Dear Prudence: My Husband Hates It When I Go Out Dancing

[HankHill]

Your assumptions come from one woman's bad behavior and your experience. You picked the chick and you stayed with her without requiring standards. Good for you for having standards now however your ex gf's behavior and your experience does not translate to all women any more than my experience with my ex husband translates to all men.

I'll just make a few points rather than writing a wall of text on this dead horse:

1. My experience comes from not just one of the exs but also from going to bars and clubs in my younger years and seeing what happens first hand. As I said men are there for a reason and it's not to spend $15 for one beer. This forum is full of stories, heck even in this thread.

2. Women in committed relationships should grow up and seek other mature forms of fun than getting drunk and rubbing on other dudes to get their weekly ego boost. Get a hobby, clubbing and bar hopping is not a hobby.

3. I've already addressed jealousy several times; it's often due to her questionable past behaviors where it stems from.

4. You and your ex are exs -obviously your common nightlife and clubbing lifestyle didn't save your marriage so it really adds no value to the argument of finding people with the same interests. Sure it makes things easier but easy doesn't translate into LTR. In fact, that is the problem with our society today, no one wants to put in the work because they're just too damn selfish, they just want to have 'fun' the hell with being a responsible adult/parent/wife/husband or making sacrifices in life.

5. Things that people will try to get away with by playing the label game is crazy in today's society. Just label commonsense with insecurity and now you can manipulate the situation in your favor. There are plenty of secure men getting cheated on behind their backs but they won't question their women's actions because that will come across as insecure...or perhaps the reality is these secure men don't want to find out the real truth lol. What's next? she'll get down on her knees and start blowing another guy but the society will say 'don't be insecure, she's still going home with you tonight, who cares if she's having a little fun'. I mean there are those people too, the swingers who must see us as insecure betas. No thanks! I don't have room for women who can't grow out of their wild college days and adapt to being a mature wife/gf. Label me insecure but I prefer classy and sophisticated women who have real goals and ambitions in life.

 

[BeExcellent]

Label me insecure but I prefer classy and sophisticated women who have real goals and ambitions in life.

Well that's exactly the type of woman you have been conversing with. Search around and read my story if you please. The issue you have is that you don't recognize when you are interacting with the sort of woman that you'd like to find.

Know why I can spend time on SoSuave on a Wednesday as I please? Because the businesses I built and the people who I employ allow me the luxury of free time to the point of semi-retirement. Nobody helped me, and I did it in spite of a husband who curled up and folded when the chips were down in his situation. Go read my story. Somebody had to stand in the gap. So I did. And for many years I remained loyal and hopeful that he would pull himself up. He did not and still today he has not. I cannot do it for him. And I've no complaints about the fact that my life didn't go as planned. I chose to succeed in spite of the circumstances. My daddy didn't raise a quitter but he didn't raise a dummy either. At some point the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.

I'll even help you. Go read the thread in Wealth and Success called "Success Starts Between Your Ears" and the thread "How to Spot A Unicorn". I think that one is in Don Juan Discussion but it might be in Mature Man. The search function should find them both with ease.

You would do well to get your facts straight before your hurl insults. I've shared a great deal here for the benefit of the board and have benefited myself from the debates and the discussions in many ways. I wish you a similar experience.

Cheers

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I didn't say it was okay to go clubbing without him, I said if she likes doing this he should try and go with her. And if he doesn't like doing this then he should just file for divorce, get it over with... go into divorce coast and get fiscally @ss banged. Why stay married to someone that you do not have anything in common with. Yea she isn't wife material accept for the fact that she is a WIFE.

We can agree to disagree. I am saying, him going is pandering to her. Its supplicating. It enables the attention *****. Even worse, she can backwards rationalize its his being needy. Its him being beta. Its fuel then to cuck him later. Female logic.

When you are a husband... you already have the nose ring on. You are already at least a little bit of a pandering simp... saying you won't go dancing doesn't make you a tough guy. Men do dance... I guarantee you will pull more women if you know how to dance. Take some lessons and get good at it.

Would you describe Rollo that way? IMHO any man who marries is an idiot with the rare exception. Outlier. Anomaly. Not the norm. I think red pill can help navigate but the marriage in the west is one iceberg after another.

I would love for stats on dance and pulling. I would rather get deezed, run, do martial arts then pretend to care to dance. What most women deem as dance today is basically dry humping.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I'll just make a few points rather than writing a wall of text on this dead horse:

1. My experience comes from not just one of the exs but also from going to bars and clubs in my younger years and seeing what happens first hand. As I said men are there for a reason and it's not to spend $15 for one beer. This forum is full of stories, heck even in this thread.

2. Women in committed relationships should grow up and seek other mature forms of fun than getting drunk and rubbing on other dudes to get their weekly ego boost. Get a hobby, clubbing and bar hopping is not a hobby.

3. I've already addressed jealousy several times; it's often due to her questionable past behaviors where it stems from.

4. You and your ex are exs -obviously your common nightlife and clubbing lifestyle didn't save your marriage so it really adds no value to the argument of finding people with the same interests. Sure it makes things easier but easy doesn't translate into LTR. In fact, that is the problem with our society today, no one wants to put in the work because they're just too damn selfish, they just want to have 'fun' the hell with being a responsible adult/parent/wife/husband or making sacrifices in life.

5. Things that people will try to get away with by playing the label game is crazy in today's society. Just label commonsense with insecurity and now you can manipulate the situation in your favor. There are plenty of secure men getting cheated on behind their backs but they won't question their women's actions because that will come across as insecure...or perhaps the reality is these secure men don't want to find out the real truth lol. What's next? she'll get down on her knees and start blowing another guy but the society will say 'don't be insecure, she's still going home with you tonight, who cares if she's having a little fun'. I mean there are those people too, the swingers who must see us as insecure betas. No thanks! I don't have room for women who can't grow out of their wild college days and adapt to being a mature wife/gf. Label me insecure but I prefer classy and sophisticated women who have real goals and ambitions in life.

Save your breathe.

Women always blame the man regardless of ****ty women. They cling to NAWALT holding oneself as the gold standard example.

AWALT. You could have saved time and effort telling her to he back to the kitchen and make you a sandwich. Make herself useful and get you a beer (its not even to drink but more or less, get her to add value and burn cals given the disposition to Bulking season).

Never logic with women.