How do you reject a girl without being heartless?

[MoreThanSmooth]

I know there's going to be a bunch of guys saying "LOL BETA PH@G!!1" just from the thread title, but personally I get insanely guilty over stuff like this.

How do you guys best let a girl know you're not interested without being a total pr*ck about it?

About 2 months ago I signed up to OLD. Met a few girls on there but I came off shortly after because I just don't have time with work how it is.

One girl's pretty cute, very friendly but I just don't have time. So I'm not interested. I let it cool off with her and didn't respond for 2 weeks, I've done this twice now and she starts messaging again.

Last message I literally said to her "Hey, it's not you, you're cool but I'm not looking to date right now, I don't have time for it. I've got you on FB, we can be friends?"

"Okay chat soon xx"

Sigh.

To me, what I said was perfectly clear. I've put her in the friend zone in a way that isn't unfair, I don't even know her that well tbh. But today she hit me up asking me to phone her so she can hear my voice (I've already said no once) and I've just ignored it so far.

What annoys me is that it actually stresses me out. I shouldn't care, but it actually makes me feel like I'm the one being an assh0le, partly because she's partially sighted so I guess I gave her attention where most guys don't.

Yet I'm not even giving her signals. It's sh*tty however I slice it.

 

[CBear]

I know there's going to be a bunch of guys saying "LOL BETA PH@G!!1" just from the thread title, but personally I get insanely guilty over stuff like this.

How do you guys best let a girl know you're not interested without being a total pr*ck about it?

About 2 months ago I signed up to OLD. Met a few girls on there but I came off shortly after because I just don't have time with work how it is.

One girl's pretty cute, very friendly but I just don't have time. So I'm not interested. I let it cool off with her and didn't respond for 2 weeks, I've done this twice now and she starts messaging again.

Last message I literally said to her "Hey, it's not you, you're cool but I'm not looking to date right now, I don't have time for it. I've got you on FB, we can be friends?"

"Okay chat soon xx"

Sigh.

To me, what I said was perfectly clear. I've put her in the friend zone in a way that isn't unfair, I don't even know her that well tbh. But today she hit me up asking me to phone her so she can hear my voice (I've already said no once) and I've just ignored it so far.

What annoys me is that it actually stresses me out. I shouldn't care, but it actually makes me feel like I'm the one being an assh0le, partly because she's partially sighted so I guess I gave her attention where most guys don't.

Yet I'm not even giving her signals. It's sh*tty however I slice it.

Theres no way to win. Whenever I have tried saying nicely that I'm not interested and that they'll find someone else, instead of being understanding, their demeanor changed and they seemingly hated me if they somehow bumped into me again. Another whale who I ignored recently because she had the wrong idea saw me at a party and tried insulting me and calling me a fvckboy and that I only care about myself. I laughed every time. In the end, you just have to not give a f*ck cause they're going to be disappointed either way.

 

[Fzatf]

I understand the guilt because I'm the type who would feel guilty. I would probably find the time to respond to her if she was persistent like that wanting to hear from you.

Best thing you can do is be honest and tell her you're so swamped at your job you just don't have the time for a relationship. You let her know and she probably thinks you're just blowing her off with fake excuses. I might even leave it open to say that if she's still interested you can get in touch with her once you're not swamped at work. If you're not interested just reinforce your position that you don't have time to date right now and she should get the hint.

 

[Tilex]

Do what all chicks do.
Go Silent
If you met them online, chances are their mailbox is already bombarded.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

The more egotistical of women can not handle 'rejection'. They are supposed to be doing the rejecting. A lot of game centers on this.

 

[wifehunter]

"You remind me of my sister. I miss her, I need to call her sometime!"

or... silence...she'll get the hint sooner or later.

 

[Serenity]

I think you rejected as politely as you could have. You were even honest about not having time. If she can't respect that and keeps bothering you I'd say you have no reason to feel guilty ignoring her.

She should feel guilty for not respecting your space.

 

[old_skoolr]

Have you tried just using her for sex and be brutally honest about it?