Wondering how to proceed...

[Barrister]

So I have been seeing about three different women over the course of the past two months. One of them I have been seeing was my hair stylist. She is much younger than me (I am 32 - she is 22). Things started to get a little more serious with her because I started seeing her a lot more than I probably should have been. After seeing her for a solid month, she got completely hooked on me and demanded that if I was going to continue to see her I couldn't see the other women. This kind of freaked me out and I told her I thought we should put the brakes on things. She wasn't happy.

Well, a couple of weeks went by and of course I gave into temptation and texted her to meet me for drinks. She agreed. Night was good until another woman texted me while hair stylist was on my phone and **** hit the fan. She got pissed at me and told me she was done. Well, for reasons I still don't understand I told her I would be willing to only see her and I wanted her to stick around (I know I know). Initially she agreed - but the body language was not right. I could tell things had changed and I had lost a lot of the power in the relationship.

Two days went by and she texted me out of the blue saying things weren't going to work out and she still wanted to see me but right now just isn't the right time (code for she is seeing someone else). I was surprised by how much it stung for me. She said in the text she wanted to date me again eventually and still would be there for me but right now is not a good time. I didn't really rise to the bait or ask her to change her mind because I know this has the opposite effect of getting her interested again. To sum it up, I texted back saying I didn't understand but I would respect her decision and we'd move on.

However, I am still interested in her and want her. I know conventional wisdom, and probably some of you DJs will advise, is to simply move on. My question is this: do I keep her as my hair stylist and act like nothing is wrong at my next appointment and go completely NC up until that point and afterwards if my goal is to try to get her back in the fold? Or do you guys think this is a completely lost cause and I am better off cancelling my future appointment with her to avoid awkward situations and moving on for good? Curious to hear.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

1. Never intentionally give a woman of interest access to your phone.

2. A month is not a long enough screening period to consider exclusivity, for either of you. Yes; you handed her the power by agreeing to exclusivity in the last desperate moment, once you'd already fcked everything up - mainly by letting her have your phone. When a girl brings up exclusivity ahead of time, the go-to line is, 'We're having fun and I need to get to know you before we gonna start getting serious.' Women are inherently aware of their own nature, and they will almost always agree to this; until such time as they meet someone better. You basically force her hand either way, and if she strays/dumps you, you've still won. Because you're not exclusive.

3. Get a new hair stylist. The risk of ending up with bad hair is too great. In fact, I'd say find a decent barber. Men don't have 'hair stylists'. They have barbers.

 

[jaymbrs]

I would cancel the appointment and move on. That was a ***** move on her part. She prob got back with an ex.

 

[Barrister]

1. Never intentionally give a woman of interest access to your phone.

2. A month is not a long enough screening period to consider exclusivity, for either of you. Yes; you handed her the power by agreeing to exclusivity in the last desperate moment, once you'd already fcked everything up - mainly by letting her have your phone. When a girl brings up exclusivity ahead of time, the go-to line is, 'We're having fun and I need to get to know you before we gonna start getting serious.' Women are inherently aware of their own nature, and they will almost always agree to this; until such time as they meet someone better. You basically force her hand either way, and if she strays/dumps you, you've still won. Because you're not exclusive.

3. Get a new hair stylist. The risk of ending up with bad hair is too great. In fact, I'd say find a decent barber. Men don't have 'hair stylists'. They have barbers.

1: I know. I was very drunk but that doesn't excuse me giving her my phone. Honestly I don't remember why she even had it at the time but lesson learned.

2: I agree a month isn't enough time. The problem was that I saw her far too much in that month. I was seeing her at least 3-4 times a week in that month. It got going way too quickly because one of my other women was out of the country and the third wasn't nearly the priority of the hair stylist and the absent one. So things escalated a lot faster than they probably otherwise should have.

3: This is the part I am struggling with. I still want a chance to add her back into the mix. She is great-looking and she is fun. Now I admit given what she has demanded in the past I can see why it would be very hard to ever to do that. I do feel like if I go NC for the next two weeks and then act like nothing is wrong at my appointment it may prompt her curiosity. In meantime I am still seeing other women. I feel like if I cancel the appointment everything is done for good. Would you agree?