Need some help and advice

[Captain Canada]

First post guys.. I could use help.

Background:
I am 46
Got married when I was 27
Just got seperated 3 months ago
I banged a few chicks while married but I really don’t have dating experience

Problem:

Right after my seperation an attractive girl at the gym asked me out. She told me everything I wanted to hear. You imagine it, she said it. Lots of attention. She was making long term
Plans with me

Maybe cuz I was vulnerable or desperate from my seperation, I fell In “love”, so I told her that I loved her after 3-4 weeks.. things were good for a few weeks... I helped her with everything, took her out and paid always,, I was always at her house banging her.. I bought flowers. I Opened doors.. I became a nice guy and after 6 weeks everything changed. She grew more distant more cold . She started telling me she is not ready for a relationship or to be a gf.

So I told her I can’t do it. And called it off. And then she told me “wow I knew you would do this, I guess I am not good enough for you” so I texted her back with an explanation and she said “please don’t blow up My phone” so I said fine bye. Then I obsessed over her and got anxious and depressed and texted her back and said I miss her. She played it cold and cool. So now she has not texted me and I texted her good morning to help with my anxiety..

I know I did so many things wrong. But I have been out of the dating game so long... Amy help or advice is appreciated. What should I do.. I don’t want to feel depressed like this

I feel like I made a fool Of myself.. should I text her back just say F off ? Or just leave that last good morning text as is and walk away.. I am guessing there is no chance with her now.

 

[Captain Canada]

First post guys.. I could use help.

Background:
I am 46
Got married when I was 27
Just got seperated 3 months ago
I banged a few chicks while married but I really don’t have dating experience

Problem:

Right after my seperation an attractive girl at the gym asked me out. She told me everything I wanted to hear. You imagine it, she said it. Lots of attention. She was making long term
Plans with me

Maybe cuz I was vulnerable or desperate from my seperation, I fell In “love”, so I told her that I loved her after 3-4 weeks.. things were good for a few weeks... I helped her with everything, took her out and paid always,, I was always at her house banging her.. I bought flowers. I Opened doors.. I became a nice guy and after 6 weeks everything changed. She grew more distant more cold . She started telling me she is not ready for a relationship or to be a gf.

So I told her I can’t do it. And called it off. And then she told me “wow I knew you would do this, I guess I am not good enough for you” so I texted her back with an explanation and she said “please don’t blow up My phone” so I said fine bye. Then I obsessed over her and got anxious and depressed and texted her back and said I miss her. She played it cold and cool. So now she has not texted me and I texted her good morning to help with my anxiety..

I know I did so many things wrong. But I have been out of the dating game so long... Amy help or advice is appreciated. What should I do.. I don’t want to feel depressed like this

I feel like I made a fool Of myself.. should I text her back just say F off ? Or just leave that last good morning text as is and walk away.. I am guessing there is no chance with her now.

 

[Captain Canada]

UPDATE

She replied back to my good morning text.. and said “how was your night”

 

[marvinlfloresq]

Just say it was good, went out with friends (make something up ) thank you. I was wondering when are you free? ( and shut up, wait for a response)

Make definite plans & **leave her alone. If she says no, im busy, whatever excuse, say ok I understand let me know if you change your mind.


Thats it. ********Dont talk drama(thats her language).

This is a rebound, she knows it. You know it. You cant love in 4 weeks, you are scaring her. Relax. Hit the Gym, asap, it will help.

 

[marvinlfloresq]

Op, sorry to hear your situation. Its ok to be depress.

I been there, but you are jumping right in the line of fire. I would be cautios.

Here, read: Understanding relationships by coach corey, it will help a lot. Also read, The Rational Male by Rollo. You can still snag a good woman, but read those books to have an idea of whats going on with dating.

Also read Mystery Method vol. 1, just to have an idea about seduction, not te be a peacock but to "understand" the behind the scenes of womens actions.

Take it slow.

 

[Spaz]

Women lose attraction 2 a man real quick when he bends his frame.

Each and every time u bend it, you lose more value.

Obviously my or others post here won't be enough, I strongly suggest you read up POOK threads in the DJ Bible.

There's no shortcuts.

 

[Captain Canada]

Op, sorry to hear your situation. Its ok to be depress.

I been there, but you are jumping right in the line of fire. I would be cautios.

Here, read: Understanding relationships by coach corey, it will help a lot. Also read, The Rational Male by Rollo. You can still snag a good woman, but read those books to have an idea of whats going on with dating.

Also read Mystery Method vol. 1, just to have an idea about seduction, not te be a peacock but to "understand" the behind the scenes of womens actions.

Take it slow.

I should have not dated right after seperated right ? I got *****vwhipped ?

 

[Captain Canada]

Women lose attraction 2 a man real quick when he bends his frame.

Each and every time u bend it, you lose more value.

Obviously my or others post here won't be enough, I strongly suggest you read up POOK threads in the DJ Bible.

There's no shortcuts.

I am reading that right now brother and realizing how bad I messed up

 

[Spaz]

I could explain it all but it's gonna take days even weeks.

But you'll be just fine. No worries. Everyone here will assist you in their own way.

 

[Chi Town]

She was either never really into you and she ran game on you(she told you what you wanted to hear) and once you started to get hooked she lost interest and went cold.

Or, she lost attraction for you because you started acting like a wuss, basically what spaz said.

It's ok to do nice things sometimes for a girl especially if she does things for you, but that's not what kills attraction, what kills attraction is when you start showing too much interest or letting her push you around or doing everything she says ECT which I'm sure that's what you were doing.

Your clearly easily manipulated, don't worry about game right now, you need to work on yourself so you won't fall in love with the first girl who shows you some attention.

 

[marvinlfloresq]

I should have not dated right after seperated right ? I got *****vwhipped ?

Yes. IMO You need to wait at least 4 months to try a * healthy relationship. Dont jump right into the fryer! Learn the skills 1st. Date none-exclusive, until you "no longer" have a scarcity mentality. If you had 3 women chasing you this instant, or at least the "skills" to get them: you would feel way better! Take your time, you'll be fine.

Women are everywhere.

 

[Captain Canada]

Yes. IMO You need to wait at least 4 months to try a * healthy relationship. Dont jump right into the fryer! Learn the skills 1st. Date none-exclusive, until you "no longer" have a scarcity mentality. If you had 3 women chasing you this instant, or at least the "skills" to get them: you would feel way better! Take your time, you'll be fine.

Women are everywhere.

I hear you so then I should just take this relationship as a kick in the nuts and lick my wounds and be alone for a while and recover right? I mean it’s really hard because I’m kind of starting to have an OCD mentality and going over **** in my head over and over.

 

[marvinlfloresq]

I hear you so then I should just take this relationship as a kick in the nuts and lick my wounds and be alone for a while and recover right? I mean it’s really hard because I’m kind of starting to have an OCD mentality and going over **** in my head over and over.

Yes. Its a taste of the ocean. A "relationship " is deeper, when you meet her friends, family, etc. When she farts in front of you.
(Small humor if you dont mind but you get the idea )

You are "obsessing" already. Careful she could end up as Oneitis. You said "love" already, that's not healthy. Dust yourself off & keep it moving. She'll probably hit you up again, thrust me, but you need to be *stable.

Abundance mentality. Women are everywhere.

 

[Captain Canada]

Yes. Its a taste of the ocean. A relationship is deeper, when you meet her friends, family, etc. When she farts in front of you.
(Small humor if you dont mind but you get the idea )

You are "obsessing" already. Careful she could end up as Oneitis. You said "love" already, that's not healthy. Dust yourself off & keep it moving. She'll probably hit you up again, thrust me, but you need to be stable.

Abundance mentality. Women are everywhere.

What’s oneitis?

 

[marvinlfloresq]

What’s oneitis?

A woman you obsess over that is not romantically interested in you. The hot babe that just wants to be friends but asks you to move her couch. "Obsession" from you and Unrekindle feelings on her part.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=oneitis

 

[Captain Canada]

So in the mean time should I not contact this woman no more?

 

[Captain Canada]

I been reading that PooK 15 messages post and message 7 is me.. damn, so then moving forward the best course of action is to leave it be right and lick my wounds and learn? if there is a wa to get her back i would like to

 

[marvinlfloresq]

So in the mean time should I not contact this woman no more?

Depends. If you can manage to talk without saying love stuff. I am not saying become a cold fish, just relax. When she said: how was your night, say it was good. Went out with friends. Then make plans to see her.

Schedule a date "once" a week, until she starts to initiate the plans. Keep things casual & fun. That's it. She will bring out the gf, or relationship subject up. Your job is just to make an opportunity for sex to happen, thats all. Meanwhile you concentrate on your newly-single goals.

She already said I am not ready for gf stuff, so back of a little. When ever she reaches out, make a date.

 

[Captain Canada]

Depends. If you can manage to talk without saying love stuff. I am not saying become a cold fish, just relax. When she said: how was your night, say it was good. Went out with friends. Then make plans to see her.

Schedule a date "once" a week, until she starts to initiate the plans. Keep things casual & fun. That's it. She will bring out the gf, or relationship subject up. Your job is just to make an opportunity for sex to happen, thats all. Meanwhile you concentrate on your newly-single goals.

She already said I am not ready for gf stuff, so back of a little. When ever she reaches out, make a date.

well i just texted her and told her i want to **** her,, and i am going to leave it at that, i guess

 

[marvinlfloresq]

How to get her back? * just go about your life. When & if she reaches out, make a date or plans. Thats it. I have not read djbible, but the literature i sugested will help you. It helped me tremendously.