to her. The guy had asked her for her number and i just said "well did you give it to him?". She said no.

This post is thread is funny. I remember this guy and how he had that bpd following him around validating all his whiteknight threads. I wish they'd unban playerman, his posts were gold.

 

[Spaz]

When a woman starts **** testing or going out with dudes for pancakes, you better be spinning plates.
I also banged a woman whose boyfriend never got jealous, didn’t show any insecurity but I still banged his girl. Doesn’t matter if he comes across insecure or not, once she has made the decision to put herself in a position where “something” can happen, you have already lost. I’m dating a woman right now who wouldn’t dare test me or hang out with another dude one on one because she knows it’s unacceptale. This is where you want to be.

That's not because she respects you. She keeps quiet because she either fears you or is just 2 fvcking ugly for other men to hit on her.

 

[Chi Town]

If your women wants to cheat she will and vice versa, her respecting you doesn't stop her from cheating lol if she respects you she will treat you right(affection, cooking, cleaning, loving, caring ect) but she will still do her thing on the side(if she's attractive enough) just like men do.


GF:This guy at my job offered to take me out to lunch! Lol

Me:That's wassup

GF:yeah it's the guy at the front desk that's always flirting with me, he tells everyone at the office that I'm his future wife lol

Me:

I wouldn't even continue the convo, Why? It's not because I'm mad but because I have a life and more important things to do then to be entertaining some irrelevant sh!t like this.

The last GF I had I told her this when she asked me do I ever worry about her cheating and if I trust her.

Me: No I don't worry about it your a grown ass women and you can do as you please just know the consequences of your actions if I find out, your ass is going to be single.

All the guys I knew who had there GF in check didn't run behind them 24/7 they gave them free will to do whatever the hell they wanted, but they knew if they got caught doing some bullsh!t then there high value bad boy boyfriend will leave them and will be fvcking another 8+ in 2 days lol

 

[Spaz]

If your women wants to cheat she will and vice versa, her respecting you doesn't stop her from cheating lol if she respects you she will treat you right(affection, cooking, cleaning, loving, caring ect) but she will still do her thing on the side(if she's attractive enough) just like men do.


GF:This guy at my job offered to take me out to lunch! Lol

Me:That's wassup

GF:yeah it's the guy at the front desk that's always flirting with me, he tells everyone at the office that I'm his future wife lol

Me:

I wouldn't even continue the convo, Why? It's not because I'm mad but because I have a life and more important things to do then to be entertaining some irrelevant sh!t like this.

The last GF I had I told her this when she asked me do I ever worry about her cheating and if I trust her.

Me: No I don't worry about it your a grown ass women and you can do as you please just know the consequences of your actions if I find out, your ass is going to be single.

All the guys I knew who had there GF in check didn't run behind them 24/7 they gave them free will to do whatever the hell they wanted, but they knew if they got caught doing some bullsh!t then there high value bad boy boyfriend will leave them and will be fvcking another 8+ in 2 days lol

Treating a man right doesn't equal respect that's only good mannerism in front of him.

Respect is entirely different.

When a women or even another man respect a man, it's because they have admiration and being congruent towards his frame.

This is the basis of leadership.

Frame is everything.

 

[djdfuser]

The jealousy sh!t tests: If you don't care (or act that way), she'll just step it up and eventually follow through on a threat. If you counter or ghost, you're in her childish frame. If you call her out, you're 'jealous and controlling'.

The only sensible response is one warning, then NEXT. Hard, cold and final.

Someone give me a better way.

 

[Spaz]

The jealousy sh!t tests: If you don't care (or act that way), she'll just step it up and eventually follow through on a threat. If you counter or ghost, you're in her childish frame. If you call her out, you're 'jealous and controlling'.

The only sensible response is one warning, then NEXT. Hard, cold and final.

Someone give me a better way.

That's basically the default response of a man who's yet to master leadership skills.

But it's a beginners stage, you get points for that.

 

[djdfuser]

Next stage, please.

 

[highSpeed]

I agree with Danger in that you had the correct approach in handling it. However, I thought your dialogue was terrible. It sounded too much like you were making an effort to deliberately play it off, like you were reading from a PUA manual, too forced. I'm surprised you didn't say "You two would make a cute couple".

As you know, I have a no "one on one" date policy in place. However, I don't really apply that to work situations. She's going to have to network and get along with people. Now if she starts making it a habit of hanging around with this guy after hours, that's a different thing.


So you won't put up with a woman hanging out with other men, either. Good for you, I would have thought you would consider that "insecure".

In any case, the boundary doesn't change anything. You seem to think we follow our girlfriends around saying "Remember the boundary!" all day. No, it's a one time discussion at the beginning when she brings up the "what are we?" subject. After that, it's forgotten, unless she violates it. And if she seeks validation by violating it, she doesn't get an argument. I just get a new girl.

Going to agree here. It's not even that it is too forced, I think there is some weird angle that she kept pushing. If she mentioned the first thing and didn't drop it but she continued down that thread of a conversation two other times.

I think that goes beyond validation. It's a downright p*ss me off attempt. Why continue to go along with that? I would find it extremely odd if that was not addressed in some way on his part. Not in a confrontational, lose your frame kind of way but more of a hit on another girl in front of her type of way. I'd be interested to know if that cooled her jets on this crappy behavior after that.

 

[Barrister]

When a woman starts **** testing or going out with dudes for pancakes, you better be spinning plates.
I also banged a woman whose boyfriend never got jealous, didn’t show any insecurity but I still banged his girl. Doesn’t matter if he comes across insecure or not, once she has made the decision to put herself in a position where “something” can happen, you have already lost. I’m dating a woman right now who wouldn’t dare test me or hang out with another dude one on one because she knows it’s unacceptale. This is where you want to be.

Agree with this. If she’s making these comments at all, it’s a red flag. OP handled it correctly — but there is a deeper underlying issue with this. I’m very familiar with this dynamic having come out of an LTR recently where this was constantly occurring. Dread game should be utilized to counteract this - but this gets extremely exhausting (at least to me).