Got cheated on. Will walk away forever. Do I expose her or do it silently?

[DreamAgain]

Basically the title. On the one hand, if I go immediate no contact, her hamster may spin for a while wondering why I ghosted. She probably won't care considering I meant that little enough to cheat on me. This was a multi year relationship by the way.

On the other hand, I feel like, from a justice standpoint, I need to expose her to let her know how much of a piece of sh1t she is. Basically call her a wh0re and the whole nine yards.

Advice gentleman. I'm really seething right now. Moreso at myself that I even met this b1tch and even let her into my life.

 

[DreamAgain]

I found out in the cruelest of ways. My buddy basically did some snooping and figured out she has been plowing this other guy behind my back for a while. He pretty much said the whole "dude sorry to break it to you" speech.

My stomach feels terrible, I can't even eat any food. It's a sickening picture in my mind I'm just trying to erase continuously.

 

[DreamAgain]

First of all, been there several times so I empathize. Awful feeling, but you dodged a bullet.

Second, if you just completely disappear she will suffer the greatest consequence, but that is an abstract concept and little solace in the moment.

Luckily, chances are she will track you down eventually, even if you block her on all platforms. At some point you will get your chance to vent.

Don't bother exposing her though.

Is this the BPD you were no-contact on?

Yes it is that BPD. She started lovebombing me and I broke no contact, I was such a dumb@ss. Thinking that I was crazy for falsely accusing her, that she is actually a good girl after all.

I'm truly mind fukked right now.

 

[resilient]

NC is for you to move on. Exposing her will only leave you thinking about her longer and keeping her in your head space. You need space to heal.

Delete pictures on your phone, clean up your social media presence with her. Sell or throw away stuff she gave you that has sentimental value.

While you may feel disillusioned from your friend exposing the truth... it's important for you to take care of your health. Get 8 hours of sleep, stomach some food down even if its a snack. Don't go without eating.

Get some fresh air. Go outside and go for a walk/hike. If you can, speed up the pace to a jog.

Hang out with family and friends. Watch a comedy, laughter will help a ton.

Start a hobby you've been wanting to do for a while, yet didn't get around to.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I found out in the cruelest of ways. My buddy basically did some snooping and figured out she has been plowing this other guy behind my back for a while. He pretty much said the whole "dude sorry to break it to you" speech.

My stomach feels terrible, I can't even eat any food. It's a sickening picture in my mind I'm just trying to erase continuously.

Who was she fvcking?

 

[resilient]

...Thinking that I was crazy for falsely accusing her, that she is actually a good girl after all.

Often times your gut doesn't lie. Trust your gut. You were right to feel suspicious if her behavior was that off.

 

[The Duke]

Let me tell you a short little story about my exwife that cheated on me after a very good relationship for almost 15yrs and you can decide what you want to do. For me it has been the ultimate payback.

After she cheated on me I didn't eat for 3days, drank little water, had zero appetite, and barely slept. It took months of daily phone calls to my dad to help me get thru it. I struggled for several months to try and get her to come to the table and work things out. she had her mind set on new cahk and had zero interest in fixing the marriage she destroyed. All the way thru it I took the high road and kept cool. Said nothing I ever regretted. Did nothing wrong or cruel.

A few years later after my exwife is done with riding the cahk carousel and realizes life was pretty damn awesome with Howiestern. She begs to get back with me. I keep telling her no. I'm having too much fun with all of these new girls I keep meeting. Eventually she realizes that I'm serious and she isn't going to convince me otherwise.

That's when she gets depressed, gains 40lbs, hair thins out, and she starts seeing a psychiatrist. And now she married an out of shape beta with no job, no accomplishments, no money.

I just sit back and smile! Its the ultimate form of justice. She knows she fuhked up and feels a ton of guilt for it. I suspect far more than if I would have given her a reason to hate me. Don't give them an excuse to justify their actions. Let them drown themselves.

Nowdays I thank every woman that has screwed me over. They have made me one tough son of a biatch. There won't be another one that causes me pain. Overtime you learn what they are all about. Its best to never trust them 100%.

Be the best man you can be, always try and take the high road, be honest, and enjoy them for what they are.

 

[sazc]

Hamster spin her, she deserves none of your exhaled breath.

Beesh deserves to feel the pain and confusion of losing you.

At first it will be confusion.... "Why did he cut me off, he couldn't know... Could he? Noooo...im so confusedc i thought I had the upper hand here.. " eventually it will be like @Howiestern said, "I fvcked up a great thing!" She will think.

If you go silent, NC, drop ALL her stuff on her porch in a box and then say nothing, ever, to her, she will eventually think to herself "and, damn, he didn't even say mean things to me"

You have my empathy. Now, go NC, hit the gym and work on you.

 

[DreamAgain]

Who was she fvcking?

Actually another guy I know. Apparently he had no idea she was with anyone, she said she was single.

 

[DreamAgain]

Let me tell you a short little story about my exwife that cheated on me after a very good relationship for almost 15yrs and you can decide what you want to do. For me it has been the ultimate payback.

After she cheated on me I didn't eat for 3days, drank little water, had zero appetite, and barely slept. It took months of daily phone calls to my dad to help me get thru it. I struggled for several months to try and get her to come to the table and work things out. she had her mind set on new cahk and had zero interest in fixing the marriage she destroyed. All the way thru it I took the high road and kept cool. Said nothing I ever regretted. Did nothing wrong or cruel.

A few years later after my exwife is done with riding the cahk carousel and realizes life was pretty damn awesome with Howiestern. She begs to get back with me. I keep telling her no. I'm having too much fun with all of these new girls I keep meeting. Eventually she realizes that I'm serious and she isn't going to convince me otherwise.

That's when she gets depressed, gains 40lbs, hair thins out, and she starts seeing a psychiatrist. And now she married an out of shape beta with no job, no accomplishments, no money.

I just sit back and smile! Its the ultimate form of justice. She knows she fuhked up and feels a ton of guilt for it. I suspect far more than if I would have given her a reason to hate me. Don't give them an excuse to justify their actions. Let them drown themselves.

Nowdays I thank every woman that has screwed me over. They have made me one tough son of a biatch. There won't be another one that causes me pain. Overtime you learn what they are all about. Its best to never trust them 100%.

Be the best man you can be, always try and take the high road, be honest, and enjoy them for what they are.

Holy sh1t man, inspiring story. Props you didn't succumb to the urge of verbally blasting her.

How were you able to keep your cool so well? Didn't you feel that it was almost your right, the right thing to do in the name of justice, to call her out?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Actually another guy I know. Apparently he had no idea she was with anyone, she said she was single.

Was she still fvcking you over this time?

 

[DreamAgain]

Was she still fvcking you over this time?

Yes she was lovebombing me, initiating texts, s3x, everything.

She is a messed up demon.

There is something hypnotizing about this woman. I sh1t you not, she has this sort of hypnotizing glance about her and is very pretty, like a young anne hatheaway or sandra bullock.

When she starts talking to someone in her charming little manner, it's like she could fukking sell ice to eskimos. Truly scary man.

 

[MichaelA]

Damn dude i can trully feel your pain.

I personaly got dumped by a woman a week ago after 7 months of dating her and she just vanished in thin air.

I totally went NC deleted her from everywhere. She is probably ****ing another guy but she will be back.

Point to realize is the best way to handle this is like you did like a MAN.

Go NC dont even spend a second of ur time for this woman. Hit the gym eat healthy and for your own good dont stay at home go out and call all your friends it helps your mind and you need to have fun.

Im personally doing this and im almost over this ***** in a week. And i arleady have a date on saturday with a 9 scale woman.

Trust me when a woman either dumps you or cheats on you NC is the best and the ultimate way to make her brain melt.

Good luck stay strong and go out as much as you can.

 

[ohrein]

Let me tell you a short little story about my exwife that cheated on me after a very good relationship for almost 15yrs and you can decide what you want to do. For me it has been the ultimate payback.

After she cheated on me I didn't eat for 3days, drank little water, had zero appetite, and barely slept. It took months of daily phone calls to my dad to help me get thru it. I struggled for several months to try and get her to come to the table and work things out. she had her mind set on new cahk and had zero interest in fixing the marriage she destroyed. All the way thru it I took the high road and kept cool. Said nothing I ever regretted. Did nothing wrong or cruel.

A few years later after my exwife is done with riding the cahk carousel and realizes life was pretty damn awesome with Howiestern. She begs to get back with me. I keep telling her no. I'm having too much fun with all of these new girls I keep meeting. Eventually she realizes that I'm serious and she isn't going to convince me otherwise.

That's when she gets depressed, gains 40lbs, hair thins out, and she starts seeing a psychiatrist. And now she married an out of shape beta with no job, no accomplishments, no money.

I just sit back and smile! Its the ultimate form of justice. She knows she fuhked up and feels a ton of guilt for it. I suspect far more than if I would have given her a reason to hate me. Don't give them an excuse to justify their actions. Let them drown themselves.

Nowdays I thank every woman that has screwed me over. They have made me one tough son of a biatch. There won't be another one that causes me pain. Overtime you learn what they are all about. Its best to never trust them 100%.

Be the best man you can be, always try and take the high road, be honest, and enjoy them for what they are.

My man. This is gold.

 

[Billtx49]

Do Nothing to, about, or with her. Think of it as just wiping the slate completely clean. Then she doesn’t exist and when the time comes you’re ready to fill that slate with a better woman…

 

[MrJack]

I found out in the cruelest of ways. My buddy basically did some snooping and figured out she has been plowing this other guy behind my back for a while. He pretty much said the whole "dude sorry to break it to you" speech.

My stomach feels terrible, I can't even eat any food. It's a sickening picture in my mind I'm just trying to erase continuously.

As many others here, I can empathize with this. Has happened multiple times to me when I was too naive to realize it. If you haven’t said anything to her about it and that you know what she’s been up to.. don’t.

Everyone in this thread has it right, forget about her and just work on yourself man. It’s tough asf to deal with right now, I know that, but time and maybe the gym are the only things that can speed your “recovery”.

All the best bro, this could and should very well be the girl that turns you not into a monster.. but the god of your own reality. I have a feeling you aren’t ever going to let this happen to you again, at least not in THIS way where it can obliterate your heart again. Took me 3 LTR’s to get it right in my head because the last one hurt so bad. I attribute my new mindset and outlook on life to the red pill and this forum.

You can do this my friend!

 

[Mazer]

Go completely ghost. No contact whatsoever. Do not call her out! Let her hamster spin. It will be your form of revenge. Its very important you surround yourself with friends and family after shyt like this happens. You should never drop your friends when you get into a relationship because you will need them when shyt like this happens. Make sure you limit the amount of time you spend by yourself, go out, keep your mind busy, surround yourself with people and when you are ready, spin some plates and always always protect your heart. Wish you the best bro.

 

[GT40]

First off, Congrats on not caving in. Just next her - she's done. Go NC too, why talk to her-she's a waste.
Mess with her mind-Go NC and go play.

 

[flowtheory]

I feel the pain. My ex did this. Ruined a terrific relationship, broke up with me. Long story short she blamed me for her cheating saying I wasn’t this that or the other enough for her. I stayed super calm and cool the whole time. Never once hurled insults or showed my hurt. I went no contact. She went crazy. Two weeks after she reached out. I didn’t respond. 1 month later she reached out, i didn’t respond. 5 months later she reached out I didn’t respond (I made a thread).

Let her drown in her decisions. She will feel the pain greater than you. She’s the one who made the mistake. It has nothing to do with you, and I hope you don’t take it personally, because at the end of the day she’s the true loser.

The silver lining for you is that you now will learn to trust your gut more from the start and see the red flags sooner. Take responsibility for what you could control in the past and now; move forward. Upward. Don’t go downward. I know it hurts, but let go of the hot coals which you hold. Those are hers to hold.

 

[DreamAgain]

Thanks guys, my gut instinct tells me just disappearing is the way to go...but I was still thinking of sending something along the lines of this if she messages me:

Cheating Girl: "DreamAgain where are youuuu, what's going on? *kisses*"
Me: "Hey, just working."
Cheating Girl: "Want to come over tonight, watch a movie or something?"
Me: "Might be better you call someone else, maybe (insert name of guy she cheated with). I heard you guys get along well."

And then just go immediate NC after this?